A banker representing a potential buyer comes to the Scranton branch to interview the H.R. department before the sale goes through.
WAR
39.7
Wins Above Replacement
“Sabre” ranks #134 of 183 The Office episodes on the Humor Index, scoring 74.8 — Great. The episode packs 54 scored jokes at 2.3 per minute, averaging 6.9 on craft and 6.5 on impact, with Michael landing the most laughs. Every joke is ranked below with its individual craft and impact scores.
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Top Jokes
Michael: Where I'm from, there're two types of folk-- Those who ain't, And those who are knee-high on a grasshopper. Which type ain't you ain't?
Michael Absurdist Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Oscar: I am treating you the same as a man for whom I would also not stand. Unless it was the president. Or judge judy.
Oscar Deadpan/Understatement Escalation ★ Rewatch Jim · Michael: Hey, what was that movie Where their boss was within earshot, And they could have just gone and talked to her? / Lethal weapon? / That's it.
Jo: I'm joleen bennett. Jo for short. I'm a breast cancer survivor. Close, personal friends with nancy pelosi, And truman capote and I slept with three of the same guys.
Jo Escalation Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Dwight · Ryan: Course I seesaw. Mose and I seesaw all the time. / No. Uh, the movie. / Oh. Yeah. Great film. Almost as fun as going on a seesaw.
All Jokes — 54 analyzed
Show all ↓ Hide ↑ Michael: Could it be under affirmation? You have thousands of those.
Michael: She bought us sight unseen, like a mail order bride.
Michael Observational Setup/Punchline Michael: Are we ugly? Are we smart? Are we cool? Are we too cool? Do we speak english?
Jo: My husband and I are divorced, but I kept the mrs. Just to piss off the new wife.
Jo Dark/Subversive Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Jo · Michael: They love a good crotch. / Yeah, they sure do. / You should take that as a compliment. / Oh, I do.
Oscar: I am treating you the same as a man for whom I would also not stand. Unless it was the president. Or judge judy.
Oscar Deadpan/Understatement Escalation ★ Rewatch Jo: Who's this tall drink of sun tea?
Jo Character Comedy Observational Jo: Two guys doing one job? We gotta do something about that.
Jo Observational Deadpan/Understatement Jo: Jeez, you gave me a paper cut on my throat!
Jo Physical/Slapstick Reaction Beat Jo: Yeah, I have this thing about men cutting or threatening to cut my throat. Don't try to cut my throat.
Jo Dark/Subversive Absurdist Michael: Which, from your description, sounds like a colorful, lawless swamp.
Jo · Michael: Each of you is doing half a job. / No. / And sometimes I can hardly handle that.
Jo: You can't give me gravy and tell me it's jelly, 'cause gravy ain't sweet... Is it, jim?
Michael: Where I'm from, there're two types of folk-- Those who ain't, And those who are knee-high on a grasshopper. Which type ain't you ain't?
Michael Absurdist Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Jim · Michael: Do you even know what that means? / Yes. [followed by immediate dismissal]
Jo: I'm joleen bennett. Jo for short. I'm a breast cancer survivor. Close, personal friends with nancy pelosi, And truman capote and I slept with three of the same guys.
Jo Escalation Character Comedy ★ Rewatch Andy · Kevin: Beep beep! / Beep beep! / 20 people dead in a pileup. There's blood everywhere!
Erin · Andy: You named them? / Uh, charles schulz did.
Erin Andy Deadpan/Understatement Character Comedy Andy · Erin: It's roger federer for men. I sprayed some in there. / Andy, whoa! Thank you very much. / It's got pheromones in it.
Andy Erin Cringe/Discomfort Character Comedy Jim · Jo: Just choosin' seats. Not getting married. / Chop-chop, little onion.
Jim Jo Deadpan/Understatement Absurdist Kevin: No, we know. Texas.
Kevin Deadpan/Understatement Character Comedy Michael: I could manage my way around that. / They're the easiest to use printers in the market. / I will try to manage my excitement.
Michael: Camel cigarettes did the same thing with joe camel By making him look like a penis. I can't even go near a cigarette now Without thinking of a penis. And vice versa.
Erin: But I guess in most romantic comedies, The guy you're supposed to be with Is the one that you never thought of in that way. You might have even thought he was annoying Or possibly homosexual.
Erin Observational Character Comedy Jim: You know, some people say they're not in it for the money. Well, with all due respect to this job, I think I'm definitely in it for the money. And, quite honestly, the women.
Jim Deadpan/Understatement Character Comedy Michael: * la la la la, hello, oscar *
Michael Physical/Slapstick Character Comedy Michael: Oh, that is my favorite ocean--I love it!
Michael Wordplay/Pun Character Comedy Jim · Jo: I...Would sleep in my office, And I would sexually harass people. / Why would you do that? / I'm turning myself in right now.
Jim Jo Absurdist Character Comedy Erin: Oh! Michael marked his heights. He's...Grown.
Erin Visual Gag Deadpan/Understatement ★ Rewatch Dwight · Ryan: You're 20 minutes late. / Um... I was at another dumpster. / Just admit you lost track of time.
Dwight: I wish I had a lair.
Dwight Character Comedy Absurdist Dwight · Ryan: Course I seesaw. Mose and I seesaw all the time. / No. Uh, the movie. / Oh. Yeah. Great film. Almost as fun as going on a seesaw.
Dwight · Ryan: That is the most idiotic thing I have ever heard in my life! / Well, suggest something else then, don't just-- / He's supposed to cut his leg off? / Don't just criticize my idea! / Think! / You think of something then!
Ryan · Dwight: Like frodo. / Why don't you just let me handle the tolkien references, Okay, dumb jock? / Well, I think he can be corrupted. Like gollum. / Smeagol was corrupted And became gollum.
Erin · Jim: Do you want me to spin you in your chair and make you dizzy? / Why would I want to do that? / It's a thinking technique. All the top executives do it. It keeps the brain moving, And a...Spinning brain is a working brain.
Michael: I went by there the other day. Saw some of the women walking in. Not...Really my cup of tea. Actually, kevin, you might like it.
Michael Setup/Punchline Character Comedy Jim · Michael: You know, we really don't announce out loud Our sales that much. / Why not? It's part of the sales experience. / It's not really 1992 anymore.
Kelly · Andy: Obsessed with me much? / Well, everyone got one. / What did yours say? / friends are worth sharing a doghouse with.
Erin: I feel like such a fool For thinking that andy was only going after one girl. 'cause andy bernard is a playboy, And why shouldn't he be? He's got it all.
Erin Irony/Sarcasm Character Comedy Dwight: Listen. I know you have to say that, But we got a little problem here. There is a employee named jim halpert, And he's doi some terrible things, okay? He's molesting people via the internet, And we need to stop him.
Dwight: No, the cops called us.
Michael · Phyllis: No, this is geological. / I sent an email out to everyone in this area That this might be a side effect To my new allergy medication I'm on.
Creed: It's not 'cause of the smell. I'm just expecting a nosebleed.
Creed Absurdist Dark/Subversive ★ Rewatch Erin · Andy: I didn't see you. / And you were there all along. / Well, I warmed it up for you. So should be good to go.
Erin Andy Cringe/Discomfort Awkward Silence Meredith: Believe me, if I got that card, We'd be in the bathroom doing it right...Now.
Meredith Cringe/Discomfort Character Comedy Jim · Michael: Well, it's what you wanted. I really need my job back. We made a terrible mistake here.
Michael · Jim: We make a poster that says 'happy opposite day,' And she sees it on the way out-- / That's stupid.
Jim · Michael: Hey, what was that movie Where their boss was within earshot, And they could have just gone and talked to her? / Lethal weapon? / That's it.
Michael: And weirdly, I'm a good dog person, right, guys? See? They love me.
Jo: And don't ride 'em. Lotta people try to ride 'em.
Jo Absurdist Character Comedy Andy · Phyllis: please understand this does not mean That I like you in any way. / You don't even like us as friends? / Phyllis, you guys are like my closest friends. I just mean I don't like like you. / What are we, five?
Dwight: Boss for...What was it? Oh...4 1/2 hours? New record... Low. Previous record, henry rostin. Boss for nine years, four months.
Dwight Setup/Punchline Character Comedy Dwight: I can't help but think That something we did made this possible.
Dwight Irony/Sarcasm Character Comedy Top Episodes — The Office
