Do Over

Liz · Jack:Hello, pussycat. Oh, really? A lot of ladies get right in the car after that line, you creepy piece of... Jack!

Jack:That information is classified at least until Cheney dies. Which is going to be a long time from now. That man is mostly metal.

Liz:Devin is the worst. It's like he doesn't even care when we should have cake for people whose birthdays are on the weekend. The Friday before. At lunch.

Liz:I got rid of all my Colin Firth movies in case they consider them erotica. That man can wear a sweater.

Devin:You see, only thing Kathy and I need assistance with is deciding which John Mayer song to do it to.

Devin:Well, you know what they say about rumors, Jack. They make a 'rue' out of 'more' and 'S.'

Devin:Don't even think about talking to her when her soaps are on. Seriously, she will bite you.

Devin:If there's one thing I learned from you, Jack, it's keep your friends close and your enemies so close that you're almost kissing.

Tracy:I still don't know how that advertised Tokyo University.

Tracy:But I'm gonna use this $300 to buy us all some boots for me.

Tracy · Liz · Kenneth:My video game is selling through the rizznoof! Well, how far through the 'rizznoof'? Whoa, that's not slang. He has a speech impediment.

Tracy · Kenneth:I think I did it alone... and this check is the prizznoof. Now that one was just him being obnoxious.

Jack:The last time, it took me 22 years. But I know so much more now this time. I think I can do it in nine.

Jack · Liz:With a little hard work, I'll be back to V.P. status before I'm 60. And if my home evaluation goes well I will be a mother by 50. We really can have it all.

Bev · Liz:How often do you entertain gentlemen sex guests? Oh, boy, that's uh... Once a year maybe? But I'd be open to cutting that down.

Bev:You ever run a webcam ring outta here, Liz? Gentlemen tell you what to do, you do it? At first with some feigned hesitation?

Liz:I was arrested once in Germany for public nudity. I thought it was a topless beach. It was a shipyard.

Liz:Could be. Or it could be my annual sex guest.

Frank:Aw, come on, it's Movie Party Thursday. I brought in my tape of circus accidents. Please, A lion eats a sad clown.

Liz:Please, just be normal sauce for one day.

Jenna:I mean, I don't do anything for Yolanda and she sends me those headless dolls.

Pete:Can I hide this box of penis pasta in your dressing room?

Jack:She touched me in my swimsuit area. It made me very uncomfortable. It's not at all erotic and fun, like when men do it to women.

Jack:How far would I have to let her go to get my job back? Are we talking over the shirt? Frontsies, backsies? Or would I really have to give her my gift?

Liz · Jack:I thought you said nine years? I was promoted again this morning. I'm now Director of Mail Systems.

Liz · Bev:Is it so wrong that I just want to have one of these to grow up and resent me? Oh, you will.

Tracy:I know what you're hinting at, Liz Lemon. I should get my rap career going again.

Jack · Manny:Don't dress for the job you have, dress for the job you want to have. So now, Manny... Tomorrow I show up for work dressed as a Mexican wrestler.

Jack · Devin:Banks, you've got to get a hold of yourself. You've got a company to run. Oh, I'm running it. I have a plan to quadruple profits by the year 2015. How are you possibly going to do that? The old-fashioned way, Jack. I'm gonna shut it down.

Devin:I'm gonna shut the whole thing down for two years. I mean, imagine how badly people will want light bulbs then.

Devin:It's just 'G' now, Jack. I sold the 'E' to Samsung. They're 'Samesung' now.

Kenneth:Three of my nine siblings were adopted. And someday, I'm gonna find them.

Liz · Fred · Bev:Hey, Rick. I'm Fred. Rick is the other black guy. Happens to everyone, right, Bev? Yeah, happens all the time to my black husband.

Jenna:I first met Liz in 1993. She was fresh out of college and I had just broken up with O.J. Simpson. And can I just say something? Total gentleman.

Jenna · Liz:Then who were those kids you were yelling at the other day? Those were some child actors who had lied about being able to breakdance.

Pete:Actually, I lived with Liz while I was separated from my wife. In a platonic way. But I haven't lived there for a couple months now because I've been at an anger management treatment center 'cause I shot one of my co-workers with an arrow.

Frank · Bev:I think it's a circus in the Philippines. The lion goes nuts and attacks this older clown. How did we start talking about this? Did you bring it up?

Jack:I'm going upstairs to doink Kathy Geiss.

Tracy:I'd like to take this opportunity to thank everyone involved in making my video game the most profitable thing since the war on terror. Yes, I am provocative.

Tracy · Frank:Frank, for all your hard work, please accept this set of solid gold nunchucks. I will use these only for good.

Tracy · Pete:Petey Pete! For letting us use the sound booth Please accept this chinchilla coat. Wow. You're gonna get so much nice-nice in that you're gonna have to grow an another ding...

Tracy · Bev:Now you look out for my girl, Liz Lemon 'Cause me and her go way back like spinal cords and car seats. That's not really an expression.

Liz · Kenneth:Do you know what imperative means? Tell me, tell me! Important. It means important.

Kenneth:Mr. Banks... look how many pushups I can do.

Jack:Paid his way through Princeton by working the day shift at that graveyard and the graveyard shift at that Days Inn.

Jack · Liz:Thank God I don't have your biological need for children. That would make success impossible. Thanks.

Jack:And now it hinges on how far I'm willing to go with a woman in Dora the Explorer panties that were clearly made for an obese child.

Liz:No way, the best part of soap operas is when someone's twin interrupts a wedding. Or somebody pulls a gun at the fitness center.

Jack:She's wondering where my strawberry mouth is.

Pete:What? You mean the nursery! We gotta get this stuff back to the rental place by 5:00.

Liz · Fred:Rick, what are you doing? Bitch, my name is Fred.

Jack · Kathy · Bev:I work in the mailroom. Kathy, Bev and I are just friends. Kathy's the new CEO of our company. Bev, you better run. She's surprisingly strong.

Liz · Bev:'Unsatisfactory'? Are you okay, Bev? You had quite a fall there. Ah, I'm Bev. I'm here to do Liz's adoption evaluation.

Liz:I get a do-over. No, we have to take her to a hospital. 20 minutes. Just give me 20 minutes.

Jack · Liz:I'm gonna give Kathy the full soap opera while you try to trick a lady with a head injury. We might not be the best people. But we're not the worst? Graduate students are the worst.

Kenneth:She reminds me of my own mom. Tough love, consistency, a little moustache in a certain light.

Liz:I thought you were at the fitness center with your twin?

Jack:You know you're the only woman I've ever really loved.

Kathy:I've been paranoid ever since that incident with the weather machine.

Devin · Various:Check this out. I'm gonna sue you! I'm going to sue the entire city of New York! I'm gonna sue you! You can't sue me, I'm already being sued. Double indemnity!

Liz:No, I just like seeing you in there.