After Liz takes her ex-boyfriend, Dennis, back simply because he asks, Jack takes it upon himself to mentor her as he thinks that she is leading a life of mediocrity. Meanwhile, Tracy gets a tattoo in the face, Jenna gets botox and collagen injections, and Josh is given two black eyes by an angry Liz Taylor.
Cringe-heavy debut pushes character comedy to 81.9 with 2.74 jokes per minute.
Directed by Juan José Campanella, Don Scardino · Written by Jack Burditt, Robert Carlock
WAR
64.3
Wins Above Replacement
“Jack Meets Dennis” ranks #106 of 138 30 Rock episodes on the Humor Index, scoring 81.9 — Elite. The episode packs 66 scored jokes at 2.7 per minute, averaging 7.0 on craft and 6.9 on impact, with Liz landing the most laughs. Every joke is ranked below with its individual craft and impact scores.
Get weekly comedy rankings
Join comedy fans getting new analyses, score drops, and the funniest moments each week. Free, no spam.
Top Jokes
Liz: The old Beeper King retired... Well, technically he shot himself.
Liz Dark/Subversive Escalation Jenna: You sent a letter to Scott Peterson. After he dyed his hair and got super thin from all the stress.
Jenna Character Comedy Dark/Subversive ★ Rewatch Liz · Jack: So how did it go? He moved in with me. Well, of course he did.
Liz Jack Character Comedy Irony/Sarcasm Tracy: If I'm not a movie star, then I'm poor. And poor people can't afford to pay back the $75,000 in cash they owe Quincy Jones!
Tracy Escalation Character Comedy Liz: Dennis is my boyfriend because he inquired. He was the only applicant, and I am not-- Doin' great.
Liz Character Comedy Cringe/Discomfort All Jokes — 66 analyzed
Show all ↓ Hide ↑ Dennis: Maybe we'll see Natalie Morales, you know? That little firecracker, she gets my blood running south of the border.
Dennis Character Comedy Cringe/Discomfort Liz: Aw, you said 'Chinese' instead of something offensive.
Liz Character Comedy Meta/Self-Referential ★ Rewatch Liz: Yes, I'm annoying, not the man who honked your boobs on the jumbo screen.
Liz Character Comedy Cringe/Discomfort Liz: That was before. And it was the playoffs.
Liz Character Comedy Absurdist ★ Rewatch Liz: The old Beeper King retired... Well, technically he shot himself.
Liz Dark/Subversive Escalation Jenna: You sent a letter to Scott Peterson. After he dyed his hair and got super thin from all the stress.
Jenna Character Comedy Dark/Subversive ★ Rewatch Liz: Fast and only on Saturdays. It's perfect.
Liz Character Comedy Cringe/Discomfort Liz: Oh...'Normal.' How dare they?
Liz Irony/Sarcasm Reaction Beat Tracy: It only looks like I'm walking out of a Starbucks when, actually, I'm doing the robot goin' backwards into a Starbucks.
Tracy Absurdist Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Tracy: If I'm not a movie star, then I'm poor. And poor people can't afford to pay back the $75,000 in cash they owe Quincy Jones!
Tracy Escalation Character Comedy Jack: What's a drive-in? Of course. I don't know why I bothered to ask.
Jack Character Comedy Setup/Punchline Jack: I can tell just from your physical appearance that you're obviously... 29.
Jack Setup/Punchline Character Comedy Josh: Yeah, like if she walked in right now and said she wanted to do it with you, you would. I definitely would.
Josh Character Comedy Cringe/Discomfort Jenna: When someone asks an actress how old she is, it's more statement than question.
Jenna Observational Character Comedy Jenna: But she's old. She's like 38. I'm gonna be sick.
Jenna Character Comedy Irony/Sarcasm Jack: What tragedy happened in your life that you insist upon punishing yourself with all this... mediocrity?
Jack Character Comedy Setup/Punchline Jack: you have a piece of lettuce stuck in your hair.
Jack Visual Gag Character Comedy Callback Jack: He gave us the names of the most discreet private investigators to spy on our ex-wives.
Jack Dark/Subversive Escalation Jack: There appears to be a gentleman making passionate, angry, love to himself.
Jack Character Comedy Visual Gag Jack: Am I wrong, or is he in the middle of a staff meeting?
Liz · Dennis: Oh, my God, I hope it's his daughter. Yeah, me too. Oh, my God! Oh! God, I hope it's his mistress.
Dennis: Hey, 007, how about some more rolls over here, huh?
Dennis Character Comedy Cringe/Discomfort Jack · Liz: I didn't know they served chicken nuggets at this restaurant. It's cod. It's, uh-- They made it special.
Jack Liz Cringe/Discomfort Character Comedy Dennis: Actually, I'm allergic to all fish unless it's fried.
Dennis Character Comedy Absurdist Dennis: You know there are 17 rats per person in Manhattan? You eat a pound of rat crap every year without even knowing it, huh?
Dennis Character Comedy Cringe/Discomfort Jack: I hope you enjoy the, uh, choices that you've made.
Jack Deadpan/Understatement Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Jack: And that former call girl went on to become one of NBC's biggest news anchors.
Jack Dark/Subversive Meta/Self-Referential Tracy Physical/Slapstick Visual Gag Liz: He fixed my toilet. He broke it first, but he fixed it.
Liz Character Comedy Setup/Punchline Liz: I can't just go to Central Park and join the singles touch football league. Like I'd want to anyway. People in those posters, always laughing in their sweaters. Who are they foolin'?
Liz Character Comedy Observational ★ Rewatch Liz: Dennis is my boyfriend because he inquired. He was the only applicant, and I am not-- Doin' great.
Liz Character Comedy Cringe/Discomfort Liz: Really? This water-- does someone boil it first, then throw it in your face?
Liz Visual Gag Irony/Sarcasm Liz: No, younger even. You look like a fetus.
Liz Setup/Punchline Visual Gag Liz · Jenna: I just mentioned Dennis, and your eyebrows didn't go up. They didn't? No. How about now? Unh-uh. Anything?
Liz Jenna Visual Gag Physical/Slapstick Callback Dennis · Liz: If anyone sees a salamander, it's Liz's. No. I don't want a salamander!
Dennis: Oh, yeah, for now. But the beeper's gonna be making a comeback. Technology's cyclical.
Dennis Character Comedy Absurdist Dennis: it's when a bunch of rats are crammed into a tiny space, and their tails get all tangled up, and they can't even pull apart. And then it gets awesome. Eventually, their bodies fuse together and they form a multi-headed live rat king.
Dennis Character Comedy Cringe/Discomfort Jack: [whispering] I love him.
Jack Reaction Beat Character Comedy Tracy: Who normal now? You hear me, America? Who's normal now?
Tracy Character Comedy Visual Gag Callback Tracy: And when you purchase Tracy Jordan, he comes with a tattoo of a biblical dragon from outer space.
Tracy Character Comedy Absurdist Liz: Jenna looks like a porn star burn victim, and now this idiot.
Liz Setup/Punchline Character Comedy Liz Taylor impersonator: I'm here to give you the gift... of pain. The gift of what? White diamonds! Ha ha!
Liz Taylor · Josh: I'm here to give you the gift... of pain. The gift of what? White diamonds!
Liz: Oh, I can't. I'm expecting a call from 1983.
Liz Setup/Punchline Character Comedy Howard · Jack: I'm married with two beautiful kids and a pool. (Jack) Liz, I wasn't trying to set you up. I wanted to show you my handiwork.
Howard · Liz: I dressed poorly, had bad posture, walked around with lettuce in my hair. Oh, son of a bitch.
Jack: Now Howard's earning seven figures and he's married to a swell Filipino gal.
Jack Character Comedy Cringe/Discomfort Liz on phone · Friend: Are we still talking about the sandwich place? No, sadly, I don't think we are.
Liz · Phone conversation: Are we still talking about the sandwich place? No, sadly, I don't think we are.
Liz: Dennis isn't a sandwich I want to eat every day for the rest of my life.
Liz Character Comedy Meta/Self-Referential Liz: because sadly, you may be the most stable person I know right now.
Liz Character Comedy Irony/Sarcasm Liz: Because he wears shirts with the Looney Tunes embroidered on them. Because he cuts his own hair.
Liz Character Comedy Escalation Jack: That's right. He's the rat king.
Jack Callback Escalation ★ Rewatch Callback Jack: That's right. He's the rat king. And there's only one way to break up with a rat. You have to cut him off completely.
Jack Callback ★ Rewatch Callback Jack: You have to stuff your heart with steel wool and tinfoil. You must be ruthless. You must to be absolute. Remember always, you are The Exterminator.
Jack Character Comedy Escalation Tracy: Look, I'm crazy, not stupid. A movie star can't have a big old permanent face tattoo.
Tracy Character Comedy Setup/Punchline Tracy: I had extreme plastic surgery to have it removed. Ba-boom! That's another 'Not Normal.'
Tracy Character Comedy Escalation Callback Liz: Wayne Brady has three Emmys. You have a People's Choice Award that you stole from Wayne Brady.
Liz Setup/Punchline Escalation Liz: First of all, I'm not from Whiteville. I'm from White Haven, and it's not as nice as it sounds.
Liz Character Comedy Setup/Punchline Unknown cast member: [indistinctly] And I'm John Kerry.
Jack: No wonder your career is being held back by a lack of foresight and an addiction to dysfunctional relationships.
Jack Character Comedy Setup/Punchline Liz · Jack: He knows about my marriage? No.
Liz Jack Reaction Beat Character Comedy Tracy: Yo, this blackout messed me up. I didn't get to debut my dragon face. Could I do the Today Show tomorrow?
Tracy Character Comedy Absurdist Callback Tracy · Jack: Tattoo's fake, Donaghy. Fake. Street cred. He's a genius.
Tracy Jack Character Comedy Irony/Sarcasm Callback Dennis · Liz: There's no reason to live anymore. What happened? The Islanders lost tonight. Doesn't that happen a lot?
Liz · Jack: So how did it go? He moved in with me. Well, of course he did.
Liz Jack Character Comedy Irony/Sarcasm 