Planet Espresso

Fry:Oh, no. The firing tie.

Hermes:the lowest-rated employee, possibly Zoidberg, will be fired at sundown. Zoidberg.

Hermes:Good luck, everybody but Zoidberg.

Amy:Yes, sir, I will be sure to snore that science lamp right away.

Leela:Not if you stand on their air hose much longer.

Scruffy:My job? Toilets 'n' boilers, boilers 'n' toilets. Plus that one boiling toilet.

Scruffy:Fire me, iffen you dare.

Hermes:ass ratio ranges from 42% to a mere 11%

Hermes:Hermes Conrad.

Hermes:My performance review proves the main drag on our profit is the time I waste on performance reviews.

Hermes:They'll be here two seconds ago.

LaBarbara:Only if you buy me dinner first.

Mark 7-G:I'm Mark 7-G, the machine who's replacing you.

Mark 7-G:Well, I wouldn't say no to a little friendly debriefing.

Hermes:Sounds like a party.

Zoidberg:My friend's ample tuchus is barely out the door, and you're already schmoozing up to his replacement?

Fry:In fact, he hated you more than anyone ever hated anyone.

Zoidberg:What, you mean the remarks and the hits? That was just friend teasing.

Zoidberg:He was the only one who cared enough to insult me.

Bender:I insult you, you fat sack.

Zoidberg:Sure, when it's convenient. But Hermes was always there for me.

Hermes:On the bright side, I'll never see Zoidberg again.

Hermes:It better be spicy.

Hermes:Not bad. Needs a little hot sauce.

LaBarbara:Then I guess this wouldn't be a good time to tell you that I'm pregnant. What? And you're not the father.

LaBarbara:I'm just joking, husband. See now? Things don't seem so bad anymore, do they?

LaBarbara:Oh, also, I wrecked the car.

Roberto:This here is a mugging! Hand over your skin.

Roberto:Ain't nothing crazy about me but my brain. Right, brain? Right! No, not you, right brain. Right, left brain? Right!

Hermes:I can't! When I fight machinery, machinery always wins!

URL:That's why you're going straight to the electromagnetic chair.

Roberto:And then I'm-a stab it.

Roberto:Stop! It's driving me sane!

Bender:Nah, I like my victims to know who did it.

Bender:Boy, am I indifferent to see you.

Fry:Leela punishes me when I don't use enough.

Bender:Yuri here runs the most sanitary surgical implant parlor in Filthytown.

Dwight · Hermes:Is that a harpoon in your chest? Yes. And I'm happy to see you.

Hermes:the whole package fits neatly in the space where my giblets used to be.

Dwight:I'm kind of a harpoon snob, and let me say, that thing is gorgeous.

Hermes:Pitiful and sickening.

Hermes:My best wasn't good enough. I'll need my personnel file, please.

Hermes · Zoidberg:Welcome back, old friend. I missed you terribly. You do everything terribly. And I'm not your friend.

Zoidberg:Good old Hermes. When he stops insulting, that's when I worry.

Scruffy:'Taint a boiler nor a toilet. Pass.

Amy:I don't want to end up a cold, emotionless machine like you.

Amy:That's sweet, Hermes.

Professor · Yuri:How long will it take to install an extendo-arm? I have golf game in half-hour, so half-hour.

Bender:A machine that can bend? No way.

Zoidberg:Such a mild insult. That's not my Hermes.

Zoidberg:Then I'll just take them and, throw them away, shall I, why not?

Hermes puppet:'Oh, mon, I'm Hermes, and I think it stinks in here like a green snake, or something else that's Jamaican.'

Hermes:You know, you look even hotter in infrared.

Bender:Nice shiny metal ass, Hermes.

Zoidberg:Not like dum-dum Zoidberg, right, Hermes? Right?

Hermes:Mecha-Hermes has no interest in such nonsense.

Zoidberg:Of course I tried eating you, but your flesh was too spicy.

Hermes puppet:'Yeah, from restaurant to restaurant. Ho-ho, mon.'

Hermes puppet:'Looks like you found it again.'

Hermes puppet:'I'm not your friend. I'm out of here the second you let go of my bowels.'

Amy:I can only see one of his four mouth tendrils moving.

Hermes:That meat puppet disgusts me. It's time for the ultimate upgrade.

Professor:Robot brain implant? Never. No one in right mind would do that.

Professor:A freshly dug robot grave. Let's exhume-a-zoom-zoom.

Professor:Enjoy eternity without your brain, anonymous dead robot.

Hermes puppet:'I'm ready to shoot myself if it'll get me off your lap.'

Hermes:Any robot brain will improve my fitness as a husband and father.

Hermes:But my new robot brain won't.

LaBarbara:Oh, I hope to God I'm using that word correctly.

Professor:you might have litigious survivors.

Hermes:There will be no noodles until the operation is complete.

Zoidberg:♪ I was lonesome for my friend a minute ago / When a happy thought dispelled my woe / And I felt perhaps he'd be a bit less dull / If I sliced up his cyborg skull ♪

Amy:Does anyone else find it freaky that Zoidberg is singing harmony with himself?

Professor:My condolences, LaBarbara. I hope you find some comfort in staring at this throbbing mass of nerve tissue.

Hermes:Sweet reawakenin' of me, a Jamaican-in.

Roberto:I'm gonna peel off your skin and eat it like pencil shavings.

Hermes:Thank God Zoidberg didn't reattach my nerves.

Leela:Hermes' skin is so saturated with it that it's dissolving the bad robot.

Hermes:In the end, all his implants were no match for my wife's reckless seasoning.

LaBarbara:Honey, we all do. But fair is fair.

Zoidberg:Never been friends? Ouch! What a zinger.

Zoidberg:You acted like a big jerk. You were selfish and stupid, and you don't deserve a wife like LaBarbara or a friend like me.

Hermes:It's funny because it's mean.

Zoidberg:Thank you, ladies and gentlemen. I'll be here forever.