Hermes inherits a Jamaican coffee farm that holds the ruins of an ancient spaceship.
WAR
73.5
Wins Above Replacement
“Planet Espresso” ranks #21 of 170 Futurama episodes on the Humor Index, scoring 83.1 — Elite. The episode packs 84 scored jokes at 5.0 per minute, averaging 7.0 on craft and 6.7 on impact, with Hermes landing the most laughs. Every joke is ranked below with its individual craft and impact scores.
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Top Jokes
Leela: Hermes' skin is so saturated with it that it's dissolving the bad robot.
Leela Callback Escalation ★ Rewatch Callback Hermes Misdirection Irony/Sarcasm ★ Rewatch Scruffy: My job? Toilets 'n' boilers, boilers 'n' toilets. Plus that one boiling toilet.
Scruffy Escalation Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Hermes: In the end, all his implants were no match for my wife's reckless seasoning.
Hermes Callback Irony/Sarcasm ★ Rewatch Callback Roberto: Ain't nothing crazy about me but my brain. Right, brain? Right! No, not you, right brain. Right, left brain? Right!
All Jokes — 84 analyzed
Show all ↓ Hide ↑ Fry: Oh, no. The firing tie.
Fry Observational Running Gag ★ Rewatch Hermes: the lowest-rated employee, possibly Zoidberg, will be fired at sundown. Zoidberg.
Hermes Character Comedy Setup/Punchline Hermes: Good luck, everybody but Zoidberg.
Hermes Character Comedy Escalation Amy: Yes, sir, I will be sure to snore that science lamp right away.
Amy Wordplay/Pun Character Comedy Leela: Not if you stand on their air hose much longer.
Leela Setup/Punchline Dark/Subversive Scruffy: My job? Toilets 'n' boilers, boilers 'n' toilets. Plus that one boiling toilet.
Scruffy Escalation Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Scruffy: Fire me, iffen you dare.
Scruffy Character Comedy Deadpan/Understatement Hermes: ass ratio ranges from 42% to a mere 11%
Hermes Absurdist Character Comedy Hermes Misdirection Irony/Sarcasm ★ Rewatch Hermes: My performance review proves the main drag on our profit is the time I waste on performance reviews.
Hermes Irony/Sarcasm Meta/Self-Referential ★ Rewatch Hermes: They'll be here two seconds ago.
LaBarbara: Only if you buy me dinner first.
Mark 7-G: I'm Mark 7-G, the machine who's replacing you.
Mark 7-G: Well, I wouldn't say no to a little friendly debriefing.
Hermes: Sounds like a party.
Hermes Irony/Sarcasm Setup/Punchline Zoidberg: My friend's ample tuchus is barely out the door, and you're already schmoozing up to his replacement?
Fry: In fact, he hated you more than anyone ever hated anyone.
Fry Setup/Punchline Irony/Sarcasm Zoidberg: What, you mean the remarks and the hits? That was just friend teasing.
Zoidberg: He was the only one who cared enough to insult me.
Zoidberg Character Comedy Irony/Sarcasm ★ Rewatch Bender: I insult you, you fat sack.
Bender Setup/Punchline Character Comedy Zoidberg: Sure, when it's convenient. But Hermes was always there for me.
Hermes: On the bright side, I'll never see Zoidberg again.
Hermes Irony/Sarcasm Character Comedy Hermes: It better be spicy.
Hermes Setup/Punchline Character Comedy Hermes: Not bad. Needs a little hot sauce.
Hermes Escalation Physical/Slapstick Callback LaBarbara: Then I guess this wouldn't be a good time to tell you that I'm pregnant. What? And you're not the father.
LaBarbara: I'm just joking, husband. See now? Things don't seem so bad anymore, do they?
LaBarbara: Oh, also, I wrecked the car.
Roberto: This here is a mugging! Hand over your skin.
Roberto: Ain't nothing crazy about me but my brain. Right, brain? Right! No, not you, right brain. Right, left brain? Right!
Hermes: I can't! When I fight machinery, machinery always wins!
Hermes Character Comedy Callback URL: That's why you're going straight to the electromagnetic chair.
URL Wordplay/Pun Setup/Punchline Roberto: And then I'm-a stab it.
Roberto: Stop! It's driving me sane!
Bender: Nah, I like my victims to know who did it.
Bender Character Comedy Dark/Subversive Bender: Boy, am I indifferent to see you.
Bender Character Comedy Wordplay/Pun Fry: Leela punishes me when I don't use enough.
Fry Cringe/Discomfort Setup/Punchline Bender: Yuri here runs the most sanitary surgical implant parlor in Filthytown.
Dwight · Hermes: Is that a harpoon in your chest? Yes. And I'm happy to see you.
Hermes: the whole package fits neatly in the space where my giblets used to be.
Dwight: I'm kind of a harpoon snob, and let me say, that thing is gorgeous.
Dwight Absurdist Character Comedy Hermes: Pitiful and sickening.
Hermes Reaction Beat Character Comedy Hermes: My best wasn't good enough. I'll need my personnel file, please.
Hermes Character Comedy Irony/Sarcasm Hermes · Zoidberg: Welcome back, old friend. I missed you terribly. You do everything terribly. And I'm not your friend.
Zoidberg: Good old Hermes. When he stops insulting, that's when I worry.
Zoidberg Callback Character Comedy Callback Scruffy: 'Taint a boiler nor a toilet. Pass.
Scruffy Character Comedy Setup/Punchline Callback Amy: I don't want to end up a cold, emotionless machine like you.
Amy Irony/Sarcasm Setup/Punchline Amy: That's sweet, Hermes.
Amy Irony/Sarcasm Reaction Beat Professor · Yuri: How long will it take to install an extendo-arm? I have golf game in half-hour, so half-hour.
Bender: A machine that can bend? No way.
Bender Irony/Sarcasm Meta/Self-Referential ★ Rewatch Zoidberg: Such a mild insult. That's not my Hermes.
Zoidberg Callback Character Comedy Callback Zoidberg: Then I'll just take them and, throw them away, shall I, why not?
Hermes puppet: 'Oh, mon, I'm Hermes, and I think it stinks in here like a green snake, or something else that's Jamaican.'
Hermes: You know, you look even hotter in infrared.
Hermes Setup/Punchline Wordplay/Pun Bender: Nice shiny metal ass, Hermes.
Bender Visual Gag Character Comedy Zoidberg: Not like dum-dum Zoidberg, right, Hermes? Right?
Zoidberg Character Comedy Cringe/Discomfort Callback Hermes: Mecha-Hermes has no interest in such nonsense.
Hermes Character Comedy Escalation Zoidberg: Of course I tried eating you, but your flesh was too spicy.
Hermes puppet: 'Yeah, from restaurant to restaurant. Ho-ho, mon.'
Hermes puppet: 'Looks like you found it again.'
Hermes puppet: 'I'm not your friend. I'm out of here the second you let go of my bowels.'
Amy: I can only see one of his four mouth tendrils moving.
Amy Observational Character Comedy Hermes: That meat puppet disgusts me. It's time for the ultimate upgrade.
Hermes Escalation Setup/Punchline Professor: Robot brain implant? Never. No one in right mind would do that.
Professor: A freshly dug robot grave. Let's exhume-a-zoom-zoom.
Professor: Enjoy eternity without your brain, anonymous dead robot.
Hermes puppet: 'I'm ready to shoot myself if it'll get me off your lap.'
Hermes: Any robot brain will improve my fitness as a husband and father.
Hermes Irony/Sarcasm Character Comedy Hermes: But my new robot brain won't.
LaBarbara: Oh, I hope to God I'm using that word correctly.
Professor: you might have litigious survivors.
Hermes: There will be no noodles until the operation is complete.
Hermes Escalation Character Comedy Zoidberg: ♪ I was lonesome for my friend a minute ago / When a happy thought dispelled my woe / And I felt perhaps he'd be a bit less dull / If I sliced up his cyborg skull ♪
Amy: Does anyone else find it freaky that Zoidberg is singing harmony with himself?
Amy Meta/Self-Referential Observational Professor: My condolences, LaBarbara. I hope you find some comfort in staring at this throbbing mass of nerve tissue.
Professor Cringe/Discomfort Deadpan/Understatement Hermes: Sweet reawakenin' of me, a Jamaican-in.
Hermes Wordplay/Pun Character Comedy Roberto: I'm gonna peel off your skin and eat it like pencil shavings.
Hermes: Thank God Zoidberg didn't reattach my nerves.
Hermes Setup/Punchline Callback ★ Rewatch Leela: Hermes' skin is so saturated with it that it's dissolving the bad robot.
Leela Callback Escalation ★ Rewatch Callback Hermes: In the end, all his implants were no match for my wife's reckless seasoning.
Hermes Callback Irony/Sarcasm ★ Rewatch Callback LaBarbara: Honey, we all do. But fair is fair.
Zoidberg: Never been friends? Ouch! What a zinger.
Zoidberg Callback Character Comedy Callback Zoidberg: You acted like a big jerk. You were selfish and stupid, and you don't deserve a wife like LaBarbara or a friend like me.
Hermes: It's funny because it's mean.
Hermes Meta/Self-Referential Callback Zoidberg: Thank you, ladies and gentlemen. I'll be here forever.
Zoidberg Meta/Self-Referential Setup/Punchline