Anthology Of Interest Ii

Bender:Being a robot's great, but we don't have emotions... and sometimes that makes me very sad.

Professor:Oh, Lordy Lou, there he goes again! Well, let's give baby what he wants.

Professor:I've already tested it by turning the toaster into a raccoon.

Professor:Kind of gamy.

Hermes:Cover your shame, mon!

Professor:It worked! Eat it, everyone who's never won a Nobel Prize! And that includes you, Amy.

Bender:Nah, it just moved. I'm not getting good reception on it, though.

Bender · Hermes:Maybe if I wiggle it around... No! You'll make God cry!

Professor:Hooray! It's just like Mardi Gras.

Bender:Come into the bathroom and look at this! You won't believe it!

Leela:Bender, it's okay to be proud, but don't be a showoff.

Amy · Bender:You look a lot better than you used to. You're not so bad yourself, big boy.

Bender:Hey, that felt great! Nah, it's not working anymore.

Amy:Speak for yourself.

Bender:You drank and smoked as a robot. But now it's bad for me! Woo!

Bender:Why didn't anyone tell me tasting things tasted so good?

Bender:What's going on? That rhythm, it's doing something to my human butt!

Bender:I bet I can eat nachos and go to the bathroom at the same time!

Bender:Goodbye moderation!

Professor:As I've said before, I used reverse fossilization... which is the reverse of regular, uh, eh...

Professor:Ah! Then without further stalling for time, I present to the Nobel judges...

Doctor:Pulse, 300. Liver, failing. Cholesterol, 40? Well, that's not so bad. No, I mean 40 pounds!

Bender:Come here and give old Bender a kiss.

Bender:Hey, you like grilled cheese?

Nobel Judge:Not only do you not deserve a Nobel Prize... for loosing this man-ball upon the world... but you are hereby kicked out of the Academy of Science!

Professor:Wait! As men of science, are not your minds open to new ideas?

Nobel Judge:Young man, you've opened our minds and swayed our hearts. Let us therefore... Party!

Professor · Amy:He's dead. When did he die? About twelve hours ago when the party started. But he just said 'Woo!' No, that was air escaping from the folds of his fat.

Bender:Woo!

Professor:Let's get him out of here. He's starting to smell up the joint.

Bender:Woo! Woo! Woo!

Fry:I'm good at video games and bad at everything else. I wish life was like a video game.

Fry:Can you say that as a question? What if that thing I said?

Fry:Wait. I know that monkey! His name is Donkey!

Nixon:Monkeys aren't donkeys. Quit messing with my head!

Italian General:Mama Mia! The cruel meatball of war has rolled onto our laps... and ruined our white pants of peace!

Fry:I spent all of ninth grade studying them... except the day my eyeballs started to bleed, and in my opinion...

Fry:Delicious! Just like stale marshmallows!

Amy:Hey, watch out! Uh-oh! Oh, my God! He ate Fry! Fry is dead!

Fry:It's okay! I had another guy!

Fry:All right. It's Saturday night. I have no date, a two-liter bottle of Shasta... and my all-Rush mix tape. Let's rock!

Lrrr:He's a madman! A madman!

Zapp:No! Amy, tend to the Widow Packman.

Fry:One ship is left only! Come on, Fry! Get it! It's moving too fast! I could never get the last one! My brother always got it for me!

Lrrr:You are defeated! Instead of shooting where I was, you should have shot where I was going!

Lrrr:All your base are belong to us.

Lrrr:Quarters! A million allowances worth of quarters! No slugs or tokens!

Lrrr · Leela:Fork them over! Forget it, you pixelated pirates! We need quarters to do our laundry!

Lrrr:But space invaders need to do laundry, too. Look at Donkey Kong. Have you smelled his loincloth?

Person:Yes. Go away!

Lrrr:What if we put our laundry in with yours? Would that be okay?

Leela · Lrrr:I guess so. Okay, that settles that. But if this cape shrinks, consider your species extinct!

Machine/Professor:Amy. I mean Leela.

Leela · Bender:As an alien who was abandoned on Earth... I've never really belonged anywhere. Boo-hoo! Ow!

Leela:Jeez, apparently the phrase 'Tone it down' doesn't exist on this planet.

Leela:Oh, no! We hit someone! Quick, back into the ship! Nice boots.

Munchkins · Leela:Look, everyone! She killed the Man-Witch of the West! A witch? That explains how these boots magically appeared on my feet! No, you stole them. We saw you!

Leela:Well, it's hard to find shoes that fit me.

Leela:Who are you people? Haven't I seen you in some copyrighted movie?

Munchkins:We resemble but are legally distinct from the Lollypop Guild, the Lollypop...

Munchkin:You mean that Yellow Brick Road? The city council re-named it in 1975.

Amy · Leela:Those are great shoes! Oh, thank you. Do they come in women's sizes?

Fry · Leela:'Then, the car honked its own horn!' A talking scarecrow. Want to come with us to see the Professor?

Leela · Fry:He might give you a brain. Hey! That's not nice to say.

Zoidberg:Are you off to see the Professor? 'Cause I could use a heart. A human heart. I need to pump a lot of blood out of my basement.

Hermes:And I'm the other guy. Courage. Not enough of it. Need some from what's-his-name.

Mom:Fly, my stupids! Fly out and get them! You promised you'd bake monkey cake today! By 'monkey cake,' I meant your ass!

Bender:We've been skipping for hours. I need to pull over and take 'The Wiz.'

Bender:What, do I smell or something?

Mom:Here's why I brought you, you twice-baked barf bags! I've always wanted a daughter to love. You want to get adopted, you skank?

Leela:Live here and be a witch like you? Yeah. As long as I get to hurt people... and not just dance at the equinox.

Mom:I'm melting! Oh! Who would have thought a small amount of liquid would ever fall on me?

Leela:Well, no point letting her go to waste.

Professor · Hermes:I want to see them! It's nobody! Now, sign that will.

Hermes:Nothing! But if you have extra courage, I'd haul it away for you maybe?

Professor:After all, who needs courage when you have a gun?

Hermes:Now, world. You put your hands up!

Fry:This is a stickup! Give me the bag, old man!

Professor:Here you go, my friend. 5000 Professor Land fun bucks!

Fry:Oh, crap.

Professor:Nonsense. Click your big honking boots together three times... and wish to go home to Kansas... to live with your dirt-farming, teetotaling aunt and uncle.

Leela:There's no place like... I want to be a witch!

Leela · Janitor:Oh, no! Help! What's happening? Uh, sorry. I think there's a problem with your upstairs toilet.

Leela · Professor:I was having a wonderful dream. Except you were there. And you. And you. Never mind, she came to.