Moving Up (1)

Can't believe Michael Bay spent a billion dollars of his own money to build that for The Rock.

I can't believe you were able to recite that entire movie, from memory, on the plane ride.

What happens at a National Parks Conference is compiled and emailed to you in a PDF the following Monday.

They give tours. Yeah. That's exactly how they'll be expecting me to try to break in.

Wow. I've never worked hard on anything. What a cool life!

From now on, everyone call me Kristen. Because I am wigging out right now!

They're not even done painting that sign. It says 'Tom's bi.'

Lester Kanopf? Come on, guys, get it together.

Liam Bonneville? The Department of the Interior's resident bad boy?

No idea.

Six months ago, I was working in a taco truck. Now, I own one-third of the Portland Trailblazers.

Sure, obviously, we're no Akron. I mean, we're more like Dayton. But with your help, we can become Toledo.

We don't like to say the word 'no'... No. ...at this company. We feel it's counter-productive to our creative mission. So instead, let me say, 'Nah, bro.'

Check it out, guys, all done. Only made, like, 12 mistakes.

Dwayne 'The Rock' Swanson.

Who do you think I am, Thomas Hucker?

Please, Ron? I've never asked you for anything today.

I made a poster of you by blowing up your picture from the National Parks newsletter. I cut out your face and made it look like you were dunking over Charles Barkley.

Rebecca Varuvian. Yes? Nothing. That was the best lunch I ever had.

I agree with you on all things. Throughout history. Until the end of time, forever.

Great work! I'm sorry I'm talking so loud! I'm getting louder and now I can't stop! My apologies!

I thought he was gonna be on it.

I don't know! Liam Bonneville has me in a tizzy!

No. Can't I just stay in the back and spit in people's food like we planned?

Fine, but if he raises his voice once, once, I'm out. Please don't stick to that policy.

What are these pictures? Oh, geez, I must have given the printer the wrong flash drive. What is this, a rotten grapefruit? No, it's my dog's rectum.

Larry? Larry. Larry. Listen to me. This is the worst thing you've ever done.

It was too perfect. It looked machine-made.

Every time someone in Pawnee clicks through a slideshow of American Music Award red carpet sideboob fails, they'll say, 'Thank you, Ben Wyatt.'

There can't be an alchemist of the Hinterlands. The Hinterlands is a shadow kingdom that can only sustain a provost or a denier.

You lost your cityhood?

Which is it? Fruity or earthy? It can't be both, they're mutually exclusive!

Which is it? Fruity or earthy? It can't be both, they're mutually exclusive!

A man without a palate isn't a man. I love you, Donna.

Guess I have to start over. Who wants to go look for trees with me?

I move my abbot to the ocean hex, which moves my brinksman to the devil's lair, and pushes my farmer, yes, my humble farmer, directly into the central cone.

Yeah, man! We did it! This whole company is ours! Oh, no, it's not. That's mine. That's mine. It's all mine.

Spaghetti, linguine, fettuccine, ravioli, rigatoni, Ferrari, Lamborghini, bucatini, lasagna.

We had to throw our menus away because they are covered with pictures of Larry's dog's rectum.

Great news. Lord Sheldon's gonna make it. Yeah. We just have to apply a salve to his anus every hour for the rest of his life, but... Oh! Enjoy your meal!

I mean, people are playing with my cones, babe.

Wasn't Dolly the sheep like 20 years ago? It's like, 'What the hell, scientists? Get it together!'

I love quitting. When I was a kid and things didn't go my way, I would just take my ball and go home. That's better than winning, 'cause then, your friends can't play anymore!

Well, I hate doing work, but I love being flattered, so maybe I'll give it another try.

Because you currently owe me $16,000. For the wood. The labor was free, but the wood was a bargain. At $16,000.

Wait. I'm on Endor. These are the redwoods George Lucas used to create the forest moon of Endor.

Might be for the best. But anyway, I love you. No, I don't. I'm sorry. That was weird. Okay, bye.

She wanted to fire me, but she realized that she loved having me around too much, and she couldn't do it.

Did someone call for a party zoo?

All right, so we got a four-way going with my ex, my brother, and this rando? Okay, if that's where the night is going. It's 9:00 in the morning.

You remember the time you made me dress up as you, and go on a date with one of your ex-boyfriends? And then the guy immediately figured it out, and beat me up?

I wanna go horseback riding! Deal.

You're right, the name is too long, I was picturing bigger hats.

Only a moron would ever live anywhere other than Pawnee, Indiana. Leslie Knope, multiple occasions.

I ordered a small cheeseburger and both the buns were pizzas.

Judge gave me two ankle bracelets. Said it was the first time he ever had to do that. Ja boy's a question on the bar exam! Ya heard!

Ja boy's a question on the bar exam! Ya heard!

Unless you want me to get on stage and talk about how we used to take baths together. How you cried whenever I took away your rubber duckies. Damn, Donna, why you gotta bring the Quackson Five into this?

Save it, jagwipe. I had this place on lockdown. I was rolling in cash and lonely moms, and then you come out of nowhere, and you blow up my spot.

No, just trolling for some daddy. Sorry, I pronounced that wrong. I'm trolling for some dad-dy.

I will defeat you right into my pants.

There's pizza in Pawnee. Right. Thanks, babe. You're so good at reminding me where pizza is.

I like to do nothing with no one. So, thank you and I love you, but no thank you, and I hate you. More I love you.

What? Larry's great. Have you lost your mind?

I wonder if the carpet is as curly as the drapes.

Let's get divorced. That way we can get married again! Yes! Let's do it. We should do that, right? Yeah, totally. We're getting divorced! Yes! This is amazing!

And I've been to Dallas.

And by the way, don't think that we are not discussing Duke Silver. When were you going to tell me about that? Unbelievable. I am so furious at you. But I've already forgiven you and you need to teach me how to play the saxophone.

And if you don't agree with us, it's nine against one and we can make you disappear forever. What? I said we have free WiFi.

Also, can you bring back Power Rangers? I don't know what it is you do, but you seem important enough to get that done.