Loves Labours Lost In Space

Doug:If you liked the meal... just wait till you try these after-dinner mints.

Leela:Ew!

Leela:I don't know. Something I couldn't quite put my finger on.

Amy:Possibly his vile lizard tongue.

Amy:If you rule out every guy... with a lizard tongue or a low I.Q.... or an explosive, violent temper... of course you're going to be lonely.

Zoidberg:The female Leela's problem... is purely medical. Soon she will drop her eggs and they will hatch... and all will be well.

Amy:Sometimes you meet a guy and think he's a pig... but then later on, you realize he actually has a really good body.

Amy:That sounds like a cry for help. Let's all take her out tonight.

Amy:The Federal Sex Bureau. A saucy puppet show. The rotting carcass of a whale.

Amy · Bender:Why's everyone wearing those rings? Because nobody wears them anymore. Rings are stupid.

Hipster · Amy:Hey, did that lad just say rings are cool? Nope. He said they're stupid. Cool!

Amy:I've got what they call 'gaydar.'

Amy:Unless I'm getting interference from a gay weather balloon.

Bolt · Fry:Remember when those cyborgs enslaved humanity? Uh... yeah. That rings a bell.

Amy · Bolt:I think she means ten wins on the gay circuit. I wish. Those cats can really fly.

Amy:This is M-5438, an entity of pure energy.

M-5438:One day you will evolve beyond your physical body... and on that day... I hope you will pick up the phone.

Amy:I think he comes from a dimension... that's big on musical theater.

Random guy:I'm sorry, I thought you had two eyes.

Bender:you must've had your pick of the litter... last night at closing time.

Professor Farnsworth:A delivery? No. A tax-deductible mission of charity.

Professor Farnsworth:each pound of which... weighs over 10,000 pounds.

Leela · Professor Farnsworth:Yes, but what about the animals? The what? The animals. I didn't say anything about animals.

Fry:Why two? Oh.

Bender · Fry:What she ought to do... is find a nice guy with two eyes... and poke one out. Yeah. That'd be a time-saver.

Bender:You can use this as an eye poker.

Leela:As long as it's less than five.

Kif:I'm not as big a fan of velour as you are.

Zapp Brannigan:Destroy them. Mmm... that's got a nice feel to it.

Kif · Zapp Brannigan:Who are you talking to, sir? You.

Zapp Brannigan:I'm anticipating an all-out tactical dogfight... followed by a light dinner. Ravioli, ham, sundae bar.

Zapp Brannigan · Kif:In the game of chess... you can never let your adversary see your pieces. What?

Bender:A grim day for robotkind. But we can always build more killbots.

Amy:Just in case you guys hit it off... you'll want to take this with you.

Zapp Brannigan:Or my own masterwork... Zapp Brannigan's Big Book of War.

Zapp Brannigan:If that wicker chair I like survives the slaughter... have it sent to my P.O. Box.

Zapp Brannigan:Has my fame preceded me, or was I too quick for it?

Zapp Brannigan:I doubt I've seen more than three or four captains... sexier than you... and only one who was deadlier.

Zapp Brannigan:You see, killbots have a preset kill limit. Knowing their weakness... I sent wave after wave of my own men at them... until they reached their limit and shut down.

Soldier:You suck!

Zapp Brannigan:Yes, by a Democratic Order of Planets mining crew.

Zapp Brannigan:I don't pretend to understand Brannigan's Law. I merely enforce it.

Bender:Can I get this wrapped up?

Fry:You really are too picky.

Kif · Zapp Brannigan:You already imprisoned her under directive B10.81. You mean Brannigan's Law? Right. That law. Which one?

Kif:This time we are sure she's a woman, right?

Zapp Brannigan · Kif:The boy, sir? You. You lay out my formal shorts.

Zapp Brannigan:Welcome to my humble chamber... or as I call it... the 'love-nasium.'

Zapp Brannigan:Cham-pag-en?

Leela · Zapp Brannigan:I didn't realize you were such a coin-a-sewer. Well, I have studied abroad... or two.

Zapp Brannigan:Erotic. What? Erotic! Erotic! Erotic!

Zapp Brannigan · Leela:Come over here and feel my velour bedspread. I'm not really in the mood. Leela, it's real velour.

Zapp:You'd rather sit in prison... than spend one evening with the Zapper?

Zapp Brannigan:What are you doing? Oh, God, I'm pathetic. Sorry. Just go.

Leela · Zapp Brannigan:No. And it's pronounced 'champagne.' Oh, God, no!

Zapp Brannigan:I get so lonely. I just thought you, a fellow captain, would understand.

Zapp Brannigan:Good morning, lover.

Zapp Brannigan · Leela:A sexy mistake. No, just a regular mistake.

Leela:The only kind of crawling I'm doing to you is away from.

Zapp Brannigan:Then you'll come crawling back... for another taste of sweet, sweet candy. Bam.

Zapp Brannigan:I have made it with a woman. Inform the men.

Guard · Leela · Bender:The fatso says you're free to go. Really? Why? Why indeed?

Leela:We just talked, okay?

Leela:The planet is supposed to collapse in approximately... two hours ago.

Bender:So you're saying we can cook him? Yeah, barbecue. I'll wear my hilarious apron.

Leela:I don't care how hilarious your apron is. We're not cooking him.

Kif:That's a shame, sir.

Zapp:once my woman returns... I won't have much time... to hang out with the boys anymore.

Bender:He's pending for a bending.

Leela:It's not his fault... he's an unstoppable killing machine. Is it, snuggums?

Fry:The planet's 'kerploding.'

Bender:Yeah, I'll do it when we get back.

Leela · Fry:Nothing. We just talked. So what's your problem? It's not like you slept with him. Oh, my God!

Amy:Oh, my God! Oh, how could you, Leela? I thought you had some standards. I mean, geez, he's a dumb gross gorilla.

Fry:I thought you had some standards. I mean, geez, he's a dumb gross gorilla.

Zapp Brannigan:So crawling back to the Big 'Z' like a bird on its belly. Delicious.

Leela · Zapp Brannigan:Birds don't crawl. They've been known to.

Zapp Brannigan:Can't you ask a little more sexfully?

Zapp Brannigan:Brannigan's Law is like Brannigan's love... hard and fast.

Leela:You know, Zapp, once I thought you were a big, pompous buffoon. Then I realized that inside, you were just a pitiful child. But now I realize that outside that child... is a big, pompous buffoon.

Leela:You know, Zapp, once I thought you were a big, pompous buffoon. Then I realized that inside, you were just a pitiful child. But now I realize that outside that child... is a big, pompous buffoon.

Zapp Brannigan:And which one rocked your world?

Leela:So this guy just unloaded a steaming pile... of starship fuel?

Bender:So a couple of animals... didn't die, and Leela got lucky. That's what I call a successful mission.

Leela:I did find a cute little companion... who excretes starship fuel, and that's just as good.

Zapp Brannigan:And in the end, is that not what man has dreamt of... since first he looked up at the stars? Kif, I'm asking you a question.