Jack worries that GE's microwave sales have improved too much without his help and tries to find glitches in their newest design. Meanwhile, Liz partakes in a crew lottery despite Jenna and Tracy's warning her not to do so. Elsewhere, the TGS writers discover that Jack is the voice of an online dictionary's pronunciation guide.
73 jokes in 21 minutes hits 30 Rock's densest pace, driven by character escalations.
Directed by Don Scardino · Written by Josh Siegal, Dylan Morgan
WAR
75.6
Wins Above Replacement
“College” ranks #66 of 138 30 Rock episodes on the Humor Index, scoring 85.5 — Elite. The episode packs 73 scored jokes at 3.4 per minute, averaging 7.1 on craft and 7.0 on impact, with Jack landing the most laughs. Every joke is ranked below with its individual craft and impact scores.
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Top Jokes
Liz: You know, usually everyone around here makes me feel like Hitler. But today I feel like Hitler in Germany.
Liz Dark/Subversive Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Jack's voice on computer: Lemon...lesbian...Frankenstein... wants her shoes back.
Jack: It wasn't the feces that got to you, Lemon. It was the crudely scrawled notes of 'help me.'
Jack Dark/Subversive Escalation ★ Rewatch Indian engineer · Jack · Indian engineer: Sir, this lab requires clearance. Clearance? I'm your boss. I'm Jack Donaghy. I'm sorry, your names all sound the same to us, John Donovan.
Jack: Oh, the things it's been dragged into. Thomas the tank engine. Wu-Tang songs. ♪ Ah, yeah, just like that ♪ ♪ make 'em clap, make 'em clap ♪
Jack Escalation Character Comedy ★ Rewatch All Jokes — 73 analyzed
Show all ↓ Hide ↑ Jenna: Liz, women wearing men's watches is so over. The new thing is to get an Adam's apple.
Jenna Absurdist Observational ★ Rewatch Unknown crew member: My mom just had this fixed for me. It was my grandfather's. He worked for years at Union Station in D.C. As a pickpocket.
Liz: What is this, Jabba's pleasure skiff?
Liz Observational Meta/Self-Referential Crew member: Get a tub of New suits from the suit emporium. Kabletown guys notice. Your hair grows back. Everything grows back.
Kenneth: That game is not for softhands and faceworkers. It's for strongs and lifters.
Kenneth Character Comedy Wordplay/Pun ★ Rewatch Liz: Your boos are not scaring me. I know most of you are not ghosts.
Liz Deadpan/Understatement Absurdist ★ Rewatch Crew members: How did you know that? You're like rain man. Quick, how many toothpicks are on the ground? - Zero. - You need to go to Vegas.
Toofer: I said time to end the charade and adjust my schedule to buy a new vase.
Toofer Character Comedy Setup/Punchline Writers: Schedule. Ha! Stay in the corner.
Writers Callback Character Comedy Callback Jack's voice on computer: America. Whiskey. Liberal.
Jack's voice on computer: Lemon...lesbian...Frankenstein... wants her shoes back.
Jack: Just out of frame is a wheelbarrow full of cocaine.
Jack Dark/Subversive Observational Jack: So why the trip down memory lame? Ha ha! High-fiving a million angels.
Jack Wordplay/Pun Absurdist Jack: And a G.E. woman for one week of corporate espionage at Revlon.
Jack Character Comedy Dark/Subversive ★ Rewatch Jack: They wanted me to record every word of the dictionary to preserve the perfect American accent in case of nuclear war.
Jack Absurdist Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Jack: Oh, the things it's been dragged into. Thomas the tank engine. Wu-Tang songs. ♪ Ah, yeah, just like that ♪ ♪ make 'em clap, make 'em clap ♪
Jack Escalation Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Liz: Huh, I always forget you used to be poor.
Liz Character Comedy Irony/Sarcasm Jack: It began when my father left and I started working on the Boston docks as a 12-year-old stevedore. Bales up, you micks! Bales up!
Jack Character Comedy Dark/Subversive Jack: It wasn't the feces that got to you, Lemon. It was the crudely scrawled notes of 'help me.'
Jack Dark/Subversive Escalation ★ Rewatch Jack: The fall of 1988. A young Liz Lemon enters the university of Maryland. Richard Marx haircut. Pilonidal cyst under control.
Jack Character Comedy Observational Jack: Don't worry about getting to your point. I'm going to live forever.
Jack Irony/Sarcasm Character Comedy Liz: A blonde girl high-fived me.
Liz Character Comedy Deadpan/Understatement ★ Rewatch Crew member: Paula's nickname for my penis.
Liz · Crew member: Wait, for real? - You know it, Arriflex.
Liz: Well, on some level, yeah. That's a four. That's a nine.
Liz Deadpan/Understatement Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Liz: What about three years ago when I said there should be more TV shows about cake?
Liz Character Comedy Callback Callback Jack: They'll probably give me a crystal plaque, and I in turn will reward one of them with a name remembrance.
Jack Character Comedy Observational ★ Rewatch Jack: Oh, Lemon, please. Money can't buy happiness. It is happiness.
Jack Setup/Punchline Character Comedy Drunk crew member: I love unicorns.
Jack's voice on website: Obama is very presidential.
Jack: When some of us had to spend their freshman year making those recordings. And leading a disastrous monkey escape.
Jack Callback Escalation ★ Rewatch Callback Crew member: Say Hey, Willie mays.
Liz: You know, usually everyone around here makes me feel like Hitler. But today I feel like Hitler in Germany.
Liz Dark/Subversive Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Jenna · Unknown · Liz: Wow, I would experiment with that girl. - Too small. - That's me for two weeks in college.
Jenna: You probably said 'fortnight.'
Jenna Character Comedy Observational ★ Rewatch Jenna · Lutz · Jenna: I'm the hot blonde. And I'm the nerd who takes off his glasses and everyone realizes he's handsome. And you're the R.A.
Liz: Only if R.A. stands for 'really awesome.'
Liz Setup/Punchline Character Comedy Pete: Oh, okay, look. What happened was Suzanne from ad sales got pushed into me in the elevator. I didn't try to touch her. And the sort of 'unh' sound I made was about something else.
Pete Cringe/Discomfort Character Comedy Pete: You know, whenever I tell my wife a work story, she pointed this out the other day... I always... always smile a little when I'm talking about you.
Pete Cringe/Discomfort Character Comedy Pete: ♪ Rollin' with my homie, me and Jackie d. ♪ ♪ Bitches get ready for a sex party ♪
Pete Character Comedy Cringe/Discomfort Liz: 'cause it's too much fun.
Liz Irony/Sarcasm Character Comedy Liz · Chris: What? It's me, the lizard. You can start calling me that. Look, we appreciate what you did for the crew last night, but you left some people out and that's not cool. What are you talking about? The Blizzard wouldn't do that. That's another option.
Liz: And who knows what it's gonna be? - Only the blizbian knows.
Liz Character Comedy Wordplay/Pun Jenna: This is why I hated my first two weeks at the royal Tampa academy of dramatic tricks. No one knew who was the sluttiest. But I showed them. Oh, I showed them all. And when we graduated a week later...
Jenna Character Comedy Escalation ★ Rewatch Toofer · Liz · Toofer: Look, there is no cool Liz. There's only R.A. Liz. You're wrong. My glasses are dirty. Ogbert?
Indian engineer · Jack · Indian engineer: Sir, this lab requires clearance. Clearance? I'm your boss. I'm Jack Donaghy. I'm sorry, your names all sound the same to us, John Donovan.
Indian engineer · Jack · Indian engineer: Trivection? What is this, 2009? The future is the tk-421. A new model? How many vections does it have? Five.
Jack's voice on microwave: Popcorn setting medium.
Indian engineer: Well, which time?
Kenneth: You know my uncle was a tinkerer. Until the FBI shot him.
Kenneth Dark/Subversive Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Kenneth: But after I left Kentucky Mountain Bible College, it still kept going. Until it was shut down because of the wolves.
Kenneth Escalation Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Kenneth: Television studies with a minor in Bible sexuality.
Kenneth Character Comedy Absurdist ★ Rewatch Jack: Damn it, it's supposed to do that.
Jack Irony/Sarcasm Character Comedy Crew member: I don't even care that we've taken a 73-minute break to eat it.
Crew member: Hey, somebody brought a dog to work. Oh, and it definitely doesn't have any of its own waste on its feet... Oh!
Liz: I totally forgot, Broseph. You're a lactose-intolerant alcoholic.
Liz Character Comedy Observational Crew: Lizard, lizard, lizard! Lizard, lizard! Lizard! Lizard! Lizard!
Crew Callback Escalation Callback Jack: Make sure you wear one of those Mexican ponchos.
Jack Character Comedy Observational Jack: Why don't you ask Choctee, an inuit who wants a hot bowl of naglak... a man and food I just made up to illustrate a point?
Jack Absurdist Meta/Self-Referential ★ Rewatch Kenneth: At least that's what my Nana is telling me from that tunnel of light behind you.
Kenneth Dark/Subversive Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Jack: Your Nana is an idiot.
Jack Deadpan/Understatement Character Comedy Jack: You know I'm not a delivery man. I'm wearing a suit and carrying a microwave.
Jack Observational Irony/Sarcasm Jack: 1985. That's not a time. I guess it could be a year. The year I started working here, actually. That's interesting. 1985.
Jack Character Comedy Escalation ★ Rewatch Indian engineer: You all sound the same to us, Jock Dungaree.
Young Jack's voice: Goodbye. Potato. Goodbye.
Restaurant worker: Are we racist, or do those guys look a lot alike?
Pete: She had overlapping pregnancies five months apart.
Pete Absurdist Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Jack: ♪ I don't know the words except park bench ♪
Chris: Not stolen property of Adolf Lemon?
Chris Character Comedy Dark/Subversive ★ Rewatch Liz: And if I see that filthy dog again, I will put it down. I will put it down with a smile.
Liz Escalation Dark/Subversive ★ Rewatch Callback Jack: I love you too. High-fiving a million angels.
Jack Callback Absurdist Callback Jack: Maybe what I see as red, you perceive as green.
Jack Observational Character Comedy Jack · Pete: Oh, god, she means the pizza. No, she's unhinging her jaw!
