When Aliens Attack

Fry · Leela:- Wow! So this is a real TV station? - Well, it's a Fox affiliate.

Fry:That's a chick show. I prefer programs of the genre "World's Blankiest Blank."

Bender · Fry:- She's in the world's shortiest skirt. - I'm in.

Jenny McNeal:If you care about the case, you should sleep with me.

Jenny McNeal · Judge:- But this is a unisex bathroom! - Overruled, counselor.

Leela · Bender:- My God! You knocked Fox off the air. - Like anyone on Earth cares.

Alien:Could you repeat that last p-?

Alien:...and her compellingly short garment!

Hermes:The phony-baloney holiday crammed down our throats by union gangsters?

Fry:It's HDTV. It has better resolution than the real world.

Fry · Leela:- Not covered. - Just get in the car.

Professor:In the 2600s, New Yorkers elected a villainous governor. He stole most of the world's monuments.

Professor:Truly a great man. Look at him up there.

Bender:Like my dad used to make, until McDonald's fired him.

Bender:Bite my red-hot glowing ass! Wait a minute. Red-hot glowing ass? I'll be right back.

Professor · Amy:- Like a cheap French harlot. - French?

Beach Bully:I pretend to steal your girl, you punch me, I go down... she swoons, you slip me 50 bucks.

Fry:$50?! Not even if she was my girlfriend. Take her.

Beach Bully:No, thanks, ma'am. I'm actually gay.

Zoidberg:You gotta spring me! I won't survive in here! I'm too pretty!

Professor:King Arthur would've lived in it if he were a fiddler crab.

Professor:...they forced the most intelligent of us to pair off and mate continuously.

Amy:Oh, yes.

News Anchor:Once again, today's winning lotto number was four.

President McNeal:Get down on all fours and lick boot. Give our alien masters whatever they-

Lrrr:Is this thing on?

President McNeal:...fresh from his bloody triumph over the Gandhi Nebula pacifists...

Bender:Look, it's that idiotic windbag you slept with.

Professor · Bender:- A what? - You know. A coward.

Bender:It's every robot's duty to give his life for humanity. Oh, crap.

Zapp Brannigan:But I don't care if your skin's red or tan or Chinese.

Zapp Brannigan:If we hit that bull's-eye... the rest of the dominoes will fall like a house of cards. Checkmate.

Zapp Brannigan:My strategy is so simple an idiot could have devised it.

Leela:Wouldn't it make more sense to send the robots in first-?

Zapp Brannigan:When I'm in command, son, every mission's a suicide mission.

Leela:We should wait till after, in case neither of us comes back.

Leela:I'll be a science-fiction hero, like Uhura or Captain Janeway or Xena.

Fry:Sure. I just like TV better.

Zapp · Kif · Zapp · Kif:- What is that? - It appears to be the mother ship. - Then what did we just blow up? - The Hubble Telescope.

Zapp Brannigan:Stop exploding, you cowards!

Professor:Sorry. Check back in three days. A week at the most.

Fry · Lrrr:- Miniskirts? That sounds familiar. - Really?

Fry · Lrrr:- Wait, I know her. - You do not, you big fat liar.

Professor · Fry:- You see- - Magic. Got it.

Bender:Beer. I would think.

Professor:Most videotapes from that era were damaged in 2443... during the second coming of Jesus.

Professor:Let's put on a show!

Amy:Plus, you don't have the thighs for a miniskirt.

Lrrr:If she wants to be taken seriously, why not tear the judge's head off?

Lrrr:It is true what they say. Women are from Persei Seven. Men are from Persei Nine.

Fry:It took an hour to write. I thought it'd take an hour to read.

Fry:Clever things make people feel stupid. Unexpected things make them feel scared.

Fry:Deep down I knew it might one day help me save the world.

Lrrr:Overall, I would rate it a C-Plus. Okay, not great.

Leela:Way to overact, Zoidberg.

Lrrr:Now we must return to our planet... to catch a 1000-year-old Leno monologue.

Fry:At the end of the episode, everything is right back to normal.