Parasites Regained

Fry · Boss:You stink, loser. Hey, Fry! Pizza going out!

Fry:Hello! Pizza delivery for... D. Frosted Wang?

Fry · Unknown:One time was funny. But every week for ten years? Not as funny. True, not as funny. But still somewhat funny.

Professor:There'll be no promotions unless somebody dies. And even then, only if we can't bring them back as a zombie, like Scruffy.

Scruffy:Life and death are a seamless continuum. Mm-hmm.

Fry · Roberto:I could use a shot in the arm. I get shot in the leg!

Roberto:What? A fella can't drop in on old friends and hold them hostage?

Roberto:Listen up, piggies, I want a hovercopter, and an unmarked sandwich, and a new face with like a, a Hugh Grant look.

Unknown:He's bluffing. Ouch! He's not bluffing!

Roberto · Cop:You call for a chopper? Nah, I specifically said hovercopter!

Smitty · URL:You know, URL, sometimes it's almost too much for me. You mean the respect we get? And the high level of job satisfaction? There's that, but I'm also talking about the non-stop promotions and the free hot rod.

Amy:Mm. I do love a man in uniform. Ahem! I mean a uniform that doesn't involve short pants.

Fry:I can see I have no future here. My only option is to resign with dignity. Here are my shorts.

Police Academy Officer · Fry:You think you can just waltz in here with no pants and become a cop? That's the plan.

Police Academy Officer · Fry:I like you, kid. I got no pants on, either. I can see that. You're quite a bit taller than me.

Sound Effects 5000 · Fry:Weep, wop, beep! Wow. That would be impressive if you were a human. Yeah.

Chief O'Manahan:I'll make this short and sweet, 'cause I'm PMSing like a lumberjack.

Chief O'Manahan:You're gonna get your boob scuffed. But if you've got the vulva to stick it out, I'll be proud to call you ladies policemen.

Instructor · Sound Effects 5000:Now, can you actually turn on the ignition? I don't have any hands.

Chief O'Manahan:Well, it's that time of the month. Graduation day. So grow a pair and put them together for our new officers!

Citizens:Hooray! Free sky sticks! Oh! Police brutality!

Chief · Fry · Unknown:And Smitty was just a few days from retirement. Wh-What happened? He took a early retirement. Damn.

Professor:Oh, I just said that for Fry's benefit. Made the poor fellow feel better about his pointless job.

Professor:I've improved on Fry by sticking some wheels on a board

Bender · Professor:That dangerous 3D planet? Can't we just send our avatars? No, it's cheaper just to have you die.

URL:Whoa. 15 miles over the speed of light. That's a violation of the law of Lorentz's invariants, baby.

Fry:An electric wall, eh? I can't see the harm in peeing on that.

URL · Fry:Whoa! Where'd my man learn that? Sunny D commercial.

URL · Schrodinger:Erwin Schrodinger, huh? What's in the box, Schrodinger? Um... a cat, some poison, and a cesium atom.

URL · Fry · Schrodinger:Is it alive or dead? Alive or dead? Answer him, fool. It's a superposition of both states until you open it and collapse the wave function. Says you.

Schrodinger:There's also a lot of drugs in there.

Chief O'Manahan:Cat's gonna testify. Guys like this really bust my uterus.

Chief O'Manahan · URL:Ever heard of the Future Crimes Division? Tomorrow, I have.

Bender:Well, I guess you should have had two eyes.

Bender · Leela:Screw that! I ain't no delivery boy. I'm the company chef. Oh, you're the chef, are you? Then why don't you make us something nice to eat? Here's your damn peanut butter and jelly sandwich!

Fry:That's ridiculous. Only horoscopes can predict the future.

Chief · Fry:We call him... Pickles. On account of it's like he's floating in a jar? Exactly.

Chief · Fry:What's pink polka-dots? Clown slaughter. It happens more often than you'd think.

Murderer · Victim:My kajigger! Hattie McDoogal.

URL:Uh-oh, we only have a half hour to chill out before we head over.

Chief:He was going to murder you, marry your parakeets, and then poison them with an arsenic-laced cuttlebone. Classic move.

Chief · Fry:Now, if you'll excuse me, I got to go drop a big one. Eight pounds. I'm naming her Burt. Mazel tov, Chief. That's a beautiful bathroom baby.

Fry:The thief seems to be some sort of ghost. Or is he?

Professor · Others:Things used to be funny around here. Noses were picked, pants fell down. So what changed? Only Fry could say, and he's gone.

Leela · Bender:We had nothing to say to each other, so we had to listen to Bender's Eagles album for 27 hours. Beats talking to you, witchy woman.

Amy:Look at you. Hubba hubba. Your pants go almost all the way to your ankles.

Bender:Normally, when a cop asks me that, I spray whip cream in his eyes and run away, but to ditch these losers, gladly.

Bender:Normally, when a cop asks me that, I spray whip cream in his eyes and run away, but to ditch these losers, gladly.

Bender:I may have a burgling familiarity with it.

Bender · Fry:The Maltese Liquor-- the strongest, the most valuable malt liquor ever brewed! And soon it will be mine. I'm sorry. You were saying?

Fry:You wrote 'commit the crime'!

Fry · Bender:That's me! I recognize the face. You shot me! You miserable dingus!

Fry · URL:No! No! What have I will have done? Man, that's heavy. Osmium heavy.

Fry · URL:You... and the chief? Mm-hmm. We been gettin' it on. Right there in your chair. I'm like, 'Oh, baby! Oh, baby!' And she's like, 'Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.'

Fry:I would never shoot Bender. Never! He taught me how to shave.

Fry · Bender:I could never shoot you. Never! You taught me how to shave. See? Just get out of here. Go!

Pickles:The Maltese Liquor done destroyed their brains. Fools should have known it's fatal for anyone but robots and Billy Dee Williams.

URL:Fate is a freaky mistress. Much like the chief.

Bender · Homeowner:In order to fix your leaky roof, I'll need to spend two or three hours down here in the wine cellar. I'll be upstairs putting batteries in things.

Bender:Invisible safe, eh?

Bender:Either you're going to shoot me, or I'm going to spray whip cream in your eyes and walk out of here like a big shot.

Bender:Either you're going to shoot me, or I'm going to spray whip cream in your eyes and walk out of here like a big shot.

Pickles:Do you have any idea what a burden it is to know everything that will ever happen? To never be surprised. To know the punch line of every joke hours in advance. Like watching Leno.

Fry:Funny thing about destiny. Sometimes fate has other plans.

Pickles · Bender:Oh, nuts. You shot me! You miserable dingus! And now the part I didn't show you.

Pickles · Chief:Finally, blissful ignorance. I have no idea what's going to happen next. Did you get that, Chief? Huh?

Pickles · Fry:But how could you know my prediction was fake? I knew something was wrong, but I couldn't put my finger on it. Then it hit me. You showed Bender sharing the deadly booze with our friends. Bender would never share. The very idea!

Chief:So we set up this little charade based on an episode of Speed Buggy.

Professor · Fry:I hear by promotion, executive delivery boy. Executive? It's a meaning less title. But it helps insecure people feel better about themselves. I feel better about myself!

Professor · Fry:Executive? It's a meaningless title. But it helps insecure people feel better about themselves. I feel better about myself!