With Thornhill ahead in the polls, Selina and her staff discuss how to make her more "folksy." In need of a job, Jonah meets with Bill Ericsson. Selina has an interview with pretentious journalist Quincy Carter.
Wordplay carries a middling episode as cringe takes backseat to character comedy.
Directed by Chris Addison · Written by Simon Blackwell, Georgia Pritchett
WAR
40.3
Wins Above Replacement
“Crate” ranks #62 of 65 Veep episodes on the Humor Index, scoring 71.1 — Solid. The episode packs 74 scored jokes at 2.4 per minute, averaging 6.8 on craft and 6.3 on impact, with Selina landing the most laughs. Every joke is ranked below with its individual craft and impact scores.
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Top Jokes
He has his head so up his ass, he can wave out his mouth.
Selina Escalation Wordplay/Pun ★ Rewatch You know what VP stands for? It stands for 'Victory Permafucked.'
Selina Wordplay/Pun Dark/Subversive ★ Rewatch sometimes through no fault of your own, it's just one... disaster after another disaster.
Selina Irony/Sarcasm Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Do you want to... No, I like standing up here and looking down at everybody.
Selina Character Comedy ★ Rewatch They all call me a dick behind my back. But, like, right behind my back so I can hear them.
Jonah Character Comedy Cringe/Discomfort All Jokes — 74 analyzed
Show all ↓ Hide ↑ Let's take our shirts off and work up a sweat.
Listen to this idiot. They're not even sound bites. They're just sounds.
Selina Observational Wordplay/Pun ★ Rewatch I mean, he cornholed us in Iowa.
Well, that's appropriate. It's the corn state.
And please downplay them so I don't cry.
Selina Character Comedy Cringe/Discomfort She is downplaying them, ma'am.
Mike Reaction Beat Deadpan/Understatement I'm normal. I can be so folksy. Doing the folksy thing with... folks.
Selina Character Comedy Cringe/Discomfort ★ Rewatch Remember when we only had five days left? Those were good times. Great times.
Yeah, and I can't throw a ball, Mike. I'll look like Gary here.
Thank you.
Gary Reaction Beat Cringe/Discomfort Great idea. Talk some real vote meat. Rub with a schlub. That kind of thing.
That's a good point. Nothing says 'regular American' like standing on a street corner shouting at strangers.
What, are you David Coppercock?
Wow, it's a box inside of a box. Jesus! Oh, it's a crate.
Okay, for two grand, you don't get a call from me. Okay? Just send him a button or something.
You know, they accuse you of not thinking outside the box, but I do think outside the box. You know what else I do? I stand on top of a box.
Selina Wordplay/Pun Character Comedy I don't blame her. Imagine being married to that guy. I wouldn't put up with that shit for a second.
Do you want to... No, I like standing up here and looking down at everybody.
Selina Character Comedy ★ Rewatch I want to hear what you see. And I wanna see what you feel.
Selina Character Comedy Cringe/Discomfort because if I don't communicate, guys, I communi-can't.
Selina Wordplay/Pun Cringe/Discomfort Seriously, you do me better than I do me. You do yourself a lot.
It's like a chicken came in your mouth.
People can smell the stench of death and they're running for the lifeboats. Really? Women and tall, talented men first.
Dan Escalation Wordplay/Pun You've got no skills. Your uncle controls a lot of votes, sure. But you? If you tried to clap, you'd miss your hands.
Dan Setup/Punchline ★ Rewatch Boom, Isabella Herrera. Boom, Liz Graham. Ace up the sleeve... booya... Ally Craig.
Jonah Escalation Character Comedy Take your crazy eggs, stick 'em up your ass.
Meanwhile, I can now confidently spread the story that the Maddox camp is hemorrhaging like a burst dog.
Dan Wordplay/Pun Dark/Subversive Just try to make it look like a regular crate, Gary, not Thor's hammer.
Oh, God. That Dickensian shitstack?
She thinks it looks folksy, but she really looks like Dustin Hoffman on a crate.
I gotta go make noises out of my face hole or whatever it is I do.
If I could lift the fucking crate, I'd beat him to death with it.
Selina Escalation Callback Callback Otherwise she's gonna hang herself from the nearest light fixture.
They all call me a dick behind my back. But, like, right behind my back so I can hear them.
Jonah Character Comedy Cringe/Discomfort God, I wish I had a dirty bomb.
Jonah Dark/Subversive Escalation You don't have to fuck him, Mom. You just have to call him.
So, change it to Hitler?
Selina Reaction Beat Cringe/Discomfort Oh, God, yes, you can... be.
Neil Diamond gave the same answer.
Quincy Absurdist Character Comedy Siri, why does God allow suffering?
He has his head so up his ass, he can wave out his mouth.
Selina Escalation Wordplay/Pun ★ Rewatch GUMMI... Give Us More Money, Idiot.
I always call them dicks. It doesn't stand for anything.
Dan Deadpan/Understatement Delete it. It knows too much.
Don't know. Birmingham. Have you heard of Birmingham?
Gary Cringe/Discomfort Character Comedy No, the light bulb's fine, see?
Selina Misdirection Character Comedy A bit of a bitch. Be a little feisty.
She does drugs. She's got that tattoo...
How do you not just punch yourself in the face?
How do you not just punch yourself in the face?
may want to reflect on how its tightfisted idiocy is mocked by the woman on the $1,200 crate.
You know what VP stands for? It stands for 'Victory Permafucked.'
Selina Wordplay/Pun Dark/Subversive ★ Rewatch Every motherfucking one of you. Loser! Loser!
Selina Escalation Cringe/Discomfort Take your lithium, jag-offs.
Let's find us a house, Wendy, where we can keep ducks. For us and the ducks.
sometimes through no fault of your own, it's just one... disaster after another disaster.
Selina Irony/Sarcasm Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Kind of, in a way, and also not. And in a third way both.
Kent Character Comedy Absurdist ★ Rewatch Ma'am, we're America. We're always at war.
Kent Observational Deadpan/Understatement ★ Rewatch Where is he... Yeah, 'cause doesn't he have to move? Well, yeah, but does he have a house?
Gary Character Comedy Cringe/Discomfort When I get excited, my nose bleeds!
Gary Character Comedy Physical/Slapstick Why is there a bicycle book?
I was gonna raise ducks.
Mike Callback Deadpan/Understatement Callback gosh, good luck with all of your terrible troubles and, um, welcome to America.
That's what all the chicks say.
Ben Character Comedy Cringe/Discomfort This is better than any of the sex I've ever had. I mean, almost any of it.
Someone has just flown two planes into my career.
Buy yourself a gun, Mom, because America's gonna have to shoot its way out of this.
Jonah Escalation Dark/Subversive I'm gonna be the fucking president.
