Hermes inherits a Jamaican coffee farm that holds the ruins of an ancient spaceship.
WAR
50.7
Wins Above Replacement
“Planet Espresso” ranks #78 of 137 Futurama episodes on the Humor Index, scoring 77.4 — Great. The episode packs 68 scored jokes at 3.7 per minute, averaging 6.9 on craft and 6.6 on impact, with Hermes landing the most laughs. Every joke is ranked below with its individual craft and impact scores.
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Top Jokes
Hermes: This is more important than you know, but I'll be home soon, son.
Hermes Irony/Sarcasm Callback ★ Rewatch Callback Alien: We're aliens, not perverts!
Alien Setup/Punchline Absurdist ★ Rewatch Hermes: But now, all I want to say to you is... I'm good at this!
Hermes Misdirection Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Hermes' Father: How low can it go? Not this low!
Alien Commander: Thanks to the holy bean, humanity will soon be elevated to its final subjugation.
Standout Moments
Alien: We're aliens, not perverts!
Alien Setup/Punchline Absurdist ★ Rewatch Hermes: This is more important than you know, but I'll be home soon, son.
Hermes Irony/Sarcasm Callback ★ Rewatch Callback Hermes: But now, all I want to say to you is... I'm good at this!
Hermes Misdirection Character Comedy ★ Rewatch All Jokes — 68 analyzed
Show all ↓ Hide ↑ Leela: Singing hologram for Hermes Conrad? Ooh! Fun!
Leela Reaction Beat Irony/Sarcasm ★ Rewatch Singing Hologram: Oh, rats. I'll just say it. Your father's on his deathbed in Jamaica.
Fry: Sorry about your pops, Pops. I didn't realize you had a pops.
Fry Wordplay/Pun Character Comedy Hermes' Father: How low can it go? Not this low!
Young Hermes: Not the jungle, Daddy! There's green snakeses in there!
Hermes: But the miserable cruff never did come back.
Hermes Character Comedy Wordplay/Pun Fry · Leela: Exotic Jamaican crop? - It could be anything. - Step on it, Leela!
Fry: I hope it's pumpkins.
Fry Character Comedy Callback Callback Fry: Uh... Pumpkins. Medicinal pumpkins.
Fry Callback Escalation ★ Rewatch Callback Local Guide: I'd say much better than his own children!
Hermes: There you are, ya low-down licky-licky harbor shark!
Hermes Character Comedy Escalation ★ Rewatch Badrick: Hang on, I gotta put my hearin' aids in... and turn them on.
Badrick Physical/Slapstick Escalation Badrick: Oops, these my reading glasses. Is there something I'll have to read?
Badrick Physical/Slapstick Escalation Hermes · Badrick: Yeah, my lips! Mmm. Then I'll need my regular glasses.
Badrick Deadpan/Understatement Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Rastafarian: Though I and I never saw eye-to-eye with him and him, I daren't speak ill of the dead, so, that's all I got.
Bender: Forty percent steel, baby!
Bender Character Comedy Callback Callback Rastafarian: Now, to honor Badrick's last cuckoo banana wishes, he gonna be buried in a burlap coffee sack.
Professor: I feel the same way. You've been a father to me.
Professor: Good thing I always carry my pocket gravedigger. At my age, you never know when you'll need it.
Professor Dark/Subversive Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Professor: No, let's wait until I'm older.
Professor: Sweet UFO of Tupelo! It's a spaceship! And not of this Earth. It must have come from space.
Leela: More amazing than the fact you licked the drippings off an alien rocket pipe?
Leela Cringe/Discomfort Reaction Beat Professor: Stop calling everything 'weird.' You should get out more.
Professor: All of the world's most important sandal-wearing cultures!
Professor: If you come across their half-and-half, don't open it.
Leela: Coffee? Stop tasting stuff!
Leela Escalation Reaction Beat Leela: You drank it? Gross!
Leela Cringe/Discomfort Reaction Beat Professor · Fry: I'm seeing every color of the coffee rainbow! Me, too! It's a double mocha hallucaccino!
Fry: No way, man. We're just whacked out of our gourds!
Fry Character Comedy Wordplay/Pun Alien: The first and only good use of tea.
Alien Observational Deadpan/Understatement Alien Pilot: Mayday! Mayday! Coffee crotch!
Leela · Professor: People will think we're crazy. Crazier!
Hermes: Sorry, it's cold, but that's how you serve revenge.
Hermes Wordplay/Pun Dark/Subversive ★ Rewatch Fry · Professor: Maybe we could plant them. We're alive! Oh, you flatter me.
LaBarbara: That way, if he's still alive, he can hack his way out.
LaBarbara Dark/Subversive Deadpan/Understatement ★ Rewatch LaBarbara: It takes you an hour to make instant. Zing!
Fry: Don't we deliver things, or something?
Fry Meta/Self-Referential Character Comedy Bender: Light, medium, and, bendissimo!
Bender Wordplay/Pun Character Comedy Kyle MacLachlan: Ah. That's a damn fine bath of coffee.
Bender: Outta my ways, Kwisatz Haderachses. Fill'ers up, coffee jerk!
Bender Character Comedy Wordplay/Pun Amy: Meaning a half-caf, teeny-weeny-mocha-cheenie with a plop-top of froth foam and do not even think of whipping that dollop.
Amy Character Comedy Escalation Amy: Because you look like a dollop-whipper.
Amy Escalation Character Comedy Hermes: I've got the energy of 10 fiddler crabs.
Hermes Character Comedy Absurdist ★ Rewatch Customer · Fry: Ow! It's almost boiling. What room is that temperature? This one, sugarpuss. 'Cause you're heating it up right now.
Scruffy: If it's my faults the Earth rotates, then it's the Earth's faults I did thises!
Scruffy Character Comedy Absurdist ★ Rewatch Bender: Not me, baby. I'm equipment.
Bender Character Comedy Meta/Self-Referential LaBarbara: Last night, he asked if you're having an affair. It was the first good laugh we've had since you left.
LaBarbara Dark/Subversive Character Comedy ★ Rewatch LaBarbara · Hermes: We share a child. Yes, yes, but nothing of value.
Zoidberg: How about a silent but deadly partner?
Mom: When I had you, I should have aimed for the trash!
Mom Dark/Subversive Escalation Mom: They'll spread across the world like steaming hot acne.
Mom Observational Visual Gag Mom: You burn the beans enough, it's like drinking caffeinated cigar ashes.
Mom Observational Character Comedy Hermes: We will triple-never double-ever disrespect this coffee!
Hermes Character Comedy Escalation Hermes: We'll stick with the plan. No one messes with my shrubs.
Hermes Character Comedy Misdirection Hermes · Zoidberg: Weird. This one looks almost like my father. Zoidberg, you're doing topiary? Nopiary!
Badrick's Ghost: You're scared o'shrubs? I really was a bad father.
Badrick: I mean, get a cup holder!
Badrick Observational Deadpan/Understatement ★ Rewatch Hermes: The reason is, I was a dingdong!
Hermes Character Comedy Callback Callback Dwight · LaBarbara: Why won't Pops come home? Did I do something to disappoint him? Plenty. But that's not the reason.
Scruffy: Sorry, I ain'ts had my coffees today. Owses!
Scruffy Physical/Slapstick Character Comedy Mom: I already resold the whole crap load for a butt-truck of ass-cash!
Mom Character Comedy Escalation Dwight · Hermes: Pops, aren't I a little old to be sitting on your lap? And heavy, too. But stay just a little longer.
Alien Commander: Thanks to the holy bean, humanity will soon be elevated to its final subjugation.
