Naturama

Narrator:Brought to you by Mutual of Omicron. Insuring your world, and its destruction.

Fry:I'm born, baby!

Fry · Bender:What's your name? I don't have a name. I'm a salmon.

Professor:I do look forward to cavorting in the spray.

Amy:Let's all 10 of us go together. There's safety in numbers.

Zapp:I reckon my boy will be right pleased when I regurgitate that into his mouth.

Hermes:It sure is relaxing getting swept along by this current.

Various salmon:Oh, my! Oh, dear! Oh, yes!

Morbo:This just in. Three dead in foamy plunge.

Fry:Still, six out of 10 alive. That's considered good for our species!

Amy:Five out of 10, also nice.

Narrator:Except the salmon.

Two salmon:Really? Me, too! / No way!

Fry:So, hey, I don't want to be too forward, but I'd like to mate with you in a few years when we're sexually mature.

Amy:Also Pisces. We're all Pisces.

Zapp:You haven't ignored the last of me.

Professor:Nobody knows!

Leela:Okay, everybody do one of those three things.

Bender:I can tell by the magnets in my head, or whatever.

Amy · Professor:Stupid body! Why won't you go to that other stream? Nobody knows! I just told you!

Fry:I'll never forget you, fish.

Bender:Come on, foxy lady, it's time for us to get naughty by nature!

Bender:Son of a fish!

Zapp:Jumping is for suckers.

Bender · Bear:I'm good! Who wants a piece of me? I'll try a bite!

Salmon:Okay, who's next? There's a lot more where that came from!

Fry · Leela:I can't see them anymore! What if they're mating? Who cares? Just release your milt already!

Multiple salmon:I can't see them anymore! What if they're mating? / Who cares? Just release your milt already! / Everybody's doing it!

Fry:Tell my offspring I loved me very much...

Bender:Oh, yeah. Plop those roundies.

Lrrr:I am Brrr, devourer of fish and honey!

Ndnd:That is what you said when you found those Boy Scouts!

Lrrr:Next you'll be telling me I can't crap in the woods!

Narrator:And so the endless circle of life comes to an end, meaningless and grim. Why did they live, and why did they die? No reason.

Professor · Narrator:Also the blue-footed booby! That's fairly interesting! Note the blue coloration of the...

Professor:Sad news, everyone. I'm lonesome.

Zoidberg:Would it? Would it? Would it?

Professor:Hey, good lookin', I've got a lichen that needs a lickin'.

Professor:Talk about a cloaca shrinker.

Fry · Professor:It's only 100 feet! At my age, it might as well be 200 feet. I'd never make it!

Professor:Don't be such a finch.

Fry:I'm not Fry. I'm his great-great-grandson, Fry. You are? My beak is different, see? It evolved a slightly bigger hook over the generations to help me eat the cactus on this part of the island.

Fry:I'm stuck! Oops.

Hubert:Oh, my darling! You haven't aged a day!

Hubert:Oh, my darling! You haven't aged a day!

Finch:Should we say something? Nah. Let him have his fun.

Petunia:Who is that hard-shelled skank? I'll kill her!

Petunia:I'm going to crack that hussy open like a slutty Brazil nut!

Narrator:Like all reptiles, the Galapagos tortoise is cold-blooded.

Zoidberg · Amy:Should we be watching this? It seems kind of personal. That's not an issue for us. We're wildlife.

Zoidberg · Amy:Is it weird if I talk about his crazy turtle penis? No.

Professor:What do you want? I'm 150 years old.

Petunia:I sure as hell don't.

Baby tortoise:Mama!

Narrator:For, in the end, nature is horrific, and teaches us nothing.

Bender:Aw, yeah! Survival of the fattest!

Beachmaster:Aw, yeah! Survival of the fattest!

Bender:Whoo! I'm doin' it in my sleep!

Zoidberg:Hmm. I don't know, does this kelp scarf make me look fat enough?

Bender:I'm 40% ass! Arf, arf!

Walrus:No one ever goes walrus.

Deep sea creature:Kill all penguins... Kill all penguins.

Bender:Yeah, we can always make more. Come on, floozies, let's repopulate!

Fry:Hurray! We're three friends at the beach!

Beta male:When we're in charge, we'll treat females with respect, keeping sensible harems of no more than five.

Leela · Bender:He's been dead since yesterday! What? He's dead? Whoo! I'm killin' dudes in my sleep! Yo! Clean up!

Narrator:For a holographic brain injection of tonight's program, send $5 to this station, care of me, the narrator.