Ghost In The Machines

Hermes:As long as nothing happens for the next 15 minutes, our insurance will be reinstated. So, let's just sit quietly and run out the clock.

Fry:A giant sausage!

Fry:Oh, God, no! Get out of here, you horrific sausage!

Professor:Those were dark times.

Leela:No, that's just the Jamaican Pride float.

Amy:Oh, no! It's within munching distance of the Doritos float!

Zapp:Kif, you're slacking off on my waving arm.

Paleontologist:Thanks. I have another one that says 'Paleontologists Do It In The Dirt.' I'm a paleontologist.

Paleontologist's wife:Oh, honey, I dig you so much.

Mayor:This one's for the deadbolt, this is for the top lock. I think this one's for the knob. The city's in a bad neighborhood.

Fry:Heroes don't do drugs. Except for Drugman, I guess.

Fry:Heroes don't do drugs. Except for Drugman, I guess.

Fry:It sure was nice of the mayor's wife to have sex with me.

Bender:Do you think human life is more precious than robot life?

Leela:Bender, you always say you're going to kill yourself, but you almost never do.

Amy:Yeah. Last time you went to the suicide booth, you ended up dating it for six months.

Amy:How is Lynn, by the way?

Bender:Living in Oregon with her crazy mother.

Bender:Fat, but great.

Lynn:My mom tried to commit suicide in me. I don't want to talk about it.

Bender's coworker:Everyone, put on your taking-off caps.

Bender's coworker:It's a sign of respect, you savage!

Bender:Look at that loser getting garbage dumped in him. Glad I'm not him, whoever he is.

Hermes:Just don't pick his nose! Ha, ha, ha, ha.

Hermes:What's wrong with you guys? This is comedy gold.

Bender:Hey, dip-schlitz, that's not me. I'm right here. Hello?

Bender:What? I thought I just had laryngitis and antigravity.

Bender:Adoy. Wait. Adoy?

Robot Devil:They still stink of candy corn.

Bender:I'm not stupid. So, yes, absolutely.

Bender:I like that there's no catch this time.

Bender:Maybe he'll die if I rub him all over with it, real slow.

Fry:No! Not the armpits! Winter's coming!

Hermes:Since Bender's death, requests to bite one's shiny metal ass are down 98%.

Leela:Whoa, maybe you're right. I only meant to slap you twice.

Phone message:The number you have dialed has been lame since 1989.

Professor:I said science!

Fortune teller:I'm rich.

Leela:There's no such thing as ghosts, you donkey-monkey.

Bender:Me, dumbass. Bender, Bender, Bender, Bender!

Scruffy:Oh, lord. I got the too-much-macaroni sweats.

Reverend:It also keeps cats off the sofa by killing 'em.

Bender:Damn you, Obama-care!

Doctor:Not helping him.

Bender:That's the closest thing to 'Bender is great' that anyone besides me has ever said.

Fry:Well, yank my beard. This be a surprise.

Fry:Well, yank my beard. This be a surprise.

Bender:Yo, big bonnet, move your ugly but modest head covering.

Robot Devil:She's naked but unharmed.

Bender:You're using my own words against me. Go to hell!

Bender:Run for your life, Fry! Move your ham flaps!

Robot Devil:I'm afraid your friend is about to be fully buckminstered!

Bender:There's one, you rusty old dummy.

Robot Devil:Hey, no fair. Ocupado.

Fry:Well, I think the Robot Devil said he loved me in Bender's voice wearing Granny Hester's clothes.

Fry:Well, I think the Robot Devil said he loved me in Bender's voice wearing Granny Hester's clothes.

Robot Devil:You may find your victory Pyrrhic when subjected to this lyric

Bender · God:Shut up, God! Beg pardon?

Fry:Hey, wait, did you haunt me?