Jack worries that GE's microwave sales have improved too much without his help and tries to find glitches in their newest design. Meanwhile, Liz partakes in a crew lottery despite Jenna and Tracy's warning her not to do so. Elsewhere, the TGS writers discover that Jack is the voice of an online dictionary's pronunciation guide.
73 jokes in 21 minutes hits 30 Rock's densest pace, driven by character escalations.
Directed by Don Scardino · Written by Josh Siegal, Dylan Morgan
WAR
121.4
Wins Above Replacement
“College” ranks #124 of 138 30 Rock episodes on the Humor Index, scoring 92.8 — Elite. The episode packs 92 scored jokes at 4.3 per minute, averaging 7.5 on craft and 7.2 on impact, with Liz landing the most laughs. Every joke is ranked below with its individual craft and impact scores.
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Top Jokes
Kenneth: After I left Kentucky Mountain Bible College, it still kept going. Until it was shut down because of the wolves.
Kenneth Character Comedy Dark/Subversive ★ Rewatch Jack's voice (website): Lemon... lesbian... Frankenstein... wants her shoes back.
Jack · TK-421 Microwave: Stop. The point is, my legacy here is... over. Done. Over. End. Stop.
Kenneth · Jack: Television studies with a minor in Bible sexuality. — So not psychiatry. Thank you.
Jack: It wasn't the feces that got to you, Lemon. It was the crudely scrawled notes of 'help me.'
Jack Dark/Subversive Absurdist ★ Rewatch All Jokes — 92 analyzed
Show all ↓ Hide ↑ Jenna: Liz, women wearing men's watches is so over. The new thing is to get an Adam's apple.
Jenna Character Comedy Absurdist Liz · Crew Member: My mom just had this fixed for me. It was my grandfather's. He worked for years at Union Station in D.C. As a pickpocket.
Liz: What is this, Jabba's pleasure skiff?
Liz Observational Character Comedy Crew Member: Get a tub of New suits from the suit emporium. Kabletown guys notice. Your hair grows back. Everything grows back.
Crew Member: That game is not for softhands and faceworkers. It's for strongs and lifters.
Liz: Your boos are not scaring me. I know most of you are not ghosts.
Liz Deadpan/Understatement Wordplay/Pun ★ Rewatch Crew Member · Liz: How did you know that? You're like Rain Man. Quick, how many toothpicks are on the ground? — Zero. — You need to go to Vegas.
Liz: Whoa, why is Toofer in the punishment corner?
Liz Visual Gag Reaction Beat Toofer: I said time to end the charade and adjust my schedule to buy a new vase.
Toofer Wordplay/Pun Character Comedy Liz: Schedule. Ha! Stay in the corner. Wait, that computer. It's Jack's voice!
Liz Running Gag Misdirection Jack's voice (website): Lemon... lesbian... Frankenstein... wants her shoes back.
Jack: Just out of frame is a wheelbarrow full of cocaine.
Jack Dark/Subversive Character Comedy Liz · Jack: So why the trip down memory lame? Ha ha! High-fiving a million angels.
Liz Jack Wordplay/Pun Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Jack: And a G.E. woman for one week of corporate espionage at Revlon.
Jack Character Comedy Dark/Subversive ★ Rewatch Jack: Part of my Princeton scholarship included work for the linguistics department. They wanted me to record every word of the dictionary to preserve the perfect American accent in case of nuclear war.
Jack Absurdist Character Comedy Jack: Thomas the tank engine. Wu-Tang songs.
Jack Absurdist Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Liz · Jack: Huh, I always forget you used to be poor. — Thank you.
Liz Jack Irony/Sarcasm Character Comedy Jack: Bales up, you micks! Bales up!
Jack Character Comedy Dark/Subversive Jack: It wasn't the feces that got to you, Lemon. It was the crudely scrawled notes of 'help me.'
Jack Dark/Subversive Absurdist ★ Rewatch Jack · Liz: Lemon, I really don't have time for a long... the fall of 1988. A young Liz Lemon enters the University of Maryland. Richard Marx haircut. Pilonidal cyst under control. It was a magical time, Jack.
Jack Liz Character Comedy Misdirection ★ Rewatch Jack: Don't worry about getting to your point. I'm going to live forever.
Jack Deadpan/Understatement Character Comedy Liz: A blonde girl high-fived me.
Liz Character Comedy Deadpan/Understatement ★ Rewatch Jack: Lemon, that's actually my thoughtful window-staring spot. Visitors stare...over here.
Jack Character Comedy Visual Gag ★ Rewatch Crew Member: Four of clubs. Paula's nickname for my penis.
Liz · Crew Member: Wait, for real? You know it, Arriflex.
Liz: Well, on some level, yeah. That's a four. That's a nine.
Liz Character Comedy Deadpan/Understatement Liz: Really? What about three years ago when I said there should be more TV shows about cake?
Liz Character Comedy Observational ★ Rewatch Jack · Liz: Lemon, why does your crew look drunk? — I won $1,000 and I gave them all a bar tab, and they got drunk at lunch and now they like me. — Oh, Lemon, please. Money can't buy happiness. — It is happiness.
Jack Liz Setup/Punchline Character Comedy Drunk Crew Member: I love unicorns.
Jack · Liz: Make me say anything you want. Get it out of your system. Obama is very presidential.
Jack Liz Character Comedy Irony/Sarcasm Jack · Crew Member: A bunch of 30-year-olds, sitting around acting like college freshmen. — Hey, I'm almost 46.
Liz Deadpan/Understatement Reaction Beat Crew Member · Jack's voice (website): Never did this before. Say Hey, Willie Mays.
Liz: You know, usually everyone around here makes me feel like Hitler. But today I feel like Hitler in Germany.
Liz Dark/Subversive Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Jenna · Tracy · Liz: Wow, I would experiment with that girl. — Too small. — That's me for two weeks in college.
Tracy: You probably said 'fortnight.'
Tracy Character Comedy Setup/Punchline Jenna · Toofer · Tracy: I'm the hot blonde. / And I'm the nerd who takes off his glasses and everyone realizes he's handsome. / And you're the R.A.
Liz: Only if R.A. stands for 'really awesome.'
Liz Character Comedy Deadpan/Understatement Pete: What happened was Suzanne from ad sales got pushed into me in the elevator. I didn't try to touch her. And the sort of 'unh' sound I made was about something else.
Pete Cringe/Discomfort Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Jack: Pete, will you be my friend?
Jack Character Comedy Misdirection ★ Rewatch Pete: I told you about my blankie.
Pete Character Comedy Dark/Subversive Jack: I'm lonely. Would you like to come to my office tomorrow evening and hang out? Bring your guitar and some beer in cans and we will jam.
Jack Character Comedy Cringe/Discomfort ★ Rewatch Jack · Pete: Now freestyle rap for me. ♪ Rollin' with my homie, me and Jackie D. / Bitches get ready for a sex party ♪
Crew Member · Liz: Hey, Liz, think fast! [football thrown at her]
Liz · Crew Member: Okay, this is why we don't play football in the studio, guys. — 'Cause it's too much fun.
Liz: What? It's me, the Lizard. You can start calling me that.
Liz Character Comedy Cringe/Discomfort Crew Member (Chris): Yeah, the alcoholics, Liz? How are they supposed to enjoy your bar tab?
Liz · Crew Member: And who knows what it's gonna be? — Only the Blizbian knows. — All right.
Jenna: This is why I hated my first two weeks at the Royal Tampa Academy of Dramatic Tricks. No one knew who was the sluttiest. But I showed them. Oh, I showed them all. And when we graduated a week later...
Jenna Character Comedy Absurdist ★ Rewatch Toofer: Look at me. I'm Ogbert the Nerd. Always have been, always will be.
Toofer · Liz: My glasses are dirty. — Ogbert?
Crewmember · Another crewmember: My glasses are dirty. Ogbert?
Jack: Ajay, Raj, Ramesh. What's going on here? Where are Dinesh, Kumar, and Sunavo?
Jack Observational Character Comedy Scientist: I'm sorry, your names all sound the same to us, John Donovan.
Scientist: Trivection? What is this, 2009?
Jack's voice (TK-421) · Jack · Scientists: Popcorn setting medium. — My god. — Which one?
Jack · Scientists: The new microwave says 'Popcorn setting medium' in Jack's voice.
Kenneth: You know my uncle was a tinkerer. Until the FBI shot him.
Kenneth Dark/Subversive Character Comedy Kenneth: After I left Kentucky Mountain Bible College, it still kept going. Until it was shut down because of the wolves.
Kenneth Character Comedy Dark/Subversive ★ Rewatch Kenneth · Jack: Television studies with a minor in Bible sexuality. — So not psychiatry. Thank you.
Jack · Kenneth: But if you really want to help me, stick your hand in there and see if you get a shock. — Aah! My hand! — Damn it, it's supposed to do that.
Liz: I don't even care that we've taken a 73-minute break to eat it.
Liz Character Comedy Observational Liz: Oh, and it definitely doesn't have any of its own waste on its feet... Oh!
Liz Irony/Sarcasm Physical/Slapstick Liz: I totally forgot, Broseph. You're a lactose-intolerant alcoholic.
Liz Character Comedy Dark/Subversive Liz · Crew Member: I remembered how special Tony is, and that's why I got him this watch. — Hey, you think of everything.
Crew: Lizard, lizard, lizard! Lizard! Lizard! Lizard!
Crew Running Gag Reaction Beat Callback Jack: Make sure you wear one of those Mexican ponchos.
Jack Character Comedy Absurdist Kenneth: Sir, I was wrong about the hypothermia. I don't even feel cold anymore. I don't feel anything.
Kenneth Dark/Subversive Deadpan/Understatement Jack: Why don't you ask Choctee, an Inuit who wants a hot bowl of naglak... a man and food I just made up to illustrate a point?
Jack Absurdist Character Comedy Jenna: Liz, we're pranking Pete, and it's going too far. Please stop us.
Jenna Character Comedy Meta/Self-Referential Liz: Hey. Everyone stop. Listen to Lutz.
Liz Character Comedy Reaction Beat Jack: You know I'm not a delivery man. I'm wearing a suit and carrying a microwave.
Jack Character Comedy Deadpan/Understatement TK-421 Microwave · Jack: Start time. 1985. — 1985. That's not a time. I guess it could be a year. The year I started working here, actually. That's interesting. 1985. — Yes, 1985. Thank you. And since 1985 I have never allowed a sub-par product...
Jack · TK-421 Microwave: Stop. The point is, my legacy here is... over. Done. Over. End. Stop.
TK-421 Microwave: Goodbye. Potato. Goodbye.
Jack: Congratulations on making the finest microwave I've ever seen.
Jack Character Comedy Deadpan/Understatement Scientist · Another Scientist: Who ordered the Greek salad? — Are we racist, or do those guys look a lot alike?
Jack · Pete: Sitting around drinking beer while a guy in a poncho plays guitar. This is what I always pictured college being like. — I wouldn't really know. I only had about two weeks of real college before Paula got pregnant... twice.
Pete: She had overlapping pregnancies five months apart.
Pete Dark/Subversive Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Pete: ♪ Ba Ba BA BA ba ba / sitting on a park bench / neer neer neer / I don't know the words except park bench ♪
Pete Character Comedy Physical/Slapstick ★ Rewatch Crew Member · Liz · Another Crew Member: Do not even use my awesome nickname. — What? — Crisco?
Crew Member · Liz: Did you give Tony your grandfather's watch? — No. You can't prove that.
Crew Member: Not stolen property of Adolf Lemon?
Crew Member · Liz: Why would you do that? To get us to like you? Are you that desperate? — No, I'm not desperate. I'm... just tell me what you want me to say and I'll say it!
Liz · Crew Member: Fine, you found me out. I'm not a cool kid. — You suck! — You know who I am? I'm the R.A. And do you know what the R.A.'s purview is? Rules.
Liz: According to the NBC employee handbook, your little card game lottery constitutes gambling. So you're not doing it anymore.
Liz Character Comedy Irony/Sarcasm Callback Liz: And if I see that filthy dog again, I will put it down. I will put it down with a smile.
Liz Dark/Subversive Character Comedy Liz: I love you too. High-fiving a million angels.
Liz Callback Character Comedy Callback Jack: Hey, Pete, how do I know that the colors you see are the same as the colors that I see? Maybe what I see as red, you perceive as green. We should be writing this stuff down.
Jack Character Comedy Absurdist ★ Rewatch Liz: Oh, I didn't think anybody would be in here. I mean, I brought you guys a pizza.
Liz Character Comedy Cringe/Discomfort Pete · Jack: Oh, god, she means the pizza. No, she's unhinging her jaw!
Pete Jack Physical/Slapstick Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Jenna · Liz: Come on, we were just pranking Pete! How long do we have to do this? — You wanted college to go on forever? You got it.
