Sabre

Michael:Michael singing 'I've got a big box, yes I do! I've got a big box, how about you?' while unboxing Sabre equipment

Jim:Colleague (likely Pam or Jim) dryly: 'I think you don't know what you're saying.'

Michael:Michael corrects the pronunciation: 'It is from Sah-bray, our new owner, and it is to Sah-bray. Us!' — establishing his persistent mispronunciation of 'Sabre'

Michael:Michael: 'I wonder what's inside. Scissor me.'

Michael:Michael's confessional: 'They stepped in at the eleventh hour and they saved our asses. Although David Wallace said that we were the one branch that was actually working right, so we probably could've saved our own asses. We didn't need them touching our asses.'

Creed:Creed, eyeing the electrical cord: 'This cord has Creed written all over it.'

Michael:Michael announces that the new scanner 'can come visit it in my office' — keeping the best item for himself

Michael · Dwight · Jim:Michael's 'bad news' confessional interrupted by escalating parenthetical corrections from the documentary crew or colleagues: 'Due to circumstances beyond my control... (Impulsivity and inattention to detail)... I have opened a box which should not have been opened... (Terrible mistake)... and distributed things which should not have been distributed. (Un-distributable.) ...He opened it like an ape.'

Dwight · Jim · Office Staff:The office tries to repack the Sabre box: 'Did we try printer first, shredder at an angle?' / 'Fax cable, then the scanner upside-down?' / 'Have you tried making everything smaller?'

Michael:The team successfully repacks the box and Michael delivers a sincere, inspirational speech about it

Michael · Erin:Michael immediately opens the box again ('Erin, scissor me, please?') despite the entire repacking ordeal

Michael · Dwight · Jim:Michael asks 'What do you want us to do?' before Gabe arrives and someone responds 'Why do I have to explain everything?' / 'Because we're usually not on the same page.'

Michael:Michael's confessional about David Wallace, showing a photo: 'You can really see that he is okay taking a picture with me, even though I was there for disciplinary reasons.'

Dwight:Dwight immediately offers Gabe a hotdog on arrival: 'Welcome. Scranton hotdog from Scranton?'

Michael · Jim:Michael introduces Jim as 'my protégé' / Jim: 'Co-manager, actually.' / Michael: 'In training.' / Jim: 'Trained. Loving it. Good at it, so...'

Michael · Gabe:Gabe asks to film the welcome song for the Sabre website, and Michael corrects Gabe's pronunciation of 'Sabre' back to 'Sah-bray' — only for Gabe to repeat 'Sabre' correctly, confusing Michael

Michael · Office Staff · Gabe:The office performs a welcome song for Gabe set to 'Welcome to New York' / 'Viva Las Vegas' style, including the line 'Dunder Mifflin and Sah-bray' — which Gabe immediately corrects mid-song: 'Sabre. It's Sabre.'

Gabe:After the song ends, Gabe asks 'You sure it's Sabre?' — apparently genuinely doubting himself after Michael's confident mispronunciations

Pam · Jim:Pam tells Jim she MapQuested directions to the daycare (4 blocks away) so they won't get lost; Jim: 'Or we could drive, and that takes one minute.'

Jim · Pam:Jim and Pam's confessional about the daycare: 'Turns out a lot of parents want the very best for their children. That's weird.' / 'But if not, there's always the Army. The infantry.'

Christian Slater:The Sabre corporate welcome video features Christian Slater as narrator, asking 'What's it like to work for Sabre? Let's find out together.'

Christian Slater:The Sabre video's corporate platitudes: 'Working at Sabre means taking on the challenge of the road that rises to meet you' / 'Sabre is respecting the past, but opening the window to the future' / 'Have you ever tasted a rainbow? At Sabre, you will.'

Sabre Video Narrator:After the Sabre video ends, a second, more honest voice says: 'So, you've been shown a nonsensical video. You're probably wondering, "What's going on?" Well, you're not alone.'

Gabe · Michael · Office Staff:Gabe announces 'Don't think of yourselves as paper salesmen anymore, but as printer salesmen who also sell paper.' — Michael: 'Perfect.' / Someone: 'No. Don't like that.'

Gabe · Office Employee:Gabe: 'At Sabre, we really encourage honest communication. You should always feel free to express your thoughts...' Employee immediately: 'Talk about vacation days!'

Office Employee:Employee explains they have a policy of two vacation weeks but has 'banked six weeks' and already booked a Great Lakes cruise

Creed · Nick · Gabe:Creed notices Nick (new IT guy) going through his desk and asks 'Hey, who the hell's going through our stuff?' — is told it's the IT guy setting up a site blocker

Michael:'No. Don't like that.' (second instance) — reaction to Gabe announcing Twitter and YouTube will be blocked

Kevin:Kevin's elaborate defense of his paper cup routine: 'You know what can't fit in a bottle are the 20 little trips I take to the cooler, and the 20 little scans I do of everybody to make sure everything's running smoothly, and the 20 little conversations that I have with Stanley.'

Gabe · Kevin · Office Employee:Gabe introduces eco-friendly aluminum water bottles. An employee asks if they'll still get to use 'the little cups.' Gabe reveals: 'He goes through 20 a day.'

Michael:Michael's confessional about embracing Sabre: 'There is a small part of me that is actually very excited about this new company. But 70% of me is water, and the other part, the real part, the part that has feelings and emotions and thoughts and makes decisions, and, if I can be crass, makes babies, that part thinks that all of these changes suck.'

Jim · Michael:Reaction beat: Someone asks Michael 'Really? You don't have enough water in there? Your stomach?' — indicating Michael has been drinking from his aluminum bottle conspicuously during the speech

Michael:Michael: 'Too much change is not a good thing. Ask the climate.'

Michael · Gabe:Michael tells Gabe he's 'trying to embrace all of these changes' / Gabe: 'I don't get that sense at all from you' / Michael: 'Well, you should have a little.'

Michael · Gabe:Michael: 'I'll be honest, I'm having trouble wrapping my head around a couple of them.' / Gabe: 'Which ones?' / Michael: 'All of them.'

Pam · Jim:Jim and Pam arrive at the daycare: 'Okay, this is officially the cutest thing I've ever seen. Cubbies! I totally forgot about cubbies. There's a finger-painting station and a curly slide. Am I too old to go here?'

Jim · Pam · Jerry:Jim walks in on the daycare director in the bathroom; both try to pretend it didn't happen during the subsequent interview

Pam:Pam in the daycare suggests the strawberries ran away from the pizza: 'Maybe they ran away 'cause the pizza was, like, "Hey, get out of here, you stupid strawberries."'

Erin · Andy:Andy's confessional: 'I think when Andy finally asks me out, he's gonna try to top what he did with the drum line.' Cut to Erin's confessional: 'The ball is totally in Erin's court, after the whole drum line thing.'

Michael · Gabe · Jo Bennett:Michael's video call with Sabre CEO Jo Bennett: Gabe tries to relay Michael's concerns while clearly being managed by Jo on the phone ('Gabe, honey, I love this, I love the sound of your voice, but I really need some new information now.')

Michael · Jo Bennett:Jo demands Gabe turn the laptop around so she can see who's in the room; Michael introduces himself and compliments her accent: 'I think you have a great accent.' / Jo: 'Thank you. I've been working on it since I was a little girl.'

Michael:Michael to Jo on the video call: 'Is Christian Slater back there? Because he knows... He'd know what to do.'

Michael · Jo Bennett:Jo tells Michael to 'take until the end of the day' to decide if he can handle the changes — Michael replies 'I've already told him, but I will tell him again, if you think that'll help.'

Jim · Pam:Jim and Pam's daycare interview is going badly; Pam whispers 'We should just go. He's really uncomfortable.' / Jim: 'He's uncomfortable because you're acting weird, so you have to stop acting weird.' / Pam: 'What if we just bring it up? We'll just put it out in the open?' / Jim: 'That's the weirdest possible solution to the problem.'

Michael:Michael's confessional before visiting David Wallace: 'He is not a big fan of me dropping by unannounced, but then again, who is?'

Michael · David Wallace:Michael arrives at David Wallace's house. Wallace, clearly unemployed and enjoying a leisurely lunch, invites Michael in. Michael: 'Can I just stay here and never go back?' Wallace: 'Things not going so well over there?'

David Wallace:David Wallace's home: there is a very loud toy/truck that a child is playing with. Wallace says 'That's very loud. Keep it up, son!' while not meaning it

Michael · David Wallace:Michael looks at David Wallace's comfortable home life and says 'You have got the life, my friend. Can I just stay here and never go back?'

Michael · Mrs. Wallace:Wallace's wife appears and Michael, unbidden, explains himself to her: 'Hi. Sorry, I was just in the neighborhood and thought I'd come by and say...' / Wallace's wife: 'No problem at all.'

David Wallace · Wallace's Wife · Michael:Wallace's wife proposes they 'go outside' and the family shuffles out, leaving Michael alone to talk to an empty room — a visual gag of Michael being subtly expelled from the house

Jim · Pam · Jerry:Jim and Pam's daycare interview: they ask about holiday flexibility 'because we might want to change our days around a little bit.' / Jerry: 'That seems a bit premature, don't you think? I don't even know if I have a space for you yet.'

Pam · Jerry · Jim:Pam suddenly asks Jerry: 'Is this because Jim walked in on you going to the bathroom?' — breaking the unspoken social agreement mid-interview

Jim · Pam:Jim to Pam: 'Seriously? You told her?' — assuming Pam told the interviewer about the bathroom incident when it was Pam who just blurted it out directly

Jerry · Pam:Jerry tells Pam: 'Did you ever consider that you might not be as charming as you think you are?'

Pam · Jim · Jerry:Pam: 'This coming from the guy who still uses a children's toilet.' / Jerry: 'It doesn't lock for the children's safety.' / Jim: 'Why didn't you just lock the door, man?' / Jerry: 'It doesn't lock for the children's safety.' / Pam: 'Anybody could have walked in.' / Jerry: 'It was story time.'

Michael · David Wallace:Michael visits David Wallace at home hoping for advice; Wallace has no advice and admits 'I don't have any ideas for you.'

Andy · Erin:Andy tries to hint to Erin about doing something on the weekend: 'Hey, any fun weekend plans?' / 'No. You?' / 'No, actually.' / (beat) / 'So, nothing? No movies or parties or anything you might want to invite someone to?' / 'Nothing. It's wide open.' / 'Okay. That's as hard as I can hint.'

Michael · David Wallace:David Wallace invites Michael to join the 'Suck It' venture: 'I want to team up with David Wallace, and Suck It is one of them.' / Michael confessional: 'There are very few things that would make me not want to team up with David Wallace, and Suck It is one of them.'

Michael:Michael's confessional after visiting Wallace: 'That was some sort of weird creature that lives in David Wallace's house.'

Michael · Office Staff:Michael tries repeatedly to give a toast but each attempt is interrupted or corrected: 'Well, I'm not really one for making speeches.' / 'Yes, you are. Since when?' / 'You make a lot.' / ... / 'That's your toast?' / 'No, this is my toast.' / 'Michael, this isn't a toast, you're just thinking out loud.' / 'Here's my toast. / 'Just 'cause you have liquid, that doesn't make it a toast.'

Office Staff · Michael:Someone challenges Michael: 'Yes, you are. Since when? You make a lot.' in response to 'I'm not really one for making speeches.'

Michael:Michael: 'Orange juice is in here, and like Sabre, it is from Florida, and it is good.'

Michael · Office Staff:The staff drinks from the aluminum bottles and reacts: 'Wow, that is metallicy. That's like drinking a battery.' / 'Really gets you in the fillings, doesn't it?'

Michael · Office Staff:After everyone drinks from the aluminum bottles: 'Wow, that is metallicy. That's like drinking a battery.' / 'Really gets you in the fillings, doesn't it?'