Paula's dating Larry's agent, but Larry fears he's just using her to book his clients on the show. The network objects to Larry's ethnic guest spots. Hank tries to stiff Phil on a $20 loan.
WAR
79.6
Wins Above Replacement
“Conflict of Interest” ranks #66 of 90 The Larry Sanders Show episodes on the Humor Index, scoring 84.9 — Elite. The episode packs 74 scored jokes at 3.0 per minute, averaging 7.2 on craft and 7.0 on impact, with Larry landing the most laughs. Every joke is ranked below with its individual craft and impact scores.
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Top Jokes
Paula · Larry: Hey, you... you didn't get back together with me just so you could get Jennifer Aniston back on the show, did you? / Of course not.
Paula Larry Irony/Sarcasm Misdirection ★ Rewatch Callback Larry: I had his sweet and sour chicken the other day, it was like hot pink. I think it's cough syrup. I swear to God.
Stevie Irony/Sarcasm Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Artie: Skiing in Aspen. The weather's so unpredictable this time of year when there's no snow.
Artie Irony/Sarcasm Deadpan/Understatement ★ Rewatch Callback Larry: but not a hillbilly from outer space
Larry Deadpan/Understatement Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Phil: What, is he only taking 10% of your love?
All Jokes — 74 analyzed
Show all ↓ Hide ↑ is he making this up as he goes along?
He's telling an American story.
I thought he was gonna do his hit.
I think he's doing his bong hit.
Larry: So my agent's fucking my booker?
Artie: Yes.
Larry: Oh, good to know.
Larry: but not a hillbilly from outer space
Larry Deadpan/Understatement Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Paula: Granted, he's no John tesh
Paula Character Comedy Irony/Sarcasm Larry: I love Sally, but I've seen miss struthers up here one more time this month.
Paula Irony/Sarcasm Observational Paula: Well, you know, my hooker days are over.
Stevie: Ha ha! You are the king! King Kong! Ha ha ha ha!
Artie Deadpan/Understatement Character Comedy Stevie: Which ones? The ones who can act.
Stevie: The little guy, the hyper guy? Mm-hmm. I don't think so. He's more of a conan o'brien act. Conan won't put him on.
Peng Lee: About American soldier push big elephant out of plane. Very funny.
Stevie Character Comedy Irony/Sarcasm ★ Rewatch Peng Lee: I give it 3 fortune... 4 fortune cookie. Highest rating.
Beverly: What is it with the Chinese guy? He's on once a week and he's not funny.
Hank: I know.
Beverly: Why don't you tell Larry?
Hank: I'm not gonna tell him.
Peng Lee: Very bad for hemorrhoid.
Paula: I can't do this with Larry watching me. It gives me the creeps.
Stevie: Doing it in front of my clients turns me on. I feel my power.
Peng Lee: Yeah, but I, uh, suspect lately our pork chop dishes, they suffer. Nobody order pork chop dishes.
Larry: Oh, man, this is hilarious, don't you think? Artie? Don't you think this is hilarious? It's terrific. I'm enjoying it.
Larry: Tell her to clean around me.
Larry Deadpan/Understatement Reaction Beat Larry: Yes, sweetie, I do. I'm an addict.
Stevie: Fuck him, he doesn't know. He's the one who swore ovitz wasn't leaving.
Stevie: This whole disney thing has everybody shitting bricks, pins, and party favors.
Larry Artie Irony/Sarcasm Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Callback Stevie: Of course not. I already told you I'm doing this for 5 years and then I'm getting out.
Paula: You're so deluded.
Stevie: OK. 8 years.
Beverly Deadpan/Understatement Character Comedy Stevie: That's just the kind of Hollywood bullshit that makes me want to Chuck it all and join the peace corps. Yeah? Big bad Ron, you piece of shit! How's it going? Oh, fuck you, asshole.
Larry: Letterman can send 2 guys from bangladesh around the world and we can't send one Chinese guy to the movies?
Dennis: That's a... a parody of an asian-American judge, prancing around with twinkle-toed dinner theater rejects.
Stevie Wordplay/Pun Character Comedy Oh, and by, Dennis, by twinkle-toed, I imply nothing about their sexuality.
Larry: I had his sweet and sour chicken the other day, it was like hot pink. I think it's cough syrup. I swear to God.
Stevie Irony/Sarcasm Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Artie: José jimenez was the first hispanic in space. Kids looked up to him. Well, he didn't actually go into space. That was just an act. Well, I believed it.
Dennis: Well, then, you'll have a lot of screaming Japs picketing outside the studio. Screaming asian-americans.
Dennis Irony/Sarcasm Deadpan/Understatement Hank: I sent Brian to the bank with my atm card, but I don't know what happened to him. He probably got sucked into some kind of parade.
Artie Deadpan/Understatement Irony/Sarcasm Callback Phil: What, is he only taking 10% of your love?
Stevie: I want it to continue the way that it is except with more fucking.
Artie Deadpan/Understatement Irony/Sarcasm Callback Stevie: Oh, my God, are you pregnant?
Paula: No, but it's nice to see what your reaction would be.
Paula: Oh, I'm sure he'd be so thrilled to hear about Ed begley Jr.'s fucking electric car.
Hank Character Comedy Misdirection Paula: she, uh, got a really bad cold and she can't make it.
Artie: I see, a cold.
Paula: Yeah, it's pretty serious.
Phil Hank Character Comedy Absurdist ★ Rewatch Paula: She was skiing in Aspen and she, uh, got a really bad cold / and she can't make it.
Artie: I see, a cold.
Paula: Yeah, it's pretty serious.
Hank Phil Character Comedy Callback ★ Rewatch Callback Artie: The weather's so unpredictable this time of year when there's no snow.
Andy Kindler: Well, maybe you don't recognize me 'cause I'm a comic who never gets on TV. And why? Well, basically, thanks to people like you, that's why.
Beverly Wordplay/Pun Character Comedy Hank: My advice? Pepper spray, and don't be afraid to use it.
Stevie: Jennifer sprained her ankle.
Larry: Really? You know, according to Paula, she mentioned to Artie that Jennifer has a head cold.
Larry: OK, Hank, give him the money.
Hank: What money?
Larry: Hey, there it is.
Hank: What are you... all you had to do was ask.
Hank: Prick.
Stevie Character Comedy Irony/Sarcasm Stevie: I walk around in my Italian suit all day like I'm on top of the world, but I'm a fake! And if I stop pretending for a second, I fall apart 'cause I'm terrified! I don't know what the fuck I'm doing.
Larry: Tell her about the suit.
Stevie Character Comedy Deadpan/Understatement Paula: He is lame. Everybody in town thinks so. He's not funny.
Stevie: Larry is the gorilla. He's huge, talent-wise.
Stevie Character Comedy Deadpan/Understatement Hank: Larry's the king, man. King Kong!
Larry: Ha ha ha ha! What does that mean?
Hank: Where does an 800-pound gorilla sleep?
Hank: Anywhere he wants to.
Larry: I don't get it.
Jennifer Aniston: Um, I'm... gosh, but I can't really think of anything I'd like to ask you at the moment. If I come up with something, I'll ask you later.
Paula: Hey, you... you didn't get back together with me just so you could get Jennifer aniston back on the show, did you?
Stevie: Of course not.
unnamed booker · Artie: Um, she was skiing in Aspen and she, uh, got a really bad cold and she can't make it. / I see, a cold. / Yeah, it's pretty serious. / Yes, it is.
Artie · unnamed booker: You know how Larry's gonna feel when he hears about this? / Do we have to tell him?
Artie: Larry introduces the guest. They come out, they sit down. When that doesn't happen, Larry knows that something's wrong. Without a guest, Larry will sit here with his thumb up his ass.
Artie Character Comedy Deadpan/Understatement Artie: Skiing in Aspen. The weather's so unpredictable this time of year when there's no snow.
Artie Irony/Sarcasm Deadpan/Understatement ★ Rewatch Callback Andy Kindler · Beverly: I'm Andy Kindler. / Oh, my God, Andy. I'm sorry I didn't recognize you. / Well, maybe you don't recognize me 'cause I'm a comic who never gets on TV. And why? Well, basically, thanks to people like you, that's why.
Paula · Beverly: Andy, do you know Beverly? / Mmm... excuse me. / I'm gonna go and eat up the rest of my cookie.
Paula · Andy Kindler: Listen, I don't make the final decisions around here, OK? / Oh, well, that's just bullshit. / Um, you know, maybe I could look at your tape again, if you want to leave it... with me.
Phil · Hank: Hank, listen, I can't find Brian. / Well, join the club. / Do you have the money you owe me? / What money? / The $20 that I loaned you this morning. / Oh, right. See Brian about that.
Phil Hank Character Comedy Running Gag ★ Rewatch Callback Phil · Hank: Hank, I can't find Brian, OK? That was my last $20, and I can't go to the cash machine after dark because I get mugged. / My advice? Pepper spray, and don't be afraid to use it.
Phil Hank Character Comedy Deadpan/Understatement Stevie · unnamed person: Jennifer sprained her ankle. / Really? You know, according to Paula, she mentioned to Artie that Jennifer has a head cold.
Stevie: I walk around in my Italian suit all day like I'm on top of the world, but I'm a fake! And if I stop pretending for a second, I fall apart 'cause I'm terrified! I don't know what the fuck I'm doing.
Stevie Cringe/Discomfort Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Paula · Stevie · Larry: Oh, are you upset about what happened? / Yeah. / Oh, now you're gonna get me upset. / Tell her about the suit. / Paula, I'm terrified. I built up these walls inside me, and I'm sorry, it's so hard for me to open up. / What about the suit?
Artie · Larry · Paula: May I interrupt? / A Mr. Chen from the Asian-American Anti-Defamation League would like to talk to you about Peng Lee. / Is that the movie critic guy? / I wanted to say it, but I was afraid to, but he is lame. Everybody in town thinks so. He's not funny. / What do you think?
Artie · Larry · Paula: Well, I think we oughta tell this, uh, pain in the ass from the anti-defamation league that we think that the remote is detrimental to the Asian community. / Yeah. It is. / It's smart. Good press. Right. Exactly.
Larry: Peng Lee, Safeway. / Look how they fucked up their lives.
Larry Dark/Subversive Deadpan/Understatement Jennifer Aniston · Larry: I got a last-minute phone call to do the show, then I get a phone call saying I'm not doing the show, then another phone call saying I am doing the show. / But, sweetie, you're here now and we couldn't be happier.
Larry · Jennifer Aniston: Look at me. / Well, I certainly wouldn't be able to tell by the way I was treated today.
Larry · Jennifer Aniston: You got the Tiffany frame, didn't you? / Well, the only reason I'm doing this is because I'm dating Eddie. / Who's Eddie? / Eddie Ring, our sound man.
Larry · Artie: Oh. You know, we also have a guy working on the show who's just a grip who's dating Sandra Bullock. / Donnie Padilla. He's in People magazine. He gets excited about that kind of stuff.
Hank: What's this about a Tiffany frame?
Hank Character Comedy Reaction Beat Larry: These are all, uh... are you all, uh, fans of Friends?
Larry Character Comedy Awkward Silence Larry · Jennifer Aniston: Do you spend time with any one of them in particular off-camera? More than... yes, is one of them more than just a pen pal? / Well, wait, it's Friends. I meant friends.
Hank · Jennifer Aniston · Larry: Larry's the king, man. King Kong! Ha ha ha ha! What does that mean? / Where does an 800-pound gorilla sleep? / Anywhere he wants to. / I don't get it. / Larry is the gorilla. He's huge, talent-wise.
Larry · Jennifer Aniston: What would you like to ask us? / Um, I'm... gosh, but I can't really think of anything I'd like to ask you at the moment. / If I come up with something, I'll ask you later. / Well, you're more than welcome to, uh, call in.
Larry · Artie: Jennifer Aniston is doing so well. We got to get her back right away. / Yeah.
Paula · Larry: Hey, you... you didn't get back together with me just so you could get Jennifer Aniston back on the show, did you? / Of course not.
Paula Larry Irony/Sarcasm Misdirection ★ Rewatch Callback Top Episodes — The Larry Sanders Show
