Benderama

Hermes:Due to budget cutbacks, we will no longer be offering free squid guts in the kitchen. (Sobbing)

Fry:I like how it's not killing us so far.

Professor Farnsworth:You see, as I age, I've been shrinking and feeling colder. So I now need twice as many sweaters, in a smaller size.

Fry:So that's where baby sweaters come from.

Scary Door Narrator:That's 'eerie' with two e's.

Scary Door Narrator:Dr. Daniel Zenus, an inventor with a terminal case of 'the lazies.'

Dr. Zenus:If only I'd programmed the robot to be more careful what I wished for. Robot, experience this tragic irony for me.

Fry · Leela:Man, I wish we had a robot to do stuff. I know, right?

Bender:I'm sorry, do you see a robot in this room named 'folder'?

Professor Farnsworth:Bender, would you mind 'bending' my new sweaters?

Bender:You want me to do two things? Man, I'd call my lawyer if dialing a phone wasn't such a hassle.

Bender:Razza frazza two things. Ooh. Razza frazza duplicator.

Mini Bender:Howdy, fellas. I'm Bender. Go to hell, old man!

Bender:I like your attitude. Let's party.

Mini Benders:Both: I'm sorry, do you see a robot in this room named 'folder'?

Leela:Does that mean they only do 60% of the work you do, or that they actually do more work because they're only 60% as lazy?

Bender:Aw, and one regular-sized condom. All that and a small wiener? This guy's got it goin' on!

Leela:(Leela screams)

Leela:I hope that's vanishing cream, 'cause that needs to go away.

Mini Bender:Oh, that's cold-blooded!

Bender:You so ugly, when trick-or-treaters come to your house, they give you candy.

Bender:You so ugly, when you go to the bank, they ask you to put on a ski mask!

Bender:You so ugly, you cracked the daily mirror. It's a newspaper!

Leela:Don't feel bad, sir. It's not your fault. You probably just inherited your appearance from your mother.

Fry:Oh, God, shield your eyes! It's like Edward James Olmos on IMAX!

Bender:And that's the story of how one of me became two, and two became four, making seven total. The end.

Mini-Benders · Bender:One thing each? Sounds fair. Wait, make that four cigars. Both: You want us to do four things?

Tiny Bender:Which way to the tiny hookers?

Scruffy:It appears to be giving you the finger, sir. Enjoy.

Tiny Bender:Help me, help me! I'm too lazy to escape!

Professor Farnsworth · Hermes:It's non-convergent! Oh, dip!

Bender · Leela:Wait, does that include me? (Shot fires, Bender groans)

Leela:Too bad he didn't have his own Bible. Just 2,045 more to go.

Leela · Doll:Wait, this isn't a real Bender. It's a talking doll from when Bender had that sitcom about the city robot who moves back to the farm. Shut your pumpkin, bumpkin.

Leela:All right, so I let one measly Bender get away. How much harm can one infinitely self-reproducing robot do?

Micro Bender:Bite my tiny metal ass!

Amy:Like the Kardashians.

Linda:I can no longer face my children!

Professor Farnsworth:I was lying here snoozing, dreaming, oddly enough, about bathing in champagne with six of the world's most distinguished scientists

Bender:It's like fine cognac with a hint of aged scrotum.

Bender:Oh, no! What will I mix with my scotch?

Morbo:Water is now.... now booze, and everyone's tiddy much protally fit-shaced.

Morbo:There were no survivors.

Zapp Brannigan:That's your penis. That's my boy.

Fry:You're so stinky, you need right guard and left guard.

Fry:Your face has been declared a weapon of mass disgusting.

Fry · Bender:You mean you'll do two things, and I only have to do one thing? Yeah. Just save the world. Sucker.

Bender:If we all pitch in, we each only have to do one quintillionth of a thing.

Bender:Yeah, if you're into gray dust.

Bender · Giant:How, by making me look at you? No. By making you look at... my mama!

Bender:think how also we might defeat the monsters of poverty and disease and unliteracy.

Micro Bender:Come on, let's go someplace where we don't have to do one quintillionth of a thing all the time.

Bender:Maybe I did. Or maybe I rescued one last mini-Bender to fold stupid, ugly sweaters while I laughed at him.