The Day The Earth Stood Stupid

Leela:Nibbler, roll over and you get a ham. Roll over. Roll over for the ham.

Bender · Zoidberg:- Five hundred dollars, you say? - Dog food, you say?

Bender:I have a late entry. My hard-shelled whooping terrier, Mr. Zoidberg.

Bender:Suck in that gut! You wanna be spayed?

Zoidberg:I should be weeping! I'm not weeping!

Announcer:...Dave Spiegel and his owner, Fluffers.

Announcer:Second prize, this lovely afghan, made from an Afghan, goes to...

Bender:Second place? That's a fancy word for losing! You didn't stick your landing!

Announcer:That's the eloquence you'd expect from the owner of...the Dumbest Pet in Show!

Everyone:All glory to the Hypno-Toad!

Fry:Don't listen to them. People said I was dumb, but I proved them.

Leela · Professor:- Why is that good news? - They paid in advance.

Leela · Fry:- The planet we live on? - I'd hate to be those guys.

Leela:What's got into him? He's twitching like Zoidberg when you say 'food.'

Zoidberg:What, now?

Leela:Am I going crazy? Have my years of hedonism caught up with me?

Bender · Fry:- Help me! My heart stopped! - You don't have one. You're a robot.

Fry · Bender:- Well, yeah. Robots are made of metal. - Am I a robot?

Zoidberg:Zoidbee want balloon! Want balloon now! Zoidbee want go outside!

Leela:Unbelievable! I thought you were a furry little moron. But here you are flying an adorable spaceship!

Nibbler:Oh, stupider.

Leela:So every religion is wrong.

Governor:I'm sending in more trains.

Morbo:How do you say the letter that looks like a man with a hat?

Amy · Zoidberg:Let's buy Internet stock! On margin! Zoidbee wanna buy on margin!

Hermes:Hey! Let's all join the Reform Party!

Nibbler:By the time you pronounce one letter of my name...a trillion cosmoses would sink into eternal night.

Nibbler:When the universe was forged in the big bang...our mighty race was already 17 years old.

Nibbler:Thoughts screech at them like the forced laughs of movie patrons.

Leela:Wipe out thought? My God! They're flying televisions!

Nibbler · Leela:Like a carpet-remnant prom dress. - Like your prom dress.

Nibbler · Leela:- Like a carpet-remnant prom dress. - Like your prom dress.

Fry · Leela:- A pickle jar? - Thomas Jefferson?

Professor:Oh, Chester A. Arthur fall down.

Fry:A giant brain is basically a giant nerd. And where would a giant nerd be? The library!

Big Brain:Dewey, you fool, your decimal system has played right into my hands.

Big Brain:We have long since evolved beyond the need for asses.

Fry:That's right! You'll find a little knowledge is a dangerous thing!

Fry:Hardy Boys? Too easy. Nancy Drew? Too hard. Perfect! Bonfire of the Vanities!

Nibblonian Commander · Nibblonian:- Sometimes I fear we are cute. - Oh, niggle-snooch.

Fry · Leela:- Big whale over there. - I saw it first.

Bender:Wait! That no white whale! It gray thinkie whale!

Bender:Tom Sawyer, you tricked me. This is less fun than previously indicated.

Jane Austen character · Fry:A bachelor at your age. - I'm an oddity? Wait till...

Big Brain:I'm a gigantic brain!

Big Brain · Character:I'm a gigantic brain! / I say! Most ungentlemanlike.

Big Brain:The Big Brain am winning again! I am the 'greetest'!

Big Brain:Now I am leaving Earth for no 'raisin'!

Nibbler:And so, life returned to normal. Or as normal as it gets on this dirtball inhabited by psychotic apes.

Nibbler:Except Fry. And no one believed him or cared what he had to say.

Nibbler:And when that day comes, God help us. God help us all.

Leela:Time for a diapie change.