Let Em Eat Cake

Narrator · News Anchor:Low-carb diets are sweeping the nation — news anchor segues immediately to 'And the latest on Iraq...' as the Atkins diet becomes the episode's running thematic thread

George Sr. · George Michael:George Sr. tells George Michael they'll watch his interview on TV and offers popcorn — George Michael gets excited about the popcorn, then George Sr. immediately says 'Yeah, the hell with Atkins, huh? I'll fry up some bacon.'

Michael · Lucille · George Sr.:'Nothing works in this house.' / 'Tell me about it.' / 'Is that a shot at me?'

Lindsay · Gob · Michael:Lindsay announces her new business: 'Beads.' / 'Bees?' / 'Beads.' / 'Beads?' — the three-way phonetic confusion between Gob, Lindsay, and Michael

Narrator · Gob:Stage direction: 'Gob's not on board' appears on screen as a chyron/narrator note while Gob is physically present and very much expressing opinions

Gob:'Beads aren't cheap. Are beads cheap?'

Gob · Michael:Gob: 'But... I'm the oldest.' Michael: 'The matriarch, if you will.' Gob: 'Sure. I will.'

Gob:Gob: 'Well, I'll start my own business. How hard can it be?' — followed immediately by bee sound effects (Bz-z-z-z) and 'We'll see who brings in more honey.'

Lucille:Lucille: 'He's thinking about bees again.'

Lindsay · Narrator:Narrator describes Lindsay's failed 'Mommy, What Will I Look Like?' business: 'which gave new parents a glimpse at what their infants would look like in half a century.' Lindsay: 'Hey, you put an ugly kid in, you can't be surprised when an ugly adult comes out.'

Lindsay · Tobias:Lindsay: 'He's completely oblivious. He's got no idea how I'm feeling or thinking.' Cut to Tobias: 'So there's no sex?' Lindsay: 'I mean, how do you not have sex with me?'

Tobias:Tobias: 'It is a struggle.'

Lindsay · Lucille:Lindsay: 'Great. Before you know it, I'll be in the red.' Lucille: 'And you can take that to the bank.' Lucille: 'I'm sure they'll contact me first.'

Gob · Buster:Gob enthusiastically declares he's 'in' on beads because 'I don't know. Honey?' — then pivots to thinking it's about giving bees as gifts

Annyong · Buster:Annyong tells Buster: 'Mother said no carbohydrate for you if you ever gonna get girlfriend that's not old lady.'

Barry:Barry: 'I think something laid eggs on me.'

Gob · Michael · George Sr. · Barry:Gob: 'I won't do it. I'm afraid of what I might know.' Michael: 'You? No one wants you. Does anyone want him?' / 'Who would want him?' / 'They don't want you.' Gob: 'Good.'

Michael · Lucille · George Sr.:You? No one wants you. Does anyone want him? / Who would want him? / They don't want you.

Gob:Gob: 'And now I'm expected to climb back on top of Kitty and do my thing again. I mean, this family runs into problems, it's — Oh, let's have Gob our way out of it.'

Gob:Oh. Good.

George Sr. · Gob:George Sr.: 'Find out what Kitty wants and just give it to her, but don't find out what she knows.' / Gob: 'Yeah, besides me, right? But I kind of got my hands full with these babies.' — pulls out bees

Gob · Prison Guards:Guards chase Gob around the prison meeting room: 'They don't allow you to have bees in here.'

George Michael:George Michael explains his TV appearance: 'I gave them a joke, but I don't know if they're gonna use it. You know, thanks to this diet craze, the last time we had a customer, the banana stand was still green.'

News Producer:News producer immediately: 'Lose it. No, lose the whole kid. We'll just go with the Iraq piece.'

Kitty · Michael:Flashback: Kitty lifting her top — 'Say good-bye to your company, Michael. And say good-bye to these.' / Michael (present): 'Guess I do get to see them again, huh?'

Kitty · Michael:Kitty: 'Can we please have one conversation that's not about my rack, Michael?'

Kitty · Michael:Kitty: 'I'd like to be in charge of the Bluth Company.' Michael: 'Well, I want a hamburger and French fries, but I can't have the bun or potatoes. Get real.'

Kitty:Kitty: 'If I was in charge, that would have been my first move too.' — after Michael brushes off the entire blackmail situation

Michael · George Michael:Michael: 'I think we're gonna be seeing Pop-Pop sooner than we thought.' George Michael: 'Do you hear that rattle? It is very worrisome.'

Lindsay · Narrator · Tobias:Lindsay: 'Actually, I am the breadwinner, Michael, as it turns out. I was walking in a strange place today — a place I'd never set foot in before.' Narrator: 'Tobias, walking down a street he'd been down many times, saw a book he'd written years earlier as a psychiatrist.'

Narrator:Narrator: 'The book, initially unsuccessful, had suddenly caught fire — although, strangely, only in the gay community.'

Tobias:Tobias: 'The book is huge. And I have a bit of money coming my way as a result. So if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go upstairs and run the shower. Let me know if it's too loud in the kitchen.'

Tobias · Michael:So if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go upstairs and run the shower. / Let me know if it's too loud in the kitchen.

Michael · Lindsay · Narrator:Michael: 'It's Dip-A-Pet all over again.' Narrator: 'Lindsay also had a brief foray into what she had then hoped would be the burgeoning fad of custom pet coloring.' — cut to Lindsay chasing a pet

Lindsay:Lindsay: 'Well, that would've worked if you'd sprung for a bigger sink.'

Lucille:Lucille describes the girl George Michael is on a date with: 'Some girl. I mean, she barely has a face. You couldn't pick her out of a lineup of one.'

News Reporter · Narrator:Iraq news report: reporter comments 'a lot of this damage is just due to shoddy workmanship' — referring to Saddam's palaces that turn out to be Bluth-built

Lucille:Lucille: 'Does that look a little like our kitchen island?' — staring at the news footage of Saddam's palace

Narrator · George Sr. · Michael:Narrator: 'There's a good chance I may have committed some light treason.' / George Sr.: 'This might even be considered light treason.'

Gob:Gob: 'Wonder how this is gonna affect my honey business?' — after learning Atkins diet is crushing carb-related businesses

Kitty · Gob:Kitty: 'What about macaroni... let me finish... salad?' — interrupting herself to tell Gob not to interrupt before he has

Gob:Gob, being seduced by Kitty into a power play: 'This is a side of you I'd never noticed before. Have they always been that big?'

Lucille:Lucille: 'That's funny. I always pictured Iraq in the middle of the desert.'

Lucille:Lucille: 'He never told me where he was going, but he used to come back from those business trips reeking of lamb. And people would send figs — not even at Christmas. In the middle of October. Oh, and once, someone sent him a toe, and he went white as a sheet.'

Gob:Gob's speech to Michael: 'I'm the first born. Sick of playing second fiddle. Always third in line for everything. Tired of finishing fourth. Being the fifth wheel. There are six things I'm mad about, and I'm taking over.'

Michael · Gob:Michael's list of what being 'in charge' actually means: 'a sister who takes your money and throws it away; a mother who you can't trust; a company whose founder may be on trial for treason. Is that what you want?' Gob: 'What kind of vacation time does it offer?'

Gob · Narrator:Narrator: 'Gob realized that the power play he promised to make with Kitty had perhaps come at a bad time.' Gob: 'I've made a huge mistake.'

Tobias:Tobias at his book reading: 'And, for the ease of the reader, I have changed all the gender-related pronouns — he, she — to the masculine he.'

Tobias:Tobias reads the dedication: 'The Man Inside Me. For Lindsay, my rock. I could not have done this without him.'

Tobias:Tobias reads from the book: 'For there is a man inside me, and only when he's finally out can I walk free of pain.'

Maeby:Maeby: 'This book is gonna sell, like, a billion copies.'

Tobias:Tobias: 'I was hoping for more women. Perhaps I shouldn't have just used he. I think that was a mistake.'

George Sr.:Oh, I've got the worst... attorneys.

George Sr. · Narrator:George Sr.: 'Yeah. What if she gives it to someone who's even moderately intelligent?' Narrator: 'In fact, Kitty had gone to someone moderately intelligent in her continuing quest for control of the Bluth Company.'

Buster:Buster on a date: 'Are you kidding? I don't need to brag that some people haven't even been on a date!' — to his date, apparently bragging about George Michael not having been on a date

Annyong:Annyong to Buster: 'Day not over yet, fatty.'

George Sr. · Michael:George Sr.: 'Well, Saddam owed us money. You didn't realize that he wouldn't pay?' Michael: 'Your mom had a good feeling about him.'

George Sr.:George Sr.: 'I'm gonna get a lethal injection because my son won't eat a potato.'

George Sr.:George Sr. volunteers for the polygraph: 'I want people to know I never willfully deceived anyone. Mistakes were made, but I never intended to hurt anyone!'

George Sr.:George Sr. having what appears to be a heart attack during the polygraph while still finishing his patriotic speech: 'I love my country! I love it here! You can shop... I love my... Can't breathe.'

Polygraph Operator:Polygraph operator during George Sr.'s apparent heart attack: 'Wait! Are you guilty? Yes or no?' — attempting to get a final answer while someone may be dying

Unnamed Character:Another person: 'That was not a nod. No. That was not a nod.'

Lucille:Lucille at the hospital: 'It's his own fault. What kind of diet is this? It's too much meat. I want all of you off this immediately. Except you.' — to Tobias

Tobias · Lindsay · Narrator:Tobias: 'Come on, Lindsay. This is my family.' / Narrator: 'And Lindsay realized that perhaps they did have something left — a real connection.' / Tobias: 'Also, Dale, one of the gentlemen from my reading, is a nurse here, so we were able to park right out front.'

Barry · Michael:Barry: 'Oh! Barry. Did you talk to a doctor?' Michael: 'I did. I have poison oak. Do you believe it? Where the hell did I get that?'

Gob:Gob: 'Look, I guess we should decide who's gonna speak for the family. I would, but I have Laker tickets.'

Buster:Buster's 'big moment' of leadership: 'I'm in charge now. I speak for this family. I mean, I could, if you wanted me to. I'd rather not, obviously. Don't know what I'd say. Why do I have to be the one? I don't need this. Why does this have to become my problem? No. I'm out. Forget it. Find somebody else. I'm sick of it. I'm sick of doing everything for this family.'

Michael · George Michael:Michael: 'I want to pack up and desert the family, and you don't want to. Is it this new girlfriend?' George Michael: 'No, it's because of the family. I like the family. I mean, if we leave, who's gonna take care of these people?' Michael: 'I don't know. The state or the police. Maybe the Magicians' Alliance will pick up some slack.'

Michael · George Michael:Michael and George Michael decide not to answer the phone. [Phone rings]. [They let it ring]. [00:18 silence]. Michael picks up anyway: 'Hello?'

Lucille:On phone, Lucille complains about George Michael: 'Where's George Michael? Ever since he's been dating this Annie McNo-face, he's been blowing me off.'

Nurse · Michael · Gob:He keeps trying to get this I.V. out of his arm. I don't understand why. / It's just glucose. / We're all trying to stay away from sugar.

Michael · Gob:Michael: '[George Sr.] keeps trying to get this IV out of his arm. I don't understand why. It's just glucose.' Gob: 'We're all trying to stay away from sugar.'

Gob:Gob: 'He likes the honey!' — while being comforted about George Sr.

Gob:"It'll take a lot more than a heart attack to kill that old bear. — Old bear! He likes the honey!"

Gob · Michael:Gob: 'He never got a chance to see my bee business take off.' Michael: 'Hey, come on, now. Dad's gonna be around another 30 years, Gob.' [pause] 'Your business, uh, might not.'

Gob · Annyong:Gob: 'You're a good brother, Michael.' / Annyong: 'Heart attack never stop old Big Bear.'

Michael · Gob:Michael: 'I didn't even know we were calling him Big Bear.' Gob: 'We never had a chance to!'

Michael · Family:Michael: 'I feel awful. I should have been here.' Family: 'You should've been here.' Michael: 'I feel like I covered that.' / Family member: 'Well, you didn't say it.' Michael: 'I feel awful. I should have been here.'

Doctor:Doctor: 'We lost him. He just, uh, got away from us. I'm sorry.'

Doctor · Michael · Family:Doctor: 'Can we go in there?' Michael: 'If you want. Not a lot to see.' / Michael: 'Maybe not for you, but for us.'

Narrator:Narrator: 'And that's when the family realized that George Sr. wasn't dead, but was fleeing the country that he loved so very much.'

Unnamed Family Member:On Next Season preview: 'Why would a doctor say he's gone when he means he's escaped? Wouldn't you say, He left out the window, or The room's empty?'

Unnamed Character:Next season preview: 'God, I've missed bread. Mmm.'

Maeby · George Michael:Next season preview: Maeby suggests she and George Michael should kiss again 'to teach them a lesson about obvious.'