Larry scrambles to make some money after his accountant admits he's lost all of Larry's funds. Artie and Hank set out to teach the guy a lesson.
WAR
29.8
Wins Above Replacement
“Brother, Can You Spare 1.2 Million?” ranks #63 of 90 The Larry Sanders Show episodes on the Humor Index, scoring 73.2 — Solid. The episode packs 48 scored jokes at 2.0 per minute, averaging 6.6 on craft and 6.6 on impact, with Larry landing the most laughs. Every joke is ranked below with its individual craft and impact scores.
Get weekly comedy rankings
Join comedy fans getting new analyses, score drops, and the funniest moments each week. Free, no spam.
Top Jokes
Larry: There's no trellis at his new house. There's a trellis at his old house... not at his new house... the one on Benedict canyon that he just moved into.
Larry Escalation Cringe/Discomfort ★ Rewatch Callback Larry: I fired my accountant this week because evidently, he invested my money in a company that had plans to install tampon dispensers at the citadel.
Larry Observational Absurdist ★ Rewatch Hank: Ha! Not now there ain't.
Hank Deadpan/Understatement Reaction Beat ★ Rewatch Callback Larry: Yeah. Listen, this doesn't have a happy ending, does it, Phil?
Phil: No. I'm sorry.
Larry Phil Deadpan/Understatement Meta/Self-Referential Larry: Then let's go with the cheaper one because, uh, why waste the money?
Larry Callback Irony/Sarcasm ★ Rewatch Callback All Jokes — 48 analyzed
Show all ↓ Hide ↑ Hank: I was almost killed on the way here. I'm on the 101, and all of a sudden the entire cast of miss Saigon comes out of nowhere and tries to sideswipe me.
Hank Absurdist Observational ★ Rewatch Hank: These asians... I mean, they must have a deal with the dmv. They... they keep getting the licenses.
Hank Character Comedy Cringe/Discomfort Hank: Oh, it's an aids thing, right?
Larry: Oh, you know about it?
Hank: No, but it's always an aids thing.
Larry Hank Observational Deadpan/Understatement ★ Rewatch Hank: Well, how does a dollar a mile sound?
Larry: 20 whole dollars. Can a cure be far behind?
Larry: Happy to. How's 20 bucks a mile?
Hank: Oh, that's great. That's $400.
Larry: What is the cause, aids? Yeah, make it 25.
Larry: It'd be nice to get some from a woman occasionally, wouldn't it?
Larry Cringe/Discomfort Character Comedy Artie: A few seconds ago, I saw Meg Ryan's head floating above my credenza.
Artie Absurdist Observational ★ Rewatch Larry: No, my... my interior designer's named bryn mawr.
Beverly: Oh, uh, no, Bob told me he makes a lot more money using that name.
Beverly: Well, he said this one is from portugal, so it'll cost you 6,000 extra.
Artie: Heh. Iordy, I did some grand humping in portugal. I got a mysterious itch in lisbon.
Larry: You know, it's getting more and more difficult to pretend you're not here.
Larry Deadpan/Understatement Character Comedy Callback Larry: Well, let's go with the one from portugal. Because, you know, if I get the cheaper one, then I'm always gonna think there's a better tile in portugal.
Larry Character Comedy Observational ★ Rewatch I don't know what you've heard about us, Mr... bobo.
Bobo: Mr. Bobo.
Bobo: No, just bobo.
All right, I can see what's going on. You're one of those clowns who's always on.
Unknown Observational Meta/Self-Referential [Water spraying sound] Oh! There you go. Jesus Christ.
Larry: Is it me, or does this suck?
Larry: I mean, I hate this sketch.
Hank: Yeah. So do I.
Larry Hank Meta/Self-Referential Deadpan/Understatement ★ Rewatch You must get laid a lot, huh?
Bobo: It's the shoe thing, you know? The kick size, dick size.
Bobo: Yeah, these are bruno maglis size 112.
Larry: How much, Frank?
Frank: Uh, a double, I guess, please.
Larry: I mean, how much is left?
Frank: I told you that it would like this in the fourth quarter.
Larry: No, you didn't.
Frank: Yeah, I did. L... when we were at the Ivy...
Larry: no.
Frank: I warned you when you were...
Larry: yes, when you were tipping the valet.
Frank: No, you didn't.
Frank: I don't drink.
Larry: Well, you just asked me for a drink.
Frank: I don't think that's the case.
Larry: You just asked me for a drink.
Frank Larry Absurdist Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Callback Larry: Are you an idiot? Answer me. Answer me, you stupid shit. Are you an idiot? / Get the fuck out of the office!
Larry Escalation Character Comedy Frank: What the fuck's the matter with him today?
Frank Irony/Sarcasm Reaction Beat ★ Rewatch Hank: It's been over 3 hours, and the man hasn't moved a muscle. Something tells me we won't be doing a show tonight.
Hank Deadpan/Understatement Observational Hank: Between my fucking ex-wife and the... and the ponies, I'm lucky if I can swing postage.
Hank Character Comedy Observational Hank: You're gonna be wiping your ass with $100 bills.
Hank Cringe/Discomfort Character Comedy Larry: You fucker. Don't ever do that to me again.
Larry Reaction Beat Character Comedy Artie: I'll go over there and bounce that little fucker out the window.
Artie: What? Ha ha. Just kidding.
Artie: You know, but I do know a couple of guys who can be helpful... one quick phone call.
Artie Escalation Dark/Subversive ★ Rewatch Larry: I fired my accountant this week because evidently, he invested my money in a company that had plans to install tampon dispensers at the citadel.
Larry Observational Absurdist ★ Rewatch Larry: I just found out my accountant has a 3-tiered system, actually, win, place, and show.
Larry Wordplay/Pun Observational Paula: And about the walkathon, you don't have to feel obligated to...
Larry: Paula, come on. I'm not destitute, for God's sake.
Paula Larry Irony/Sarcasm Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Callback Larry: How much was it?
Paula: I think it was 25 doll... you know what? It was $10 a mile.
Larry: That's fine.
Paula: It was $5.00 a mile.
Larry: If it's $5.00 a mile, that's fine.
Larry Paula Escalation Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Callback Larry: That would be your uncle?
Phil: Yeah. That's right. Ah. Mm-hmm.
Larry: Yeah. Listen, this doesn't have a happy ending, does it, Phil?
Phil: No. I'm sorry.
Larry Phil Deadpan/Understatement Meta/Self-Referential Phil: God, I suck at cheering people up.
Phil Deadpan/Understatement Character Comedy Hank: We got him back for you. We nailed him. The two us, Artie and me. That little cocksucker Frank is down. It was beautiful.
Hank Escalation Character Comedy Callback Artie: It's a trellis. It's a trellis. / And this trellis... this is a gorgeous trellis. It's just... just gorgeous. And we stood there. We admired it for quite a while. Then I burned it down.
Hank: Ha! Not now there ain't.
Hank Deadpan/Understatement Reaction Beat ★ Rewatch Callback Larry: There's no trellis at his new house. There's a trellis at his old house... not at his new house... the one on Benedict canyon that he just moved into.
Larry Escalation Cringe/Discomfort ★ Rewatch Callback Hank: You know, when that asian woman came out of the house screaming, I just thought she was the housekeeper.
Hank Cringe/Discomfort Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Callback Stevie: 9 shows a night, every half hour. You know, it's like vaudeville days.
Larry: Is the car gonna be a compact, also?
Larry Observational Irony/Sarcasm Callback Larry: I like it. / I like it. Hot in the summer. Heh.
Larry Deadpan/Understatement Character Comedy Frank: I got a drinking problem. For the last 2 years, I've been off and on antidepressants. I hate my life, Larry.
Frank Cringe/Discomfort Character Comedy Larry: So this is 5% of what I lost?
Frank: Well, more or less.
Larry: Where's the rest?
Frank: Well, I'm working on it, man.
Frank: But for now... we're square, right?
Larry: What do you mean, we're square, Frank?
Beverly: These are the chins. Uh, edward and allison. And edward's mother, whose name I'm not gonna even try to pronounce.
Beverly Cringe/Discomfort Character Comedy Callback Larry: I'm so sorry about the Margaret cho show.
Larry Meta/Self-Referential Observational ★ Rewatch Larry: Then let's go with the cheaper one because, uh, why waste the money?
Larry Callback Irony/Sarcasm ★ Rewatch Callback Apparently, some nut drove up on the sidewalk and ran over his foot.
Beverly Dark/Subversive Irony/Sarcasm ★ Rewatch Callback Top Episodes — The Larry Sanders Show
