Indianapolis

How about just you? Thank you, Ron. Yes.

I couldn't care less about the commendation. But Indianapolis is home to Charles Mulligan's steakhouse

I have taken a picture of every steak I've ever eaten there

The lady next to me: A bitch. Specifically, my ex-wife Tammy.

Oh, am I wearing an ascot? I didn't notice.

His ether-based perfume 'Blackout' was named one Maxim's top 100 ways to trick someone into sex

'Hey, Doug from Bloomington is thinking about buying a shirt.' I mean, come on, Doug, who cares?

take him under your tiny little wing

April Ludgate Is the Best Ever, Volume One

I kind of forgot that you need money when you have a girlfriend

different kinds of lubes that warm up when you rub 'em on stuff

I don't know. I guess we're dating. It's new. Whatever. I don't like labels.

In high school, they used to call me Angela Lansbury. But that was because of my haircut.

The owner of the motel I'm staying at said she was gonna screen Hope Floats in the lobby. Asked me if I wanted to watch.

I think she's gonna murder you.

Dame Gervin's Misshapen Celebrity Castle. It's where Madame Tussaud sends all of its failed wax figures

there are flecks of meat in my mustache, and I refuse to clean it because every now and then, a piece of meat will fall into my mouth

Ron doesn't even have a front door. He won't even tell me his address.

There's a lot of men's coats in here. I like coats.

Tom Hammen... Hammenstein. Haverford.

They just boarded her up like she was some common warehouse.

What happened to the steaks that were in there when they closed? Do you think they got eaten?

his real name is Dante Fiero, but he changed it to Dennis Feinstein 'cause that's way more exotic in Pawnee

Uh-oh. Looks like you just nailed your future.

I'm a girl in a sleazy club.

My name? Oprah. I said I want to drink alone.

I told him I had a pork deficiency.

Since I am not a rabbit, no, I do not.

Well, Yoda wouldn't actually need networking. I mean, his powers were more spiritual. Shut up, you nerd!

You know, legally, if you're from the FDA, you have to tell me.

That guy just pitched me a cologne called 'Sluts.' I'm gonna tell you what I told him. Not just anybody can do this. Although it's a great name and I'm probably gonna steal it.

It smells like somebody spilled Chinese food in a bird cage.

Portobello mushrooms. Where's the steak? Oh, there's no steak. That's a healthier option.

My dad owns this place. I'm Janet. Janet Snakehole.

We are like Robin Hood. We steal from the club and we give to ourselves.

I'm a human being. Sometimes I get blemishes. I'm not perfect.

We broke up last week.

Sweet and beautiful Ann has never been dumped before, and Chris is such a positive person, when he broke up with her, she just didn't realize it.

although it does kind of make you wonder how good of a nurse she is

A teriyaki hairpiece? I smell like the guy who's always coming up short.

I can smell your dreams, Tom. I can. And I can smell 'em from here. And honestly, they smell fucking terrible.

One time, when I was in high school, a guy's mom called me and broke up with me for him.

Don't eat anything. Rebecca's coming. Who was Rebecca? Yeah. Exactly.

Wait, wait. I worry what you just heard was, 'Give me a lot of bacon and eggs.' What I said was, give me all the bacon and eggs you have. Do you understand?

He's gonna smell your dreams now.