Operation Ann

Josef Stalin Dies? That's right, Mom. And you replaced him. Not in terms of genocide. Just in terms of, you know, being on Earth.

Dear Congress. It's Leslie again.

I have several men in rotation. One's waiting for me out in the car. Don't worry. I rolled down the window.

Well, last week, he was supposed to buy gas, but instead, he bought novelty cookie cutters. Now, everything we eat is shaped like a dinosaur. He's amazing.

It's really hard to say 'congrats' without sounding sarcastic.

Seriously, I really hope you guys are all very happy. Damn it.

Oh, Ann. You beautiful spinster. I will find you love.

Great attitude, Ron. Sorry. I was talking to these ribs.

Ann's not totally hideous. Why does she need our help?

Just tell us the damn word. Effervescent.

Quick question about Ann. Does anyone know if she has any Indian in her? No one respond. No one say anything. Why? I'm just curious if Ann has a little Indian in her. Silence. I don't think she does. Would she like some?

Yachter Otter? Yep. Two months ago, I have a dream about a playboy otter lost at sea, and you make him real? I love it.

Oh. A bomb? It is a cryptex, like in that movie The Da Vinci Code, which was the first movie that you and I ever watched on Starz HD.

Millicent Gergich has literally torn my heart from my body, and replaced it with a thick slab of sadness.

Tom, this is a publicly funded couples dance. I don't think it's appropriate for people to be 'getting wet with sound.'

Have you tried... That's a four-letter word. Add an 'S'?

Did you try... Yes. Why is that everyone's first suggestion?

Jerry, well done. I put an ad on Craigslist. 'Man seeking man for a night of casual fun.' Enrico, he responded right away.

You hired a male escort. A what? Please get your gigolo out of here.

April hates Valentine's Day. And brunch and outside and smiling. She's weird.

Are you kidding me? No. You brought Orin? Ann is not some weird morose mummy. Offense intended, Orin.

What about a wedding where you used to go out with the groom and you're the only one there without a date, so the bride makes you dance to Single Ladies by yourself?

My dentist is 80, and he's gay and he's taken.

What's this? 'P Hut.' Pizza Hut. Hold on. Hi. How cute are you?

But something wicked with a book is my ex-wife from the library. Which means I'm the one that succumbs.

'Follow me to the sheltered snow. Only 22 clues left to go.' 22? Well, this is the woman I've chosen to love.

Nobody here compares to Millicent. Except maybe Jerry. Technically, they share 50% of the same DNA.

You really suck at this. Okay. Why don't you just tell me where it is, and I can get out of here? That would take all the fun out of it.

Not as beautiful as my sister, but you know the law.

I'm Harris. I heard you were desperate for a man piece. We in business?

Try 308. I'm going to have to pass right now. Your mistake, mama.

Where to begin? I'm an amateur juggler. Nope, you shouldn't have begun there. Get out. No one's trying to get with jugglers.

Well, they always say break glass in case of an emergency.

What if she was my personal best? No. Your best is still ahead of you. I am 44 years old. You don't look a day over 30. Most people say 25. Who says that? A lot of people.

And you tossed her out like day-old chowder.

You're going to throw them on the roof again so I can't leave. You know me too well.

Ann, you tricky bastard.

Weird stick. Might be a clue? No.

Ann would never do anything to piss you off, Leslie. You guys are such close friends. It's lame.

Ron, you're a genius. Li'l Sebastian. Yep. At first, you did not understand what made this tiny horse so special. And now, you love him more than I do.

I really tried to make that hard. Yeah. I'm very impressed with you.

Screw romantic dinners. Let's go rub it in their face. God, I love you so much.

April. Hey. April. Tom and Ann are on a date. I know. What do you mean you know? How do you know? Because I set them up.

This is a small loser town with loser people, and Tom's, like, at least semi-cool.

You're a very nice person. No. Yes, you are. A very nice person. Bye.

Yeah, but I love passionate speakers and Italian men. Doesn't mean I love Mussolini.

Scottish? White. Whatever you are.

Then, we go back to my place and snuggle up like little bunnies. Yeah, this was a mistake.

I absolutely do not want to solve a series of riddles and clues, each more intricate than the last. You understand what I'm saying? Yeah. I got it, Ron. Good. I do want that. Please do that for me.