Leslie arranges for a reporter to do a story about her park project, but she and her committee have the worst time staying on topic. She then calls Mark to help her save the story, but it ends up hurting more than helping. Meanwhile, Tom does all he can to suck up to his boss.
Early-season awkwardness: 66 jokes in 23 minutes, but cringe outweighs laughs consistently.
Directed by Jeffrey Blitz · Written by Daniel J. Goor
WAR
79.6
Wins Above Replacement
“The Reporter” ranks #117 of 123 Parks and Recreation episodes on the Humor Index, scoring 86.0 — Elite. The episode packs 72 scored jokes at 3.1 per minute, averaging 7.2 on craft and 7.0 on impact, with Leslie landing the most laughs. Every joke is ranked below with its individual craft and impact scores.
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Top Jokes
Tom: Mark's like the human equivalent of a participation trophy. Nobody wanted him, but the system made us keep him around.
Ron Irony/Sarcasm Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Leslie: Leslie reads the article's final line: 'She writes, and I quote, We'll see.' Leslie: 'Ends on a hopeful note.'
Leslie Character Comedy Irony/Sarcasm ★ Rewatch Leslie: So the mural was supposed to be a beautiful representation of our town's history, but apparently the artist interpreted 'founding fathers' very literally, and now we have a giant penis on the side of the Parks Department building.
Ron: I don't see the problem.
Leslie: Ron, it's a municipal building. We can't have cartoon penises as our public art.
Tom: I think it really brings the space together.
April: I've seen worse things in the parks.
Leslie Escalation Deadpan/Understatement ★ Rewatch Callback Mark: Her first question is gonna be about the silent K in 'knife.'
Leslie: Actually, there is no silent K in 'knife.' The K is completely silent. It's just the word 'nife.' I've checked multiple sources.
Leslie Misdirection Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Leslie: This mural depicts the founding of Pawnee. See, there's the river, the native peoples, and then over here is where the settlers brutally murdered them all. It's a beautiful piece of our town's history.
Ron Shauna Character Comedy Deadpan/Understatement ★ Rewatch All Jokes — 72 analyzed
Show all ↓ Hide ↑ Jerry: You can't eat a plant with spikes because it's poisonous.
Jerry: It would hurt.
Jerry Deadpan/Understatement Observational Leslie: We used to do teenage nature hikes, but we switched to pre-teen because the teenage ones kept getting rained out.
Leslie: Apparently, once you hit puberty, you attract lightning.
Leslie Dark/Subversive Deadpan/Understatement ★ Rewatch Jerry: You don't eat honeysuckle.
Leslie: I'm eating it.
Leslie: This is all your fault, Jerry!
Jerry: What? I told you not to eat that!
Leslie: Well you should have been more convincing!
Leslie Character Comedy Deadpan/Understatement Jerry: You're like a dog that's been hit by a car. You just keep limping along, hopeful but clearly broken.
Leslie: Did you just compare me to a dog that's been hit by a car?
Jerry: Yes.
Leslie: Well, I've been hit by a car, Jerry. And I'm still here. Still fighting. Still believing in this town.
Leslie Character Comedy Escalation ★ Rewatch Callback Leslie: The Pawnee Journal is basically the Washington Post of small-town Indiana newspapers. Which means it's nothing like the Washington Post.
Leslie Character Comedy Absurdist Leslie: We need to treat the press like weapons in an arsenal. Some are sniper rifles - precise, deadly, efficient. Others are howitzers - loud, destructive, but effective at clearing a path. And some are just... regular guns. They shoot bullets.
Leslie Dark/Subversive Deadpan/Understatement ★ Rewatch Leslie: So the mural was supposed to be a beautiful representation of our town's history, but apparently the artist interpreted 'founding fathers' very literally, and now we have a giant penis on the side of the Parks Department building.
Ron: I don't see the problem.
Leslie: Ron, it's a municipal building. We can't have cartoon penises as our public art.
Tom: I think it really brings the space together.
April: I've seen worse things in the parks.
Leslie Escalation Deadpan/Understatement ★ Rewatch Callback Leslie: I'm still being haunted by that graffiti removal failure. Every night I see it in my dreams.
Leslie: But now it's worse. I'm being haunted by one penis in particular.
Leslie: You can't have more than one styrofoam cup per person per day. And you can't have more than one styrofoam cup per person per day.
Ann Character Comedy Deadpan/Understatement Ann: I've learned so much working in government, and I feel like I've really made a difference in this community. I've helped with so many initiatives and programs, and I'm really proud of the work we've—wait, did I ever get my recycling bin?
Leslie: This diner is where all the political elite gather to discuss matters of great importance.
Leslie: It has plastic booths, a counter with spinning stools, and a handwritten menu taped to the window.
Leslie Mark Character Comedy Deadpan/Understatement ★ Rewatch Mark: So you have any media experience?
Leslie: Well, I was interviewed by the middle school newspaper once.
Mark: Oh yeah? What about?
Leslie: It was a total smear job. They said I was 'overly enthusiastic' and 'didn't understand the concept of recess.'
Mark: Her first question is gonna be about the silent K in 'knife.'
Leslie: Actually, there is no silent K in 'knife.' The K is completely silent. It's just the word 'nife.' I've checked multiple sources.
Leslie Misdirection Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Mark: How much did you prepare for this?
Leslie: I made a list of thirty questions I'm going to ask you.
Mark: Of course you did.
Leslie: Mark and I have been through a lot together. We've seen each other at our worst. I once threw up on his shoes at a Sweetums party, and he never said a word about it. That's friendship.
Leslie Character Comedy Deadpan/Understatement ★ Rewatch Callback Leslie Knope: And this is our storage closet. We keep all our important documents here.
Jerry Gergich: Oh no! Who left this door open?!
Jerry Gergich: The raccoons are going to get in! The raccoons are going to get in!
Shauna Deadpan/Understatement Character Comedy Leslie: Yes! Nature's bandits! That's exactly what they are. They're like little masked criminals, but instead of robbing banks, they're robbing our garbage cans. Which, honestly, is kind of adorable when you think about it.
Leslie: This mural depicts the founding of Pawnee. See, there's the river, the native peoples, and then over here is where the settlers brutally murdered them all. It's a beautiful piece of our town's history.
Ron Shauna Character Comedy Deadpan/Understatement ★ Rewatch Shauna: This mural is pretty controversial.
Leslie: Yeah, we get complaints about it every single day.
Ron: No comment.
Shauna: I haven't asked you anything yet.
Ron: I work fast.
Tom Character Comedy Irony/Sarcasm ★ Rewatch Ron: Tom, you can't spell a three-letter word. You're an idiot.
Leslie Character Comedy Absurdist Tom: Ron and I have this beautiful thing where I'm constantly trying to impress him, and I'm constantly failing. It's like a dance. A dance that I'm losing. Every single time. But I keep dancing.
Tom Reaction Beat Deadpan/Understatement Callback Leslie: This is Tom Haverford, our department's... entrepreneur.
Tom: I'm smooth like milk chocolate.
Leslie Deadpan/Understatement Character Comedy Leslie: Leslie re-introducing Andy: 'Andy is the citizen who fell in it.' (the pit)
Leslie Deadpan/Understatement Character Comedy Leslie: This is April Ludgate. She's our new parks department secretary, and she chose to work here, which means she has terrible judgment.
Reporter: Can I record this?
Leslie: Yes! Absolutely. I love being recorded. I have a very recordable face. It photographs well from all angles. My voice is also very record-friendly. It's a warm, mellifluous tone that really translates well to audio formats.
Leslie Cringe/Discomfort Character Comedy Reporter: So you're heading up this new committee?
Leslie: Actually, it's a subcommittee. There's a very important distinction.
Andy Wordplay/Pun Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Andy: So I was in this band called Four Skin, and we were pretty good. We had like a really solid following in Pawnee. But then our drummer got arrested, so we had to change our name to Three Skin.
Andy Character Comedy Absurdist Andy: I went into the pit because there was this illogical desire for a random toaster at the bottom of a pit.
Shauna: Why would you put a toaster in a bathtub?
Andy: I was drunk.
Andy: You knew I was drunk?
Ann: What? No!
Andy: Oh my God, you knew the whole time?
Ann: I didn't know anything!
Andy Deadpan/Understatement Character Comedy Ann: Andy, you could die. You have a serious medical condition.
Andy: Ann, I'm not going to die. I'm just going to get blackout drunk.
Andy Cringe/Discomfort Escalation ★ Rewatch Andy: Look, I didn't eat the last waffle. Ask Ann, she'll tell you.
Ann: Andy, why would I—
Andy: Because she's on birth control, so she's used to keeping track of things!
Leslie Irony/Sarcasm Running Gag Callback Andy: I've been struggling with my sexuality since I was a kid.
Ann: Thanks for sharing that with a reporter, Andy.
Leslie Character Comedy Misdirection Leslie: You know what? The press is like a shark. It can smell blood in the water from a thousand miles away. And once it does, it circles. And circles. And then it attacks.
Leslie: We have a crisis on our hands. The interview revealed several major problems: the pothole on Ramsett Street, the crumbling infrastructure at City Hall, and Ann's birth control.
April Deadpan/Understatement Reaction Beat Callback Tom: Am I in your top five best-looking guys?
April: No.
Tom: Top ten?
April: No.
Tom: Well, who's ahead of me?
April: Literally almost everyone.
Tom Character Comedy Absurdist Callback Ron: Tom can't play Scrabble. He doesn't have the intellectual capacity. Last week he tried to use the word 'Q' as a standalone tile. When I told him that wasn't allowed, he argued with me for twenty minutes about the rules of a game he's played since childhood. He's an idiot. His mother's an idiot. His father's an idiot. And his ex-wife Wendy is a bitch.
Ron Tom Character Comedy Escalation ★ Rewatch Ron: She's a bitch.
Ron: A serious bitch.
Ron Deadpan/Understatement Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Callback Leslie: She wears her lanyard on the outside of her shirt. She microwaves fish in the office kitchen. She refers to herself in the third person. She once told me that she doesn't believe in email. And most damning of all, she's dating Mark Brendanawicz.
Leslie Misdirection Character Comedy Shauna: What's the lot size?
Leslie: I don't know, maybe like... a lot? A regular lot? It's got the lot things on it, you know, dirt and trees and... molecules.
Leslie Cringe/Discomfort Escalation Tom: I just played 'qi' on a triple word score. That's 47 points. I am dominating this game.
April: Yeah, about that. Ron and I have a thing where I let him win at games so he doesn't get angry and fire us.
April: You just ruined six months of work.
Tom: Wait, what?
Tom April Character Comedy Irony/Sarcasm ★ Rewatch Callback Leslie: I would never hire someone just because they're family. That would be nepotism, and nepotism is wrong.
Leslie: Also, my sister starts Monday.
Tom April Reaction Beat Character Comedy Callback Leslie: The interview went really well. I think we really connected. She asked me about my vision for the Parks Department, and I talked about some of the initiatives I want to implement.
Leslie: Oh, and apparently Mark and Shauna have been having sex. I don't know when that started, but good for them, I guess.
April Character Comedy Cringe/Discomfort Andy: I called it! I knew Mark and Shauna were gonna hook up!
Leslie: You did call that.
Ann: Yeah, you totally did.
April Character Comedy Awkward Silence Andy: It's like, we got a head and a butt, and just enough blood to run one of them at a time.
Leslie Character Comedy Irony/Sarcasm Callback Andy: So Mark and Shauna, huh? I wonder if they use protection.
Ann: Andy, that's not really something you should be wondering about.
Andy: I'm just saying, Mark seems like the type of guy who'd be into like, helmets and knee pads and stuff. You know, for safety.
Mark: Leslie, I'm just saying, don't take this the wrong way.
Mark: But you're being kind of dorky right now.
Andy Ann Character Comedy Reaction Beat Leslie: Hi, yes, I know I've been acting strange all day. I found an old burrito in the back of my desk drawer and I think it gave me food poisoning.
Leslie: No, I don't know how long it's been there. No, I'm not going to a doctor. I'm going to ride this out with ginger ale and determination.
Andy Character Comedy Deadpan/Understatement Leslie: I'm not saying I have food poisoning. I'm saying that burrito was not a Mexican burrito.
Shauna: What does that mean?
Leslie: It means it was a burrito made by someone who hates Mexican people.
Andy Cringe/Discomfort Character Comedy Leslie: The odds of this park getting made? I'd say... 100%.
Ben: Leslie, that's not how odds work.
Leslie: You're right. 150%.
Leslie Mark Character Comedy Cringe/Discomfort ★ Rewatch Callback Shauna: One person said the park is 'worse than a dumpster fire.' Another said it's 'worse than that time a sinkhole swallowed a bus.' Someone compared it to 'the asteroid that killed the dinosaurs.' And then this one person just wrote, 'worse than my marriage.'
Leslie: Well, at least the asteroid part was factually accurate.
Mark Deadpan/Understatement Character Comedy Leslie: That doesn't even make sense! A blanket is nothing like a government!
Leslie: And another thing - you can't just compare taxes to ice cream cones!
Leslie: That's... that's not how logic works! A pothole is not a metaphor for democracy!
Leslie: Okay, you know what? Fine. A sandwich is exactly like city zoning regulations. You happy now?
Leslie: Who said the park would never happen?
Shauna: Mark did.
Leslie: Mark? Mark Brendanawicz?
Leslie Character Comedy Misdirection Mark: Those quotes were off the record.
Leslie: Mark, that's not how journalism works. Once you say something to a reporter, it's on the record.
Mark: Well, nobody told me that.
Leslie: It's like... basic journalism 101.
Mark: I went to journalism school for a week.
Mark: I said, 'I'm not interested in talking to you about your problems.' She thought that was romantic because I was being honest.
Mark: And when I told her, 'I don't think you're very smart,' she said it was the most vulnerable thing anyone had ever said to her.
Mark: Even when I said, 'You're kind of a disappointment,' she took it as a sign that I cared enough to be critical.
Mark: We're not romantically involved. We barely know each other. I mean, I know her name is Shauna, but that's about it. We've never even been on a date.
Tom: Lexicon is totally a word. It means like, a dictionary or a book of words. It's from Latin.
Tom: Wait, no. Lexicon is a Lexus. A Lexus is a fancy car. So lexicon is a fancy book of words.
Ron: Your vocabulary is abysmal.
Tom: Well, my vocabullairy is just fine, thank you very much.
Ron: Tom is lazy, incompetent, and has no integrity whatsoever.
Ron: Which makes him the perfect government employee.
Shauna Mark Cringe/Discomfort Deadpan/Understatement ★ Rewatch Mark: It's over.
Tom: Wait, what? You slept with her?
Ron Tom Character Comedy Setup/Punchline ★ Rewatch Callback Tom: Mark's like the human equivalent of a participation trophy. Nobody wanted him, but the system made us keep him around.
Ron Irony/Sarcasm Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Leslie: It says here that you spit on a police officer.
Ann: I didn't spit on him, I threw up on him. There's a difference.
Leslie Character Comedy Irony/Sarcasm Leslie: "We'll see." Oh! That's so encouraging! That means they're definitely going to do it!
Tom Character Comedy Cringe/Discomfort Mark · Tom: Mark: 'Yes, but I'm not gonna do it again. It's over.' Tom: 'So she's available.'
Mark Tom Setup/Punchline Character Comedy Leslie · Mark: Leslie offers to reinstate Mark: 'Would you like to be reinstated onto our subcommittee?' Mark: 'Absolutely.' Leslie: 'You'll have my answer within the month.'
Andy: After an elaborate ceremonial reinstatement with excessive 'thank you's, Andy in the background: 'Man, that dude has stuck it in some crazy chicks.'
Andy Cringe/Discomfort Character Comedy Leslie: Leslie reads the article: 'Pretty drunk, Ann's on the pill.' Leslie: 'I didn't throw up, I spit up.'
Leslie Callback Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Callback Leslie: Leslie: 'JJ's Diner gets a nice mention.' (reading the article)
Leslie Deadpan/Understatement Character Comedy Leslie: Leslie reads the article's final line: 'She writes, and I quote, We'll see.' Leslie: 'Ends on a hopeful note.'
Leslie Character Comedy Irony/Sarcasm ★ Rewatch Top Episodes — Parks and Recreation
