Johnny Rose

John:Eli was family, for God's sake! 'Leave your finances to me,' he said! Son of a bitch!

John · Moira:Yes, I bought that as a joke for my son. / You could've photoshopped the deed! And saved the money!

John · Stevie · Motel owner:What about suites? Do you have a couple of suites? / This guy! / Um… No, this is a motel. So we cater more to off road truckers and drunk teenagers.

David · Moira · Alexis · John:Ew! Ew! Ew! Ew! / Oh, my God. Oh, my God. [family recoiling in disgust]

Roland · John:Oh, looks like you got all the channels except for Channel 19 for some reason. I don't know why. / Well, the thing is we won't be watching a lot of television. But again, thank you. Don't want to keep you. I know you're a busy man.

John · Roland:Is it absolutely necessary? / Yeah, I would say it's absolutely necessary!

Moira · John:Where's that weird man? / He's in the bathroom. He won't leave!

Roland · John:Oh, look! You've got Channel 19! / Roland, could you get the fuck out?

John:That was an overreaction. That was uncalled for. / It's just, you know, we're a little tired. It's been a long day.

John:There's a pharmacy worth of drugs wearing off on most of us right now.

John:Well, I'm feeling a little queasy myself. Oh, brisket!

John · Stevie:These rooms did have doors, didn't they? / Yeah, it's a hotel. They're hotel rooms. / It's a motel! These are motel rooms.

John · Roland:Roland, I see you behind the truck! / Yeah, of course you see me. I'm looking at my gravel. Gravel these days. What are you gonna do?

John:Before it gets dark! My son is afraid of moths.

Roland · John:You see, you did a bad thing. You disrespected me in front of your family! And now they think less of me. / I doubt that's possible.

Roland · John:Well, there was no apology and I can't do this anymore! / You said you're sorry in a very sweet and humble way, and that takes a big man to do that. And that's what Johnny Rose is! A big man!

Moira · John:The man is a lunatic! / What the hell happened here? / We've been robbed. Right now, some local is pawning my earrings for crank.

John:Moira, I took your earrings out of here and I put them in my shoe. For safekeeping.

John · Moira:Moira, I took your earrings out of here and I put them in my shoe. / For safekeeping. / No! No!

John · David · Moira:David, help me with the doors. / No, I can't. I just got out of the shower. / I need help with the doors. / David, help him with the doors! / Oh, my God! / You help him with the doors! / No! / David, could you help me with the doors? / It's air-drying!

John · Moira:Kids, we just came in to say good night and to remind you that we will get through this as a family. / Warmest regards to you both.

John · David · Alexis · Moira:Good night, children. / Good night! / Good night. / Good night. / Let's all pray we don't wake up.

David · John:What are you wearing? What is that? A nightgown? / It's a nightshirt, David. And that's not the issue.

John:Do I want you to call a plumber? Yes, yes I do. I want you call... You should already be on the phone.

John · Stevie:I'd rather drink the pipe-water. / I hear ya.

John:Son of a bitch! [reaction to learning the mayor must sign off]

Moira · John:How did you not get the contract signed, John? / Can one thing, just one thing, not be easy in this town?!

John · David:How do you know that. / What do you have on tonight? / - What? - Good, it's settled.

John · Moira:Let me explain something about business. / Don't you dare... / It's a dance. And sometimes you lead. and sometimes you follow.

John · Moira:And he thinks he's leading in the dance, but only because I've allowed him to think... / - Are you listening to this? - Hmm?

John:Son of a bitch! [John's reaction to Alexis's leather pants question interrupting his crisis moment]

Jocelyn · John:Roland is just on the toilet. Oh, what a surprise.

John · Jocelyn · Moira:You have a really lovely home. It's really um, understated. / Thank you. I get a lot of my ideas from magazines. / Don't be modest. This is 100 percent you and only you.

Roland · John · Roland:I know it's gotta be in here somewhere, slippery little bastard. / Maybe a fork would help, Roland? / Oh, that's sweet. Thank you. I'm okay. I'll find it.

David · John · David:Um, it think it's the migraines that I get a lot. / Oh, I think... I think that'll pass, David. / I don't think it's gonna pass. I don't think it's passing.

John:I'm gonna need a stiff drink to get through this. Stiff.

John:Jocelyn, you were saying that you teach high school, or you want to finish high school?

Roland · John · Roland:Hey, how many people did you slap on that show? / I don't care. / She can't remember, there were so many slaps.

Roland · Moira · Roland · John:- Slap me! - I won't. - Slap me like a bitch! - Sign the fucking contract!

Roland · John · Roland · Roland:Just remember one thing, okay? This is my town and you're gonna play by my rules. Comprende? / [long pause] / I'm just messing with you, man! / Or am I? / No. I am.

Moira · Jocelyn · John:Jocelyn, thank you for an unforgettable evening, I will be dining out on this for years. / I'll send you the recipes. / Yes, Jocelyn, words can't express.

Roland · John · Roland · John · Roland:Seriously, Johnny, good luck selling the town. You sure gonna need it. / Why's that? / Well, it took a while to sell the first time. I mean, it was on the market for like what 20 years before you bought it. / 20 years? / Yeah. I mean, most people just thought it was a waste of money that it would never sell, you know? Who in their right mind would buy it! Then along came you.

Moira · John:John! Did you know this town was on the market for 20 years before we bought it? / How would I know that? W... why would I know that? I didn't know that.

John · David · David · David:And if we have to fix this town up before we sell it, then we fix it up. We fix it up, bit by bit... And it's gonna take hard work but we can do it because we're Roses. And there is nothing we can't do... / Hi... hi... / You're being super loud right now. / I can hear you through the headphones! / So if you can just wrap it up in here. 10 to a 5. Thanks.

John · Stevie · John · Stevie · John · John · Stevie:What the hell is this? / The town sign. / Bag boy at the grocery store. / Which is what? / 40, 45-something an hour? / 'Good riddance,' is what they said. / Are we having a bad day, honey?

Moira · David · John:John and Moira share a romantic moment; David walks in AGAIN looking for a magazine, triggering: 'Oh my God! Am I being punished for something? David, are you dirty peeping tom?'

Moira · John:Moira panicking about invisible lice/scabies/bed bugs in the bed while John repeatedly says 'What?'

John:John: 'Kids! Come in and say hi to your Aunt Dee Dee. Better hurry before she disappears for another decade.'

Moira · Dee Dee · John:Moira to Dee Dee finding her outside: 'How did you find me?' Dee Dee: 'Well, where else is there to go? And Johnny may have told me.'

John:John: 'So walk me through this, she offered you a cheque and you turned it down?'

John:John: 'Moira, the woman dates dive-bar owners, okay? Let her insult us.'

John:John: 'You talk about bed bugs? That cheque could pay for fumigation. Better yet, we could move to a place that doesn't have bed bugs.'

John:John: 'And you spent more than that on wigs that year.'

John · Moira:Moira: 'It's all I have left, John, literally.' John: 'Swallow it, Moira.' Moira: 'I can't!' John: 'Yes, you can. And then we can buy a case of champagne to wash it down with.'

John · Dee Dee:Go ahead and order whatever you want. This is on us. / They're letting you run up a long tab, are they?

John:John to Dee Dee: 'Well, isn't that funny because Moira doesn't eat here, either. But I will be eating and I just don't know whether to have the ribs or the chops, but I'm definitely ordering pork.'

John:John: 'And we paid for the dinner. So we lost money on the whole deal.'

John · Moira:John: 'She missed a zero.' Moira: 'She missed a zero or two.'

John:John: 'I'm gonna call her. I'm calling her right now, that... What a cheap-ass amount!'

John · Moira:John struggling to say he can cook — 'Well, I-I could... I-I could cook.' / 'Oh, John, John! This is embarrassing!'

Moira · John:Moira and John fondly reminiscing about 'Adelina's enchiladas' with enthusiastic 'Mm! Uh huh! Yeah! Mmm!' agreement.

Moira · John · Alexis:Excuse me, but the enchiladas were my mother's recipe. / I don't think so. / Um, that's not how I remember it.

John:Yes, well, if that's the way you remember things, sweetheart, that's...

John:Well, it's tasting more like meat.

Twyla · John:Oh yeah, it's always quiet before the lunch rush. / Which isn't so much a rush as much as it is just a... / A handful of people showing up at a leisurely pace.

John:And I thought about bringing this up the other day, but decided against it, for some reason. But here we are talking, so, what the hell.

John:Happy to help, I'm sure you'd do the same for me. [beat] If you had anything to offer.

John · Bob:What do I think? I think it's a nice garage. Where's the office? / You're looking at it.

Bob · John:Um, filing those papers'll give you some extra space. / Yeah, Bob, I'm not working for you, I'm not filing papers.

John · Bob:How about I give it a think without cleaning it up! / Suit yourself. As long as it gets cleaned up at some point.

Eric · John:They're Japanese graphic novels. It's called Manga. / Oh well, that sounds like a... Lucrative career choice.

Bob · John · Eric:Either does Johnny, and he's not even related to me. / No, but you said Eric was Gwen's nephew, so technically he's not related to you, either. So... no offense, Eric. / No, that's fair.

John · Bob:Bob, I don't work for you, I'm just setting up an office! / No, I know, it's your space. And uh, just so you know, garage opens at eight, but if you're here a few minutes before that, even better!

John · Moira:Well, this looks delicious! I see someone decided on a new dish. / Nope, these are the enchiladas.

Moira · John:Alexis hasn't been here for a week and a half. / I had breakfast with her just yesterday. / That was me. / We had a lengthy conversation about hosiery and menopause. / Again, that was me.

John · Moira:John: 'They put our stuff right on the lawn. Strangers picking through precious pieces we owned!' — followed by Moira realizing they're doing the exact same thing to this woman

John:John: 'Well, except they'd have been saying, "what great taste they had!"'

John · Moira:John: 'I wonder who got my golf clubs.' Moira: 'Really, John, that's the first thing that comes to mind?' John: 'They were custom made.'

John · Moira:John's attempt at wisdom: 'Well, they were just things, Moira, just things.' followed by immediately listing his German-engineered car's features

Roland · John · Moira:Roland appears uninvited: 'Sure, I'll come in, but just for a second.' — having not been invited at all

Roland · John:Roland describes where he was thinking: 'I don't wanna tell you where I was thinking, but it was a small room in my house, and I was sitting down...'

John:John's response to 'who came to mind': 'I don't-I don't know, Rachel Zoe?'

John:John: 'I don't know how to take that.' after Roland reveals he chose John for fashion help

Roland · John:Roland describes shopping: 'you go in, you get... you know, look at the stuff on the racks, and you pick out the color that you like, and then you try it on...' John: 'You're just describing what shopping is.'

Roland · John:Roland: 'So you wanna-so you wanna go now? It's a little time sensitive, that's the only thing.'

John:John: 'I take it you have measurements, and a mood board, then?' as a condition for going shopping with Roland

Jocelyn · John · Moira:Jocelyn: 'It's memory foam! This must've cost a fortune!' / John: 'Well, there you go, what a find.' — then Moira immediately starts plotting to cover it from other bidders

Roland · John:Roland, describing what he wants for Jocelyn: 'Now, we need a top, and we need a bottom. Like a skirt, something like that, which I know you're familiar with 'cause you're wearing one.'

John · David:John's indignant response: 'Okay, these are pants that just so happen to have a pant fabric over the front and back... Okay.' followed by David agreeing 'Yeah, it's a skirt.'

John:John ordering: 'We'll take the funereal skirt then, and the skanky blouse.'

Moira · John · Jocelyn · Ray:The bidding war between Moira and Jocelyn for the mattress — culminating in Moira bidding against herself twice

John:John: 'I first noticed it when Heart came on, and nobody was taking the high parts.'

Roland · John:Roland offers the mattress for $200 — 'That's a dollar less than you paid for it!' John protests

Moira · John:Moira processing the 'tried it out' revelation: 'And by tried it out, you mean...' John: 'I mean they... tried it out.'

John:John's counterargument: 'Moira, we've stayed at the Kennedy compound. This can't be any worse than that!'

John:John: 'This is a $50 dollar gift from heaven. Look, hey! I don't feel any springs, no nails, no bolts! It's comfy, come to bed. Tomorrow we get a mattress cover.'

John:John: 'Who knows who tried that out!' — about the motel mattress they were already sleeping on

Moira · John:Moira giving in: 'Yes, yes, that's the spirit.' — and then immediately regretting getting into bed

Moira · John:Final mattress scene: both sigh with pleasure as they settle in, punctuated by Moira whispering 'Seriously, don't think about it.'

John:John: 'Oh please don't, you know I can't stand the sight of blood.'

David · Alexis · John · Moira · Stevie:David successfully rides the bike — the whole family (and Stevie) erupting in celebration

John:When miners worked in the, salt industry, they'd come home, after digging... salt.

John · David:What's this? Looks expensive. Oh, this is some new bedding. David, didn't I just... Tell you to save your money?

John · David:Oh, and who pays for it? Nobody, you write it off. Who writes it off?! I don't know, the govern... The 'write off' people!

David · John:But the skin care products you got this morning, those are a write off. What skin care products? You purchased skin care products?!

David · Alexis · John:Oh, did you pick up that random condom that was on the grass there? Ew yeah, whose was that? I have no idea.

David · John · Alexis:Weren't those here before? There was literally nothing here. It was a wasteland. Weren't there more plants here before? No, there weren't!

John · Moira:John and Moira bonding over the horror of Roland and Jocelyn having 'a virtual monopoly on this town'

Moira · John:'Looks like it.' / 'Oh well, isn't that wonderful!' / 'Isn't that wonderful!'

Ronnie's friends · John:Has that actress had work done too? Um, yeah, you can always tell because their upper lip sort of... I mean, like, puffs a bit.

John · Moira:Moira and I have been very, very supportive of the LGBTQ community. Oh, John... John. For... Did I leave out a letter?

Moira · John:Thank you so much, Ronnie. I love your friends and I really loved that dip. Oh, the dip was incredible, really, for men and women.

John · Moira · David · Alexis:'Don't Cry Out Loud' by Melissa Manchester blasting loudly through the motel walls at night, punctuated by frantic banging, screaming, and cross-room arguments between all four Roses.

John · Moira:John says Moira's eyes look 'like they usually look,' meaning to reassure her. Moira immediately takes it as a confession that her eyes are always puffy.

Roland · John:Roland holds a fake phone call with Jocelyn: 'Yeah, yes, I will say hi to him for you. Jocelyn says hi, John.'

Roland · John:John says they were 'banging away' on the walls. Roland: 'Now, whatever you and the missus do after hours, that's your business, not mine.'

Roland · John:John clarifies: 'On the walls Roland, with our fists!' Roland: 'And if you're into that kind of stuff, that doesn't bother me at all.'

John:John, suddenly alarmed: 'Little irritants? What uh... What little irritants? I have little irritants?'

John · Moira:John: 'Father tone?' Moira: 'There it is.' John: 'You think I have a father tone?'

John · Moira:John storms out. Moira calls after him: 'That's another thing, Mr. Rose, you never finish your fights.' John: 'Oh, this one's finished!'

John · Moira:John and Moira reconciliation: 'Yeah well, they don't have what we have.' Moira: 'I can't argue with that.'

John · unnamed character:'Maybe people were mowing their lawns.' / 'Well, it's probably just kids.'

Moira · John:'What if there's a more sinister explanation?' / 'Oh, like the wind.'

John · Moira:'So you think the signs were stolen?' / 'Stolen? Ew! Is that what you think happened?'

Roland · John:Roland reveals he has plastered the town with Jocelyn signs, and John calls it 'overkill a week ago'

Roland · John:Roland's dawning realization: 'Wait. Are you saying that I... had something...' — trailing off guiltily

John · Roland:John and Roland's circular threats: 'if I find out you're accusing me of something I didn't do, then I'm going to accuse you of making false accusations'

Roland · John:Oh. Moira had lawn signs? / She had a few. / Now she has none.

Roland · John:The threats spiral: 'I don't wanna tell you how I respond to threats.' / 'And I don't wanna tell you how I respond to illegal political activity.'

John · Roland:Okay, fine, then don't. / Fine, I won't. [beat] Maybe.

John:John's reaction to the 'Maybe': 'Oh dear God. Yes.'

John:The scene cuts to what appears to be a phone call about finances: 'Well, take it out of my savings account' / 'Can you put some of the air miles towards the electricity bill?'

John:John's first response to David entering: 'Yes, your cologne is too strong.'

John:John: 'I remember a Rosie's Video in Sao Paolo. That was a fun shakedown.'

John:John: 'First of all, I'd never get into the clothing business, 'cause the margins are terrible...'

John:John: '$10,000 to stop using the name Blouse Barn? I would take that in a second. It's a terrible name.'

John:John defends Rose Video: 'Now at least with Rose Video, it said what it was, and the logo looked great on a golf shirt.'

David · John:David: 'She can't even afford me anymore, so...' — revealing to John he was fired

John:John immediately pivots to updating David's resume and 'getting him back into the workforce'

John · David:John says 'Well... anytime, son.' after David has explicitly said his advice was 'entirely unhelpful'

Stevie · John:Oh, Mr. Rose! / Oh, hi Stevie.

John · Stevie:John's increasingly desperate spin: 'She accidentally, uh, threw them out.' / Stevie: 'That's one theory.' / John: 'Or... someone stole them and hid them in our garbage... to make it look like she's done something... really crazy.'

John · Moira:John: 'Moira, Sunrise Bay was a soap opera.' / Moira: 'Yes, and this is reality.'

John · Moira:John and Moira reunite: Moira is delighted to be on council. John says 'that's the spirit, positive thinking.' Moira: 'I won! Jocelyn quit the election.'

Moira · John:Moira: 'And the thought of working with Roland every day. I mean, that's...' / John: 'I wouldn't even think about that.'

John:John: 'Well, that's no fun. No... but probably best?'

Moira · Alexis · John · David:The family pivots from saving to manicures: 'Maybe we could do manicures. I could [get] a manicure. The three of us should go.' / David: 'Wait a minute, just 'cause I do my own nails doesn't mean, you know, I wouldn't go...'

Moira · John:Oh, wish we could've been. / Maybe next time.

John · Moira:This olive tapenade is... / Salty, I know! / Is it? I-I thought it was good, but yeah, it's salty.

John:John admits he was the last to use the car but doesn't have the keys — his own sign-out sheet indicts him

John:John notices Stevie's name on the sign-out sheet and questions why she has access when she has her own car

David · John:David reveals he has the keys — and when asked why his name isn't on the sheet, says 'Because you're the only one using that sign-out sheet'

John:John reads David's sign-out sheet entry aloud: under 'purpose of trip' David wrote 'driving'

Moira · John:The conference crowd chants 'Moira! Moira! Moira!' — Moira shouts over the phone to John that 'the cheering and accolades are drowning out your gentle voice'

Moira · John:Moira on the phone, giddy: 'The cheering and accolades are drowning out your gentle voice.'

John:John hears the crowd chanting 'Moira!' on the phone and says 'Uh, was that for me? Why am I getting booed?'

Moira · Roland · John:Scene cut: Moira is now in bed demanding 'John, shut the blinds' — then 'Johnny, please' — then John is revealed to be Roland

John · Jocelyn:Jocelyn tells John 'You're handling this way better than I am' — John has no idea what she's talking about

John · Jocelyn:'Roland and Moira, sleeping together. What?!' — John's delayed processing of the information

John:John: 'Sleeping with your husband didn't really come up as one of the reasons the night was so successful.'

John · Jocelyn:John points out Moira 'forgot' to mention sleeping with his husband as one of the reasons 'the night was so successful'

John · Jocelyn:Jocelyn: 'We probably shouldn't read anything into the fact that for some reason Moira decided to hide this from you.' John: 'No-no, I wouldn't say 'hide.' No, no.'

John · Jocelyn:John: 'He was naked?' Jocelyn: 'He sleeps naked every night.'

John · Moira:John confronts Moira: 'When were you gonna tell me about this?' Moira: 'Ah, we talked about it this morning, John! We laughed about it.' John: 'We didn't laugh about it. Because we didn't talk about it.'

John:John: 'I would have remembered if you had said something that funny.'

John · Moira:John asks what Moira is doing (cutting down on drinking); Moira: 'Unrelated, I assume?' To what? 'To you sleeping with Roland last night.' 'Okay. This joke has played itself out.'

Moira · John:Moira pours out John's beer as a symbolic gesture of sobriety; John: 'Moira, that's my beer! You don't even drink beer!' Moira: 'It's symbolic, John.'

Roland · John:Roland arrives late at night: 'Johnny, me and six of my closest friends were hoping we could have a little chat.' John: 'You're talking about the beer.'

Roland · John:Roland is '99.999% sure nothing happened' — John: 'I'm 100% sure and I wasn't even there!'

John:John tells Roland that 'my wife would never go out for a burger when she has a strong penchant for steak'

Roland · John:Roland: 'Breakfast tomorrow, right?' — cheerfully ignoring the dismissal

John · Moira:John announces himself to Moira: 'Don't worry it's only me' — 'Ha ha, very droll, Mr. Rose'

John · Moira:John asks about the hotel amenities with pointed subtext: 'High-pressured water, down pillows?' Moira: 'I'll never know. I had my one chance at a proletarian oasis and I squandered it, passed out in Roland's bed.'

Moira · John:Moira receives flowers and assumes they're a romantic gesture from John — 'Oh, John, I do love how you keep the magic alive.' They're actually sympathy flowers because the internet thinks she's dead.

David · John:David says the death rumor 'isn't even trending, which is actually kind of sad.' John replies: 'That's what you think is sad?'

Roland · John · Moira:Roland physically embraces John in tearful grief over Moira's death — 'Let it out' — before being told she's alive and standing right there.

Roland · John:Boy, it's strange, I can almost still smell her perfume. / It's because I was just talking to her.

Roland · John:Roland tells John that Moira's 'death' made him realize he wants John to be godfather to his baby: 'It's a no-brainer, Johnny. I mean, we're best friends.' John: 'Yeah... but are we?'

Roland · John:Roland misquotes The Godfather: 'It's not an offer, Johnny, it's an offer you can't refuse.' John: 'Oh. Ha ha, Marlon Brando.' Roland: 'Right, but from what movie?' John: 'The Godfather.' Roland: 'No, from Casino.'

John · Roland:Oh. Ha ha, Marlon Brando. / Right, but from what movie? / The Godfather. / No, from Casino.

John:I assume when you say godfather that it's, you know, just an honorary title?

John:John visually reacts to watching Roland eat the enormous fried chicken — long pause before speaking, losing his train of thought mid-sentence.

Roland · John:Roland eating moment: 'It's just a little piece of skin back there. I got it. Still good.' — referring to his food, with John watching in mild disgust.

Jocelyn · John:Jocelyn tells John that Roland has been asking multiple people to be godparent: 'He has been asking everybody. You're the 3rd person I've had to talk to today.'

John · Jocelyn:John tries to bow out graciously: 'It's all for the best, Jocelyn, because frankly the thought of raising another kid...' Jocelyn: 'Yeah, well let's face it, your first 2 were no walk in the park, right.'

Jocelyn · John:Jocelyn offers: 'If you like, we could, um, move you up the list?' John: 'No, no, no, but this has all been very, very helpful.'

John · Moira:David and family react to news of Moira being alive again: 'Well, looks like we're back, sweetheart!' / 'Well, it was fun while it lasted.'

Moira · John:John suggests returning the condolence gifts. Moira: 'John, they're perishable. And excuse me, but this is the first time we've heard from most of these people. These gifts are long overdue.'

John:John: 'Who's Cuppy?' — the only person not caught up on the viral kitten story.

Moira · John:Kids! / No Moira, it's 3:30. / David! / Alexis!

Roland · John:word on the street is that you're in a little hot water with Moira, huh? / No, everything's fine with Moira. I just thought she was coming in today.

John · Roland:Moira is showing my letters? / Yeah, I was talking to Bob about it. / Why were you talking to Bob about it?! / We're trying to save your marriage, bud!

John · Roland:everyone should mind their own business, and stay out of my affairs. / Affairs, plural? Oh.

John:Moira, you wrote those letters!

Moira · John · John:The spelunking incident. / No. / It was after she got thrown upwards through a skylight.

John · Moira:It was that week on 'Sunrise Bay' when Vivian Blake had her accident, you were in a body cast, they wouldn't let you take it off. You were writing with your left hand! / The spelunking incident. / No. It was after she got thrown upwards through a skylight.

Moira · John:But why are you reading them now? [long pause] / I was missing you, so I took out the letters, because reading them made me feel like you were still here with me.

John:Who's saying that?

John:No kids, I understand that you both have read a somewhat adult-themed correspondence between a loving wife and her husband?

David · John:This is why I think it's best to torch everything from past failed relationships. / I'd hardly call this a failed relationship, David. We're still here, 35 years later.

John:Would you look at that? That looks like the tiara you wore at your bat mitzvah, Alexis.

John · Alexis:And what exactly did you get out of this fun swap? / I got Twyla's step-brother's dog tags. And a whistle.

Moira · John:Moira: Caw! Caw! / Oh! / Is she okay? / Yeah, she's just sleeping.

John · David · Twyla · David:Is she okay? / Yeah, she's just sleeping. / Well, I'm ready to order. / Okay, can somebody close her eyelids, at least? Please?

John · Moira:John trying to look at fabric swatches while driving, eventually agreeing to look before the cat impact

John · Moira:After approaching the farmhouse to return the cat, John and Moira's reaction beat when the farmer turns out to be intimidating/unwelcoming — implied by John's defeated 'Or not.'

John · Farmer:John: 'Well, we don't necessarily know whether the cat belongs to this, uh, gentleman.' Farmer: 'Well, what did it look like?' John: 'The name on the tags was Sergio?' Farmer: 'Well, that was him.'

John · Moira · Farmer:Farmer: 'Oh, these city people driving too damn fast up and down this road.' John: 'No, I-I don't think speed was the thing here.' Moira: 'No, my husband has what's called a feather foot.'

Moira · John:Moira: 'Now that's done, and we have a very pressing engagement so.' John: 'Well, my wife is so right, we're running very late right now.' Moira: 'The Hammam Spas are notoriously fickle about refunds.'

Moira · John:Moira's explanation to Bebe: 'Yes, it seems he had taken ill, and stumbled out on the road poor thing, presumably to end it all.' John: 'And then?' Moira: 'And then we ran over him.'

John:John: 'You know, I think we've already missed the seaweed wrap, and at this rate, it's not looking good for the salt scrub.'

Moira · John · Farmer:Farmer asks the Roses to pay for the cat's funeral. John: 'The funeral... for your cat?' Farmer: 'Well it was Baby's only cat.' Moira: 'Perhaps it's the lack of air, but I believe I saw three or four cats running around since this interrogation began.'

Moira · John · Farmer:Farmer asks if Bebe likes the theatre. Moira offers complimentary partially-obstructed-view seats to Cabaret. Farmer: 'No! She likes the Kinky Shoes.'

John:John: 'I believe it's Kinky Boots. And no.' — delivered as if the title correction is the more important clarification

John · Farmer · Moira:John suggests a professional massage for Bebe. Farmer: 'I like massages.' Moira: 'So, now you're taking Bebe to the spa?' John: 'No...maybe Baby can take her, uh, grandmother.' Farmer: 'I'm her mother!'

John:John giving the farmer his aftershave as a parting gift: 'This is my favourite aftershave. This is for you.'

John · Moira:John: 'I didn't think you'd be robbing us blind.' Moira: 'According to Mrs. Rose, our motel is the only place sad enough to pass for a pre-war Berlin brothel.'

John:John tells Moira he felt 'a little tightening this morning when I picked up that box of programs from the printer's' — the programs Moira asked him to carry

John:John, clearly in distress, asks Moira to let 'your voice take five for a minute'

Doctor · John:The doctor mentions 'there have been some fatal cases... of heartburn.' John immediately: 'Did I?'

John · Moira:John: 'Thank you, Doctor. I'll have to call you with the rest of that Pebble Beach story.' Moira: 'Oh John, the man's done enough!'

Roland · John:'Well, Johnny, you still wanna call the cops?' / 'Okay, you were right on this one, Roland.' / 'I think this was a pretty important one to be right on.'

John · David · Alexis · Moira:'Kids! Breakfast is served.' / 'I already ate.' / 'I don't see any breakfast.' / 'Mimosas! We're celebrating!'

John:John toasts Moira's potential Broadway career — 'or maybe a pledge drive on PBS'

John · David:'David? You don't have to look quite so morose. You're with your family.'

John · Moira:'Even the bracelet?' / 'Even the bracelet.' / 'And you're giving it to me?' / 'No, there are 30 diamonds on that thing.'

John:'Yes, it's a dignified family symposium, David. Not some all-one-can-consume smorgasbord. Don't be an animal, son.'

John:'Just saying it out loud makes it so real.' — reaction to Moira's 'quote' line

Moira · John · David:'And we're tied to the third?' / 'Oh Moira...' / 'Am I tied to the third?' / 'Of course you're getting married on the third, David.'