Rage Against The Vaccine

Professor Farnsworth · Leela:Remember when you asked to see my family tree? No.

Professor Farnsworth:inventor of television, and as a bonus, childhood obesity

Professor Farnsworth:Where is he, blasted?!

Professor Farnsworth:No wormy fruit on this tree.

Professor Farnsworth:He's way over here on this filthy branch riddled with fungus and dung beetles.

Leela · Professor Farnsworth:What's with the 17 dung beetles? Well, it's 6:00.

Bender:Time to go clubbing! Baby seals, here I come.

Fry:I need the extra money to buy coffee so I can stay awake for my night job.

Fry:You've got a surprising amount of algae in your beard, Mr. President.

President head:Oh! Lay off my trademark mole!

Lars:Fry. Whatever.

Lars:no head bowling, and no parties, or it'll be your ass in a jar

Bender:Man, this place is a snooze.

President Taft:You're on, skinny.

Historical figure:Come on, you pansy! I'm thirsty! I want me some Tennessee loopy juice!

Historical figure:And I want loose women! The kind that aren't afraid to show a little ankle. Or elbow.

Bender:Oh, boo-hoo, I'll lose my minimum wage job.

Historical figure:You're mean, rutherford b. Hayes!

Historical figure:We have nothing to fear but running out of beer.

Character · George Washington:So, you grow hemp. Yes. And, uh, you do what with it? All manner of things. Manufacture paper, fabric, rope... Oh. Well, nice talking to you.

George Washington:Why, I used to smoke about four feet of rope a day. Let me give you my pager number.

Reagan:I asked you to leave me alone.

Reagan:Farnsworth?! That name is a stain on American history.

Professor · Someone:You're lying! He's George Washington. He tends not to do that.

Jerry:Hi. I'm Jerry. I like movies.

Lars:Mr. Fry! Why are all these people standing around... When they should be partying?

Someone · LBJ:Hey, hey, lbj, you want to get drunk? Oh, hell, yeah.

Zoidberg:Eh, not bad. A hint of vitalis and...

Fry:I recognize this. It's the 1960s! I did a report on it for my drug-taking class.

Andy Warhol:Hi, I'm Andy warhol, and you're some kind of marvelous lobster-man.

Zoidberg:Say, you got any real soup, or just this schlock?

Character · Bender:That head gave me a total head trip! Really? I'm gonna lick Herbert Hoover's head.

Bender:I'm not a still. I just smell like one.

Dr. Cahill:Very observant, Professor. To preserve the heads, we use a rare form of powdered crystalline opal. This is the world's entire supply. Yet it's so powerful, it should last a thousand years.

Professor · Character:Because it didn't! Uh, yeah-huh.

Zoidberg:Ugh! Schlock and more schlock.

Professor:I've discovered a new means of time travel. I'll call it the Farnsworth effect!

Leela:Professor, no! You can't tongue the father of our country!

Character:Rush hour.

Continental Congress:Our nation's official joke state shall be new Jersey.

Bender · Hamilton:Watch it, wiggy. I ain't no stinking crock. We'll see about that in five hours.

Leela · John Hancock:Uh... ever been to Peru? Certainly not. I'm from Peru.

Founding Father:When he's not in Charlotte or Marybelle or Louisa.

Fry:I'm sure no one's ever said this before, but I must get to Philadelphia as quickly as possible!

Professor:Oh! Why couldn't my disgraced ancestor have lived in the nascar era?

Bender:I ain't no stinking steam engine!

Bender:Mostly machine. Might be a couple of dead cats in there.

Franklin · Professor:More like Taxachufetts. That's just how we print 's's, you ftupid fhitheads.

Franklin:I call it the Franklinator.

Franklin:I call it the Franklinator

Leela · Bender:Bender, do you know what a chamber pot is? I don't know, and I don't care.

Character:Bender bit a poo penny. Bender bit a poo penny.

Franklin:There's only like 40 people who do anything around here.

Character:and bender kicked our horse to death.

Bender:Stupid Franklin. I will get you!

Bender:I'm 40% scrap metal.

Paul Revere:Teakettles. Yes, I've made some new teakettles. Perfect for special occasions. Like hanging king George in effigy...

Paul Revere · Franklin:What are you looking at, you British bastards? Paul, we talked about this.

Character:Aw, I got a chipmunk.

David Farnsworth:I is Davy Farnsworth.

Bender:You idiot. I'm not a Cannon.

Bender:Huh. I guess I am a Cannon.

Professor:Huzzah! I've saved the Farnsworth name.

Fry:He has so much stuff. He won't miss this.

Fry:They had two burning, so I figured they wouldn't miss one.

Paul Revere:The British are coming. The British are coming. By land. By land. Gotta treat this OCD. Gotta treat this OCD.

Bender:Fry, you dope. You've really screwed the grannie this time.

Character:I guess everything worked out jolly all right, eh, governor?

Professor:Appears we've changed history too much. Disaster of nightmarish proportions and whatnot.

Character:Who's for tea and shmavouries?

British Character:The revolution? 1776 and what all? Oh, the colonial dustup.

Character:Turn on the tellyvisor, Dr. Zoidsmythe. I'll dial up the beeb. They've always got a nice docky-wocky on.

Narrator:all thanks to a nutter known as 'wrong-way revere.'

British soldier:But we came by sea, we did. Surprised the yanks at Lexington, ending the rebellion with nary a kipper scuffed.

Narrator:and bravely smothered him with his wig.

British character:Say, how is it that we've got socialized medicine, but me teeth still look like this?

Bender:Don't want to. Rather nice, living under the crown and so forth.

Professor · Queen:C-consort? That's right, love. Fer centuries, the Farnsworth gentlemen has provided service to the queen.

Queen:Now, close your eyes and think of england.

Queen:He crowned me in the knickers and nicked me crown.

British police:Or we'll be forced to continue chasing you, since we don't carry guns.

David Farnsworth:Hey, you're the plonkers what candlesticked me.

David Farnsworth:and now I'm married to one of the spice girls. Don't rightly know which one.

John Tyler:Even John Tyler. That's the first time anyone's spoken to me in 1,200 years.

Professor:from Chester A. Arthur to Chester Z. Arthur,